What's Eating Alfred Jones?
by Shatterdoll
Summary: AU: Matthew thought that Alfred's sordid reputation and their crazy families were the only challenges in their relationship. Little did he know Alfred is harboring a secret that might tear them apart. Can he save him before it's too late? Mainly AlxMatt
1. Chapter 1

Oh my... why am I posting something new when I have two other stories going? -laughs- Expect this to update _very _slowly. I am still working kinks out and I won't put as much focus on it as my other stories. Or at least not at this moment in time, who knows that might change.

Let's see... I sort of want to keep what is going to happen in this a secret but I worry that I should give you proper warnings for content... Can I just say it is rated M for many very good reasons and that you read at your own risk? -laughs- Too vague?

Also I'm practicing writing in past tense versus present tense in this so sorry if its wonky at times (I might forget).

**Disclaimer: **I am neither the owner or creator of Hetalia nor its characters. Otherwise that world would be all sorts of gay. (More so than it already is)

* * *

The sound of their heavy breathing and of skin smacking against skin was embarrassing enough. Such things made him flush bright red self-consciously. That is why Matthew wanted nothing more than to tell Alfred to kindly stop screaming at the top of his voice, "Yeeehaw!"

Matthew opened his eyes and looked up at Alfred, as if doing so would grant him the courage to break his silence. It only served to flush his body with more heat. Despite people telling them they could have been twins, Matthew didn't agree. He loved looking at Alfred and he found far too many differences between them to ever feel like he was having sex with a brother or clone as some had implied.

A muscular frame, maybe just the beginning signs of chubbiness on the stomach. A result of too much fast food. A handsome face filled with a cocky self-assuredness that made him weak in the knees topped by hair the color of wheat. A strand stuck up defiantly, peaking out from the cowboy hat which served as the only article of clothing Alfred happened to be wearing. And of course those sky blue eyes that went on for eternity.

Call him weak, but Matthew couldn't find it in him to demand Alfred stop making such embarrassing outbursts. Besides, after he had opened his eyes the cries matched better with his actions. The way he was riding him, body smoothly grinding, hips rolling, back arching, as if he were conquering a wild stallion instead of mild Matthew.

Matthew began to moan, trying to stuff the sounds back down his throat. Alfred reached down and pinched one of his nipples teasingly. "Don't hold back your voice. It's so fucking hot when you cry out."

Face flushed, Matthew began to voice his pleasure timidly. "Now that's more like it Mattie, you tell daddy how you like it!"

The word 'daddy' immediately brought upon unwanted images of his oversexed Papa and for half a second Matthew was turned off. Still, even that image couldn't pull him away from the very real weight of Alfred crashing down on him again and again, stirring him up, making him crazy. His pent up lust became sharpened to a fine point until he was writhing beneath Alfred, no longer concerned about being embarrassed.

Alfred reached up and took off his hat, waving it frantically in the air. "Yeehaw! Fuck yeah Mattie! Say my name!"

"A-ahhh nnn, A-Alfred!"

He began to repeat the name as Alfred pounded against him.

"What in the bloody hell is going on in he-"

Alfred craned his neck back never missing a beat and Matthew's eyes flew to the doorway where Alfred's father stood, face flushed bright red in horror and shock. Humiliated, Mathew tried to tell Alfred to stop only to suddenly, much to his further humiliation, come very hard. The involuntary cry he gave masked the sound of the door shutting abruptly. He let his head fall back against the pillow breathing hard. But even as his body tingled with the aftershocks of his orgasm he felt almost traumatized. He had just come in front of Alfred's dad. The shame of it was enough to make him want to crawl into a hole and die.

Not missing a beat Alfred slid between his legs and pressed into him, still slick and stretched from earlier, and continued with a few last graceful thrusts of his body before following Matthew, throwing his hat into the air as he finished. Once he had ceased his rocking he leaned down and kissed Matthew, practically breathless. "God you're amazing...I love fucking you Mattie."

Matthew looked at him with a pained expression. "I really wish you wouldn't say it like that... And what are we going to do? Y-your dad... Oh god Al, I've never been so embarrassed in my life!"

Alfred scoffed and collapsed on top of Matthew, who found his weight both annoying under the current circumstances and very comforting. "Yeah... Sorry about that. Arthur wasn't supposed to be home until late...Don't worry about it too much. I'm sure he's already deleted it from his prude mind."

Matthew wasn't so sure about that and a sick feeling sank into the pit of his stomach. "I mean... should we... should we go out and um..."

Alfred buried his face in the crook of Matthew's neck. "I said don't worry about it. He should have knocked anyway. Asshole."

Matthew slowly started to run his fingers through Alfred's hair. He knew that Arthur wasn't Alfred's real father, but his adoptive father. Al had made that pretty explicit from day one. He had no reservations on talking about his past. At around the age of six or seven—_I can't be expected to remember exactly how old I was_, he had said almost defiantly—his parents had died quite suddenly.

Somehow or another he had ended up being adopted by the British native Arthur Kirkland who had known his parents on some level, though how he didn't exactly know even now. When Matthew had asked him why he didn't simply talk to Arthur about it Al had just shook his head and rolled his eyes. _"The man doesn't _talk_ Mattie." _

The two had lived in London for a time then moved to the States when Alfred was about eleven and had lived in their current suburb ever since. Matthew also knew that Alfred certainly did not get along with his guardian, often verbally belittling him, blowing him off, and refusing to call him 'Dad' like Arthur repeatedly asked him to. Matthew did not always get along with his Papa but he can't even begin to imagine having such a rift between them. He had the feeling the two of them hadn't ever had a decent conversation in the ten or so years they had been together as father and son.

Matthew silently contemplated whether this lack of communication came from the fact that Alfred somehow associated the man with his parents' death or resented him for trying to step in as a parent figure. He's sure he could have asked but he had always been shy about probing too deeply into others lives. He didn't want to be considered a bother.

Alfred began to kiss Matthew's neck amorously. "Mm, hey Mattie? Please say 'What are you talking about' for me."

Matthew flushed, both from Alfred's lips pressed to his throat and the request. "Not again. It's really not that funny."

"Oh please? For me?"

Matthew sighed. "What are you talking aboot?"

Alfred started cracking up, nuzzling against him. "Fucking hilarious every time!"

Matthew rolled his eyes. He had never said 'aboot' his entire life until he moved here. Now it was a damned habit from Alfred asking him to say it so much.

There was suddenly a sharp knock on the door. Arthur's strict voice carried through the wood rather clearly. "Alfred, I advise you and your... friend get dressed immediately. I have taken the liberty to call his father to discuss this... incident. He will be here within twenty minutes. That is all for now."

There was the sound of departing footsteps. Alfred groaned. "What a jerk. I'm sorry Mattie."

Matthew hid his face in his hands. "N-no! Papa can't know aboot this!"

Alfred started laughing. Matthew glared at him through his fingers. "It's not funny! You've never met my Papa! So embarrassing... I bet your dad will regret it too."

Alfred sat up, lightly running his fingers down Matthew's chest. "Well if he's going to regret this then I can't wait to meet this 'Papa' of yours."

He crawled off of him and tugged his jeans on. It amazed Matthew how often Alfred went commando. Matthew got up reluctantly and began looking for his clothes, which Alfred had thrown around the room like a hurricane. He grimaced at the fact that he didn't even have the chance to properly clean himself up. It was all he could do to hold the soul crushing feeling of humiliation at bay as he thought of the inevitable first meeting of Alfred and Papa.

~.

The slow thud of America's foot hitting the couch repeatedly was starting to get on Arthur's last nerve. He sipped his tea and pretended not to notice, knowing that Alfred was just trying to bait him. Wouldn't he have just loved it if Matthew's father came right in the middle of one of their screaming matches? So he remained silent and dignified, avoiding looking at either boy.

Matthew sat next to Alfred, self-conscious and quiet. He started to say something at various occasions, the words quickly dying before they even reached his lips. There was no way to make things less awkward really and something about the hard line of Arthur's mouth kept him from trying.

Meanwhile Alfred swung his leg back and forth, hitting the couch and looking straight ahead as if the world around him did not exist. It was sometimes unnerving to Matthew how good he was at that.

The doorbell rang, shattering the tense mood.

Without a word Arthur stood and strode to the front door, head up, back straight. As if he were about to meet the enemy in dignified combat. Matthew swallowed hard and stood, Alfred following his lead with some genuine curiosity creeping over his face.

As soon as the door opened Matthew's Papa grabbed Arthur's shoulders tightly. "Is he alright? My Matthieu? What has happened to him?"

Arthur seemed taken aback by the abrupt physical contact. "He's...Your son is fine. As you can plainly see."

He gestured with his head and Matthew waved meekly. He let out a relieved sigh and hurried over, embracing the boy tightly. "Dieu merci! Mon cœur était folle d'inquiétude sur vous!"

Face falling into a relaxed and open expression, the man turned back and held his hand out to Arthur. "I am Francis Bonnefoy, it is so enchanting to meet you sir."

Arthur took the hand as if it were a cobra. "Arthur Kirkland. A pleasure."

Francis's eyes swept over the shorter man, taking him all in quickly. His gaze was like a lover's frantic touch. "Please forgive me, but what is the emergency? I thought I may arrive to find out my dearest heart was dying or some such thing."

Arthur cleared his throat. "I...I regret to inform you that today upon returning home I walked in on something rather unpleasant. My son and your son were engaging in...intercourse sir."

Francis looked at his son with widened eyes. "Is that true Matthieu?"

Matthew nodded, not able to meet his gaze. He braced himself for what was to come. Francis threw his arms out and embraced his son, exclaiming loudly. "Oh I am so proud of you! Finally my dear boy is a man! Oh, but you have been using the proper precautions correct? Protection, lubrication-"

Arthur sputtered and Alfred laughed loudly. For the first time Francis seemed to notice him and his eyes glowed. "Oh and who is this?"

Alfred tossed his head flippantly. "Alfred F. Jones....Kirkland." The last name was added like an unpleasant garnish. "I'm the boy who's fucking your son."

Matthew just about died. "Al!"

Francis tittered. "My, what a spirited, brash young man! He must be the one you told me about Matthieu! Il est très attrayant! Qu'est-ce qu'un prix que vous avez gagné."

Matthew hid his face in his hands, wishing he could sink into the ground. "Papa! Stop please!"

Francis pat his son on the back then turned to face Alfred, lifting his chin with one finger. "I am so pleased to finally be meeting you. Matthieu has talked about you nonstop for the past few weeks and it's so nice for him to have someone for once. Ah, and you're such a lovely young man! Actually the two of you have a bit of a likeness now that I really look at you..."

Arthur, who had been in a violent state of shock, cleared his throat loudly. "I-I don't think you completely understand the gravity of this situation!"

Francis chuckled and put an arm around Arthur. "Mr. Kirkland, my good sir, I believe you overestimate the gravity of the situation! They are healthy young men exploring physical passion, not so uncommon at their age. As long as they are being safe about it then I am quite happy for the two of them. Do not be so harsh monsieur!"

Arthur gave him a look mixed between horror and disgust. "They... but they were... were... It's unacceptable! Perhaps you think nothing of such...filth, but I will not tolerate it for one! Alfred! You are never to see this boy again do you understand me?"

Francis pulled himself up, the chumminess suddenly gone. "How dare you sir? Do not speak of my son as if he is anything but the pure angel that he is! There is nothing dirty about what these two are doing if they love one another. You are the filth for assuming such lewd things! Matthieu, how about you and your friend Alfred go for a walk? I think I would like to have a few more words with Mr. Kirkland and I feel they are of the adult persuasion."

Matthew quickly grabbed Alfred's hand. "Come on..."

Alfred didn't immediately move. Matthew looked back at him and saw that he was staring at his Papa with an odd expression on his face. "Al, come on."

Alfred blinked rapidly and snorted. "I hope you talk some sense into him Papa, the prude needs it."

He grinned haughtily at the hurt look on Arthur's face before pulling Matthew from the house. "Young man get back here! Alfred Jones Kirkland, you get back here!"

Francis grabbed his shoulder. "Let us adults talk and the children have their fun, hm?"

Arthur scowled as Alfred and Matthew escaped. He could tell he didn't like the man already. And the fact that he was _French _made it all the worse.

Once the two boys closed the front door behind them Alfred burst out laughing. Matthew clutched his chest. "Well I'm glad you think it was funny! I feel like I could cry, that was so... Ugh! Papa is frustrating. And now your dad hates me..."

Alfred leaned down, still smiling. He suddenly froze and for a moment his eyes slid past Matthew to the house next door. His eyes scanned the yard, the windows. Nothing. Still... He pulled away abruptly and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Let's go for that walk, yeah?"

Matthew blinked in surprise. He had been expecting Alfred to kiss him. He followed Alfred's gaze and looked behind him at the house but there was nothing to see. Just a normal house on a normal street in a normal suburb. Perhaps the sunflowers gave it a splash of color utterly unique to the surrounding yards but he couldn't see anything worth looking at. Oh, but perhaps Al had been looking at something else?

He quickly ran up to the rapidly retreating figure of Alfred. "W-wait! Don't walk so fast."

After the two have gone a ways Alfred suddenly pulled him close, arm firmly around his waist. "That was a hoot. Papa is something else. Wish I could have listened in on their conversation. I bet Arthur's jaw has dropped a mile by now."

Matthew sighed leaning into Alfred. "I just hope I'm allowed to see you after he's done his damage."

Alfred snorted. "Nah, if anything I'm sure Papa will talk some sense into him."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. It was weird how the boy who refused to call his guardian of ten years Dad was calling a complete stranger Papa. "I don't know..."

Alfred shook his head. "Trust me Mattie. Don't worry. Even if he forbids me from seeing you I'll totally not listen to him. No one is taking you away from me, especially not that bastard. He doesn't give a shit about me, he can't tell me who I can be with."

That can't be true. Arthur obviously cared about him even if he was a bit brisk about it. That's what Matthew thought anyway. Why was Alfred so convinced otherwise? Teen angst? That seemed a little shallow and out of character for Alfred. Still, there were a lot of rumors about him... He had a bit of a reputation as a delinquent, a partier, a slut (which Matthew desperately hoped wasn't true), among other things.

Suddenly Alfred pulled him closer. "What are you thinking about Mattie? Or should I say aboot?"

Matthew rolled his eyes as Alfred snickered. "I was...I was just thinking aboot you." He really had to get out of that habit, it made him sound ridiculous.

"Oh...? Mm..." Alfred's eyes suddenly lit up. "Really? I like that. I like that a lot. Think about me more. In fact, think about me all the time. Think about me until those thoughts fill the sky and I drowned in all of them. I would like that. It will distract me."

Sometimes Alfred said the weirdest things. "Distract you from what Al?"

Alfred looked away. "Mm... Lots of things. Other thoughts about me that I don't like so much."

"I really just don't get you sometimes."

Alfred grinned. "That's okay. It's alright so long as you try, you know? Please try. Don't give up."

Matthew was about to assure him that he had no intention of giving up on Alfred when the other pressed him into a deep kiss right there on the sidewalk. Matthew leaned against Alfred, falling into the kiss. Nothing else mattered.

~.

Arthur scowled at the man in front of him. "Look, I don't care if you let your son be...loose with his sexuality and do as he pleases but I absolutely will not tolerate such things under my roof."

Francis frowned sharply. "I will have you know my son is a regular angel! He has always had top grades, never been in trouble, and I can assure you that your Alfred is the first significant other he has ever had. He's a quiet, sweet boy and has never associated with a bad crowd. I will not tolerate you saying one bad word against him. Most parents would kill themselves for a son as wonderful as my Matthieu. I don't know how I got him. I've been a regular cad my entire life. I'm convinced he was put in my care to teach me to look at the world in a better light. And his sister to teach me empathy and gentleness."

"I don't need a life story. This pertains to a single issue. You don't seem to understand-"

Francis cut in. "No, you are the one who doesn't seem to understand. It has everything to do with it. Besides I like talking about myself. So whether you want me to or not I'm going to weave a lovely story for you about myself and you are going to listen. Make yourself comfortable."

Arthur narrowed his eyes and sat, sipping his now cold tea. The sooner the wanker gave his spiel and left the better.

Francis sat and cleared his throat. "I was a wild youth, I must say. I was very open with my sexual exploits. Men, women, didn't matter. And I was more than willing to experiment."

"I really do not wish to hear the sordid details of your past as a slut. Unless this is leading up to explaining your son's behavior."

Francis gave him an icy look. "Monsieur, if you make one more comment about my son that paints him as anything but a prince I will strike you."

Arthur was silent with fury.

"As I was saying, I did not take care with my exploits and it finally came back to bite me. I impregnated a young woman who simply could not keep the child. She dumped said child on me. Needless to say I was livid...And then I fell madly in love. My dearest Matthieu. He completely saved me from myself. Not all at once. I ended up having a second illegitimate child with another woman who has also inexplicably ended up in my poor custody, my sweet Angelique. And I most certainly am not married now. Still, we make up a decent family and both of my children are the most darling creatures that have ever blessed this earth. I know how difficult it is as a single parent. You are a single father are you not? Well, guardian. Matthieu said something about it at one point."

"I am his father," Arthur spat. "Blood relative or not I care for him as if he were my son."

Francis put his hands up. "Oui, oui, I understand the sentiment perfectly clear. Please Arthur, as a parent you understand then, the desire to see our children happy. Matthieu has never had many friends. He was so lonely when we lived in Montreal. Moving down here has done him so much good. He's just come alive lately and it's all thanks to your son. He adores him Arthur! Don't take that away from him."

Arthur sighed. "It's indecent..."

"It is no such thing! They obviously care for one another. And is there anything wrong if it's a committed relationship? At least we know they won't get the other knocked up, eh?"

"That's not funny!" Arthur narrowed his eyes. "This doesn't sit right with me."

Francis waved his hand dismissively. "You're too stiff. I promise, my son is a darling. You'll fall in love with him too!"

Arthur wiped his face. "Then maybe they should stop seeing one another for his sake. Alfred is a difficult child. He is this close from going to a reform center. He stays out late, goes to wild parties, drinks, I suspect he at least does pot, and...I hate to admit it but he's been quite promiscuous in the past. I forced him to get tested recently. Thank god he was clean but I've been pressuring him to kick his habits. He will be graduating this year and if it's still a problem when he goes to college...I can't even imagine what a nightmare that will be! And he never talks to me. It drives me insane. He defies me at every single turn."

Francis put a hand on Arthur's shoulder, rubbing it lightly. "Trust me, I know how hard it can be. I sympathize. I was quite similar when I was young. I can try to talk to him, perhaps he will relate more to me."

Arthur gave him an all but hateful look. "I'm sure that isn't necessary, thanks."

Francis shrugged. "Alright, alright. But trust me, Matthieu will be nothing but a good influence on him. He's a sweet, loving boy. There is no way he won't heal your Alfred."

Arthur made a sour face. "Well... I suppose they may continue to spend time together...But I do not want you to encourage either of them to have sex! Tell your son to restrain himself and I will do likewise if you don't mind."

"Oh, oui, I will..." The smirk on his lips told a different story. "So, now that we have that out of the way, tell me about yourself. What do you do?"

"...I work with the police department."

Francis raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Magnifique! I do love a man in uniform! Must be terribly exciting."

Arthur gave him a disgusted look. "I have a desk job. I used to be out on patrol but I did my best to get an inside job when Alfred came into my life. The last thing he needed was another person ripped away from him."

"That's rather sweet Arthur. How did his parents die? If you don't mind my asking."

Why was he even talking to this man? "It was a nasty car crash. I was a very good friend to both of them. I can't think of two people who deserved it less. Damned drunk drivers...Bloody hell. It was too soon. Too horrible a way for people like them."

Francis nodded, face properly sympathetic. It put Arthur less on the defense. "To be honest I never expected to have my duties as godfather called upon when I agreed to it. I wish I hadn't had to. But I took it quite seriously. I was determined to raise him to the best of my ability, as if he were my own son. I wanted him to be a child they could be proud of. And it seems I've failed in every way possible. I suppose I wasn't meant to be a father."

Francis grinned. "That's not true, you haven't completely failed. He is with my Matthieu. He is well on his way to the right track."

Arthur couldn't help but chuckle. This man was something else. While he found him horribly grating, he also felt he could be as open as he wished with him. "Would you care for a scone Francis? I baked them myself."

Not knowing it would be the most god-awful thing to ever cross his lips, he agreed. "I'm a chef myself. I always enjoy tasting other's creations."

"A chef huh? How fitting. Well I can't promise much, I'm an amateur at cooking."

"I'm sure it will be fine. As long as I'm waiting for Matthieu to circle back around I would be happy to sample it."

They headed towards the kitchen. Arthur was still horribly disturbed by the image of what he had walked in on but Francis had reassured him somewhat. Star-struck parent or not, there had to be some truth to what he said. He could only hope this boy would indeed be a good influence on Alfred. He was at a loss on what to do. The boy was slipping through his fingers more and more each day and there were nights he awoke in the shadow hours before dawn, quietly terrified that he might have already lost him.

* * *

Translations:

Dieu merci! Mon cœur était folle d'inquiétude sur vous - Thank god! I was worried sick about you

Il est très attrayant! Qu'est-ce qu'un prix que vous avez gagné - He is very attractive! What a prize you have won

Magnifique – Magnificent

**AN: **So if you didn't pick up on it, Matthew and Alfred are 17 and in their last year of high school. Definitely not siblings -laughs- Francis's daughter Angelique is Seychelles. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love the opening scene of this story.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there~ So I've decided that this story is going to jump around from the main story to the past at random times. The past will be distinguished by being in italics. I'm being experimental with this -laughs- Well... I'll be off doing homework for the next week or so -dies-

* * *

The place Alfred had lived for the past six years was known for its diversity. Not widely known or anything, but it was a curiosity how varied the inhabitants of that one little suburb were. Though Alfred only concerned himself with the houses and neighbors that directly surrounded his home.

Alfred was the only native born American for quite a few houses in any direction, his parents both originally being U.S. citizens. He had lived in England for a year with them and then four more with Arthur, his Englishman of a guardian. The decision to move to the States had seemed rather sudden. One day Arthur had told Alfred they were going to move and a month later it happened. Arthur thought it might be easier on him as he got older. God knew where his reasoning came in.

On their right was his friend Kiku, a quiet but quirky home-schooled Japanese boy. His mother, a Japanese widow, had married a second husband who was Chinese. She had died when he was still young and the man had married a woman who was Taiwanese or something. So there was that whole Asian fiesta going on next door. The two of them had been friends since almost the day Alfred had discovered him next door. It had taken him a while but he had weaseled his way into Kiku's confidence. His father Yao didn't much care for him but his over-indulgent step-mother Mei was always sweet as could be.

Across from Kiku were these two German brothers. The older one, Gilbert, was really loud, crazy, and a pretty fun guy most of the time. He was also albino which was really fucking cool in Alfred's book. The younger one Ludwig—who was much taller than his brother—was also loud but in an angry way, reserved, and cranky as hell. But he was a damn good mechanic. Alfred had managed to weasel his way into their home as well, becoming friends with Gil and being an accepted presence by Ludwig, which actually seemed to be a huge accomplishment. Ludwig taught him how to fix up cars and Gil told him all sorts of crazy shit about BDSM. Both brothers were really into it.

Directly across from Alfred was this weird couple. The wife was admittedly pretty hot. Arthur said she was Hungarian. It took Alfred three years before he realized he hadn't been saying she was 'hungry'. However, if one wandered too close to the house and tried to play harmless pranks she flew into a rage, wielding a frying pan. She also couldn't stand Gilbert. Her husband had been some hot shot artsy musician from Austria named Roderich. Even being married to Elizabeta, Alfred was half-convinced the guy was a fag. Just the way he dressed, talked, and acted. The sound of the violin or piano could be heard from their house at all sorts of obscure hours of the day and night.

Next to this odd couple was a set of Italian siblings that looked like twins but weren't. They made damn good food. Their roommate Antonio was a guy from Spain who Alfred didn't particularly care for. There was a lot of yelling that came from that house. Alfred liked Feliciano, the younger brother. He was always really nice and shared tasty food with him, and Alfred generally liked people who fed him. Damn he was a crybaby though. His older brother Romano was a loud angry bastard. Guy needed anger management or something. They hadn't been around very long so Alfred hadn't figured out a lot about them yet.

Then there was their neighbor on the left. The house that Alfred's room faced. Ivan Braginiski, a 'communist bastard' according to Arthur. He had been warned to stay away from Ivan ever since he was young. A tall man, quiet, forever smiling. He loved sunflowers.

Alfred could write pages upon pages, books upon books, universes upon universes about Ivan. His thoughts and actions and words.

Not that anyone knew that.

Not that anyone thought to ask.

~.

"Hey Mr. Wang, can I talk to Kiku?" As always it took all of Alfred's willpower not to laugh at the last name as he gave it the hard American 'a' instead of the proper soft one.

Yao stared warily at the boy in the doorway. He did not care much for his association with his son but was resigned to its inevitability at that point. "Yes, he's upstairs in his room. Please come in."

As he stepped aside Alfred entered. Their house was decorated beautifully and what Alfred considered exotically. Everyone in the family was really into that feng shui thing and the house reflected it. Admittedly there was a soothing presence about the place. He felt like being there was the closest he'd ever get to experiencing the Orient.

Alfred smiled at Yao. "Tell Mei I say hello."

A tightening of the jaw. Could just be that he hated his informality as always. Or they could be fighting again. It seemed they fought all the time. Not that he ever saw them doing it but Kiku told him all about the fights and of course the silences that said more than screaming and cursing.

He made his way up the stairs taking them two at a time and stopped outside of Kiku's room. He could hear muffled J-pop coming from the other side. He knocked hard to make sure he was heard. The music cut off suddenly. "Who is there please?"

"It's me Kiku, let me in or I'll huff and puff and blow your door down!"

The sound of padded footsteps then a quiet click as the door creaked open. "Hello. Please, come in Alfred-kun."

Alfred squeezed in and Kiku shut the door firmly behind him. He was wearing his kendo uniform. "Oh damn, you have practice today don't you? I wanted to hang out and get away from Arthur."

"Hai, I am sorry. Perhaps we can spend time together tomorrow?"

Alfred collapsed on his bed. "Mm, I don't know, it depends on if I'm hanging out with Mattie or not."

"I see."

Kiku sat back in front of his desk filled with the most up-to-date computer equipment. Alfred envied it with all his heart. His room in general was a clash of modern and traditional Japanese culture mixed with some more Western influences. Most of it was a familiar sight to Alfred, though he could never quite get over the baseball posters that just seemed so out of place with everything else. Even if Kiku did play baseball.

America rolled over onto his side to look at his friend. "So what's up Kiku? Are the parental units fighting again?"

He nodded, frowning slightly. "Hai... But it seems they always are so what is new?"

Kiku had little love for his step-father, giving him only the respect obliged towards a parental figure and an adult. He was fond of Mei but disliked her attempt to slip into a motherly role. He had had a mother and then she died. As far as he was concerned that was that. Kiku and Alfred had actually bonded quite a lot over conversations about their resentment towards these false parents that sometimes lasted deep into the night. Kiku was not very open and was rarely honest about how he really felt on things. This was one of the few places he opened up. Alfred had accepted long ago that Kiku was not the one he could completely confide in. However, their understanding of one another on that particular issue sealed their fate as confidential friends.

Alfred stretched leisurely, like a cat. "So what are they fighting about now?"

Kiku watched him carefully. "Mei-san is angry at Yao-san because he forgot to pick me up from kendo practice which made me late for my shamisen lesson."

And to think he said that all with a straight face. Alfred didn't have any extra activities of any kind so to him it was ludicrous that Kiku had so many. While he was home-schooled he was technically attending online college half the time. On top of that he practiced kendo, baseball when it was the proper season, and took lessons in art and some crazy instrument called the shamisen. Alfred would scream if he had so much to do. And the really annoying thing was that Kiku was a prodigy at most things he tried.

"Think it will last long?"

Kiku shrugged. "It hardly matters to me what those people do."

"Mmm." Kiku turned to his computer as if he were alone and Alfred stared at the ceiling.

Really he had decided that most of Kiku's issues stemmed from a mixture of two things:

First, there was Yao who felt guilty about outliving Kiku's mother. He wanted to make sure he gave Kiku every and all opportunities so that he would never feel like he had failed his deceased wife. To prove something Alfred supposed. And yet he never really got very close to his step-son—partially Kiku's fault—and so while he did much for him he wasn't particularly there for him.

Second, there was Mei who was over eager to play her role as step-mother while trying to prove she wasn't a nasty person. She spoiled Kiku, often playing devil's advocate for him even when he was in the wrong. Especially when he was in a fight with Yao.

Together these resulted in the quiet, emotionally distant boy being slightly spoiled and the biggest over-achiever Alfred had ever met. But he never rubbed it in anyone's face even though he really could have. Alfred liked that about him.

After some time crawled by Alfred picked up the conversation as if it had never stopped. "So what were you doing before I dropped in on you?"

"Watching hentai." Blunt, straight face, no joke. Kiku was the kind of guy who could tell you he was watching porn like it was nothing so long as he knew you well enough and Alfred liked him for that too.

He sat up, vaguely interested. "Anything good?"

"Not particularly. Most of it is pretty boring. I watch out of habit I think."

Alfred laughed. Such a weird person. "Maybe you should try real porn sometime."

"I have no interest. Have you ever heard of Vocaloids Alfred?"

"Hn? Nah, what are those?"

Kiku launched into an explanation. It was actually pretty interesting, the idea of computerized pop stars. As Alfred listened his eyes wandered. Sitting above Kiku's bed was a small shelf. In the center was a picture of his mother looking away from the camera demurely. She had been a very beautiful woman. In a lot of ways Kiku resembled her. An incense burner sat in front of the picture. The sheer amount of ash marked how diligently he lit sticks for her. However, he had seen that picture thousands of times. What really caught his attention were two new pictures off to either side of it. Alfred grabbed them and interrupted Kiku.

"Hey what's up with these pictures? Who is this?"

He held up a shot of an attractive boy, probably a year or two older than them. He had brown shoulder length hair and sleepy green eyes.

"That is Heracles. I met him at the art class I am taking on Saturday afternoons. We had a fascinating discussion on Ancient Greek architecture. He is my boyfriend."

Alfred's eyebrows shot up. That was too hilarious for words. "Oh yeah? Shit! You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend! How could you hold out on me?"

Kiku tilted his head. "It did not seem particularly important and I have not seen you as frequently as of late."

Alfred grinned. "Fair enough, fair enough. Okay, so what about this guy?"

He held up the second photograph of another attractive guy that looked like an older college student. Olive skin, flashy smile, stubble on his chin.

"That is Sadiq. My music instructor is teaching him how to play the sitar. His lessons take place right before mine and he happened to listen in on part of my lesson. He was very interested and stuck around until I was done and we discussed music and the instruments we are learning. He is also my boyfriend."

Oh that was too rich. Alfred cackled, looking at both of them. "Oh man, you player you! Where is this coming from? Far as I can tell you've never been so outgoing before... Oh god, do they know about each other?"

Kiku scoffed at the very idea. "No, of course not."

Alfred shook his head, all sorts of amused. "Damn. Better hope they never do. Okay, okay, so what am I?"

Kiku gave him an appraising look. "My mistress."

He buried his face in Kiku's pillow and laughed until he calmed himself. "Your mistress huh? I am pretty flattered, I have to admit."

"I will always have a special place for my first..." The words seemed to evoke a flicker of emotion—shyness—for the first time.

"...Thanks Kiku. That means a lot. You're my waterlily of the night."

Kiku rolled his eyes and turned away to hide how flustered the words made him.

Still, that was big news. Alfred would be interrogating him to death in the near future. Not that it surprised him that Kiku had finally come to such a precarious love triangle. He just hadn't expected two men what with how rigid he could be, though. Alfred didn't really count himself in all of that. Their relationship was an experimentation of youth, loneliness, and the art of forgetting with another human being.

He knew that between the mess of Kiku losing both parents at a young age and his step-father's disastrous second marriage, Kiku had decided he had no interest in marriage or even having a strong pull towards heterosexual relationships. Kiku did watch a lot of straight anime porn but then again he probably had never talked to a woman who wasn't his mother or a teacher in his whole life. At the same time Kiku had once said he would probably go through an arranged marriage and settle down for nothing more than tradition's sake, to please his mother's spirit. Alfred wondered how these boyfriends fit into the scheme of that plan... Another thing to dive into at a later time.

"If Yao and Mei found out they would have a heart attack. This is so epic." And then he wondered if Kiku might be doing this in part because it _would_ kill them.

"It is my affair, not theirs. But I will be keeping both relationships discreet."

Alfred replaced the photos. "Probably for the best. God I can't wait to pick your brain about these two."

"Alfred-kun is so nosy. I will never understand your deep interest in other people. Though speaking of being nosy, I was thinking I would like to meet your boyfriend. I am very curious about the one who has kept you on the straight and narrow for the past couple of months."

"Mattie? Yeah sure. Hell, I don't know why I haven't introduced you guys sooner! I bet you'll like each other a lot. If he comes over tomorrow I'll just bring him here and we'll hang out together."

Kiku nodded. "I would like that. I only have ten minutes before I have to go. Thank you for visiting."

Alfred stood, grinning at him. "Anytime. You're always a blast. Hopefully I'll bring Mattie around tomorrow. Good luck at practice. Try not to fall in love with someone else!"

Kiku gave him a deadpan stare and simply waved. Alfred winked and let himself out. He rushed recklessly down the stairs and back through the front door.

~.

_Matthew met Alfred not quite a month into the first trimester of Senior year in his new American high school. It occurred to him that it might have been rather difficult trying to adjust to a completely new school his last year of high school without friends to support him... but he hadn't really had many where he came from anyway. It hadn't felt like much of a difference those first few weeks. Matthew just had a way of blending into the wall. Unfortunately, his wish to be noticed had been answered in the worst possible way one day between class and lunch. _

_Matthew stood in front of his locker, minding his own business and trying to think of an inconspicuous place he could eat without looking like a forlorn loser without friends. That's when the tap on his shoulder came. _

_The contact made him jump and he turned with wide eyes. "Y-yes?" _

"_Yo, Jones, or Kirkland, or whatever the fuck your name is. Do I need to break your fucking face?" _

_Matthew's eyes widened further in alarm. "Wh-what? I...I have no idea-"_

_The boy, who was not only taller than him but had twice the muscle, grabbed his collar and slammed him against the locker. Matt cried out in shock and pain. "Bullshit! My sister told me about how you cozied up to her then dumped her like she was yesterday's leftovers! You think you can disrespect her like that and get away with it? Might as well confess, 'cause when I'm done with you you're going to be dead meat, you piece of shit." _

_Panic swelled in Matthew's chest. A crowd was forming but it looked like they were all spectators. Not a soul stepped forward to help him. He squirmed in the grasp of the offended brother. "B-but I'm not... I have no idea what you're-"_

_He was slammed against the locker again. "Eh? Speak up fucker, I can't hear you!" _

"_Please, there's been a misunderstanding!" _

"_Oh there's been a misunderstanding alright. You think you can walk around like you're the big fucking cock on campus doing whatever you damned well like. We'll see if you feel the same way once I break your nose!" _

_Fear nearly paralyzed Matthew and he felt weak. "B-but I... My name isn't even Jones!"_

_A voice cut through the murmur of the crowd. "Damn right it's not, because that would be me. Yo, asshat, if you're going to stir shit at least get the right guy." _

_Matt's tormentor turned and faced someone who had just pushed his way through the onlookers. Those near him hastily stepped away as they realized the conflict was heading in their direction. "I assume you're looking for Alfred Jones right? That's me, not that poor guy you have up against the locker. It pisses me off when I see guys like you tormenting people just because you can. Got a bone to pick with me, then let him go and start picking." _

_The next thing Matthew knew the hand had released him and he was once again blessedly out of the spotlight. For a moment he watched, stunned, as the two started circling each other slowly. "My sister Mary told me about how you treated her at that party last weekend Jones. Who the fuck do you think you are?" _

"_I think I'm Alfred "Fucking" Jones and if I am correctly remembering who your sister is she's full of shit. I wouldn't touch that cow with a ten foot pole!" _

"_Why you-!"_

_Matthew gasped as the boy lunged at Alfred, who quickly sidestepped him. It seemed inevitable that the two would come to blows when a voice cried out, "Teacher's coming!" _

_The students scattered like cockroaches in the light. The boy scowled furiously at Alfred. "We're going to settle this later. You just watch your back Jones." _

_Alfred smiled cockily. "Will do." _

_Looking like he might hit him anyway, the incensed brother finally trudged off looking livid. A moment later a teacher walked through, unaware of the events that had almost occurred. _

_Matthew took a shaky step forward. "U-um, th-thank you very much."_

_Alfred turned and the smile immediately slipped. He stared at Matthew with a dumbfounded look on his face. Even Matthew gave a bit of a start. Suddenly it made sense how the two of them had been mistaken. Upon first glance Alfred looked like a shorter haired version of himself. As he continued to look though a thousand little differences came to his attention and the eerie feeling started to ease away. "I...er, are you alright?"_

_Alfred blinked rapidly and a smile reappeared, this one a great deal friendlier than the one before it. "Yeah just... Wow. I don't think we've ever met. I'm Alfred F. Jones...Kirkland." _

_He held his hand out and Matthew took it shyly. Alfred gave it a firm shake and Matthew almost laughed. It seemed so... strange, unexpected. "Ah, n-no we wouldn't have met. I just started this year. M-my name is Matthew Williams er, Bonnefoy." _

_The hesitation of his official last name seemed to catch Alfred's attention and his eyes sparkled. "Great to meet you. Sorry about that whole mess. Hope you aren't hurt or anything. What a dick, seriously. Besides, I have no idea how he could have mistaken you for me. You're much cuter." _

_Matthew's face burned bright red and Alfred chuckled. "Do you want to eat lunch together? Or I suppose you have people to hang out with..."_

"_N-no! Um, that is to say..." How embarrassing, he didn't want to sound over-eager like a lovesick doe. "I...wouldn't mind eating lunch with you." _

_Alfred's grin widened. "Great! I can already tell, Matthew- Hm, too formal. I'm going to call you Matt. Or wait... Mattie? Yeah, Mattie, I like that. I can already tell the two of us are going to be very close." _

_Matthew stared at this boy, brimming with self-confidence, and was immediately star-struck. He quietly admitted to himself later that he had probably fallen hard for Alfred right then and there. But in that moment it only registered as being extremely flustered. "I, uh, that is to say... I hope so." _

_He smiled timidly and Alfred grabbed his arm. "Definitely! Come on Mattie, I don't know about you but I am starving." _

_And so a case of mistaken identity triggered the events that would eventually lead to the lives of the two becoming intimately intertwined. _

_

* * *

_**AN: **Let's see, Mei is Taiwan, Sadiq is Turkey, Heracles is Greece. I think everyone else should be obvious? I hope so -laughs- The older brother and his sister aren't based on anyone.

A shamisen is a three stringed instrument. Geishas are often shown playing them in movies.


	3. Chapter 3

Hm, let's see... I don't have much to say about this chapter. Although it mentions ramune, a Japanese drink that comes in a bottle. The way you open it is kind of strange as you use a special lid to pop down a marble that blocks the top. The first time I had one I was so confused -laughs- They are very tasty though.

* * *

_The two boys sat beneath a shaded tree, munching carelessly on their respective lunches. Alfred couldn't help but eye Matthew's. "Your mom must really like you. Everything you've taken out so far looks homemade. So lucky. Way better than the crap I have to make myself. If Arthur made my lunch I'd die for sure." _

_Matthew blushed. "A-actually my mother... I don't live with her. In fact I grew up not really knowing her. My Papa is a chef though so he cooks really well. He still insists on making lunch for my sister and I. It's a little embarrassing at my age." _

_Alfred tilted his head. "Why do you think that's embarrassing?"_

_The question took Matthew off guard. "H-huh? Well... I mean, I could... could be buying a lunch or making one myself..." _

"_I don't know, I think it's cool he does that for you. You should be pleased he shows he cares so much." Alfred smiled at him and then his expression soured. "Arthur, he's my adoptive father is all, so I think that's really great actually. My parents died when I was a kid. I hate him. I hate everything about him and he doesn't give a shit about me either. I bet he regretted taking me in." _

_Matthew was once more shocked. Partially at how freely Alfred was giving the information but also because of the venom in his voice towards the man. He opened his mouth to ask him about it when Alfred's expression became sunny once more. "So you have a sister?" _

"_Eh? O-oh oui... yes. Angelique. She's thirteen. We, um, have different mothers." Matthew became flustered. What was he doing? That wasn't the sort of thing one revealed about oneself on a first meeting. _

_But Alfred didn't seem put off, didn't seem to think he was weird for mentioning it. He started asking questions. How did he feel about that? How did Angelique feel about that? How had their 'Papa' helped them cope? Matthew found himself spilling his life story to Alfred. Even a few of his private feelings or secrets he had never shared with anyone. Even when the bell rang the two remained beneath the tree. _

_Usually Matthew would never have opened himself up so openly to a stranger. There was just something undeniably welcoming about Alfred. Something that begged to be confided in. Few people had ever seemed to care so much, to listen so intently to what he had to say. Like being the center of the world... It was a new experience for Matthew, talking about himself. And Alfred had a way of probing into someone in a way that was piercing while being unobtrusive. _

_Next thing he knew school was over and they were still beneath that tree, Alfred hanging on to his every word. He cleared his throat. It was getting hoarse. That had never happened before. "I...I think I have to get going now. Please...I would like to...to hang out with you again. If that's okay that is!"_

_Alfred grinned at him and touched his shoulder. "Of course. Even if you didn't want to it would have happened."_

_He laughed and Matthew smiled sheepishly.  
_

_"Mattie? Will you do me one thing?" Matthew nodded, wondering what it could be. "...Please say 'what are you talking about'." _

_There was a pause as Matthew tried to determine if he had heard correctly. "...What are you talking about?" _

_Alfred shook his head. "No, no! The Canadian way! Y'know... aboot?" _

_Matthew looked at him in disbelief. "That is such a stereotype! That's like saying all American's say y'all or something." _

_Alfred looked at him like a kicked puppy. Matthew flushed and looked at the ground. With a sigh he muttered, "What are you talking a-aboot." _

_One would think Matthew had said the single most hilarious thing in the universe the way Alfred began laughing, like he would never stop. At first he was bewildered, then slightly offended, and finally Matthew couldn't help but laugh too. The two clung to each other, cackling like maniacs with tears in their eyes. They were completely oblivious to the people walking by that give them odd looks. _

_Finally, when they could no longer breathe and the laughter had turned to a dull ache, they calmed and grinned wildly at one another. Matthew had no idea why but it felt like they had just shared something very special. The laughter... it had weight, though why he wasn't sure. It wasn't like it was that funny. _

_Still grinning, Alfred suddenly leaned in and kissed Matthew softly on the lips. Heat flushed through the Canadian's entire body. Before he could react Alfred was on his feet, holding a hand out for him. "Ya gotta go right?" _

_Matthew stared at him, dumbfounded. "Uh...um..." _

_Alfred cocked his head to one side. "Did that bother you?" _

_Matthew can't quite meet his gaze. "N-no not... not necessarily. I just... didn't expect..." _

"_So give me your hand." Alfred pushed it towards him again._

_Reaching out hesitantly, Matthew extended his hand. Alfred took it firmly and helped lift him onto his feet. He pat him cheerfully. "I'm really glad we met Mattie. I'll see ya tomorrow. And just so you know, no worries about anything you told me. It'll all be held in the strictest of confidence. No one is better at keeping secrets than me." _

"_Um...A-alright." He hadn't really been worried at all. It hadn't even occurred to him to be worried. "B-but I'm glad we met too. Um... s-see you tomorrow." _

_He blushed with pleasure. He had made a friend. Alfred flashed him a bright smile and he returned a meeker one. _

_Still, as they waved goodbye and parted ways Matthew felt like he was walking on air. Like he could burst from happiness._

_And as for Alfred, he walked home in thoughtfulness, whispering a silent prayer he had no faith in. _

~.

That time when Alfred knocked on the door it was Mei who answered, friendly as can be. She was all smiles as she invited Alfred and Matthew into the house.

"Hello Alfred, so good to see you again! And this must be the other friend Kiku spoke of?" Her gaze flicked rapidly from Alfred's face to Matthew's and back but did not comment. Matthew was still getting used to it.

"Yep, this is my good friend Matthew. Matthew, this is Mei, Kiku's step-mother." Matthew could see the tiny wince at the word 'step-mother' but she carried it gracefully.

"It is so good to meet you Matthew." She directed her smile at him, eyes lowered slightly.

"O-oh yes, very nice to meet you too!"

"Go on up, Kiku is waiting for you. It's nice to see him making so many friends lately." She looked so happy Alfred managed to hold in his snort of amusement. Yes, Kiku and all his lovely new "friends".

"Thanks a lot Mei! Come on Mattie." He took Matthew's hand and started to tug him up the stairs. When they reached Kiku's room he knocked sharply on the door. Matthew winced wondering why everything Alfred did was so intense.

"Hai, come in," was the soft response.

Grinning at him Alfred tugged Matthew though the door. Matthew looked around in fascination. He had never seen a room like this before... His attention was quickly drawn to the pale, dark haired boy before him. Dark eyes, nearly black, appraised him coolly.

Alfred beamed between them. When the boy cleared his throat Alfred snapped his fingers. "Right, right. Mattie, this is Kiku. Kiku, this is Matthew....Do you seriously want to know his last name? It's really not necessary."

Kiku gave him a look that indicated it was. Rolling his eyes, Alfred shrugged. "Okay, um, do you prefer to go by Williams or Bonnefoy Mattie?"

Matthew felt uncomfortable under Kiku's expectant gaze that did not quite dare meet his eyes. "Err um, I don't know... Why?"

Kiku spoke in a soothing, soft voice. "If it does not matter I will simply call you Williams-san. It is easier to pronounce than French. If that is alright with you of course."

He bowed his head slightly and Matthew flushed. "U-uh... n-no that's fine...?"

Kiku looked at him again. "I am very pleased to make your acquaintance at last Williams-san."

Alfred groaned. "You could at least call him Matthew-san. It sounds stupid when you say his last name."

Kiku ignored him and tilted his head. "Alfred-kun... you are a shameless narcissist."

Alfred burst into laughter. "Oh come on, that's rude. What do ya mean, Mattie and me barely look anything alike if you'd freakin' use your eyes and not just let them wander around like butterflies."

Alfred went to the small boy's side and threw an arm around him, poking his cheek. "One time I forced him to stare at me for like, god, thirty minutes? Just staring. It was awkward as hell but now he'll actually look at me half the time when we're alone together. Won't you Kiku?"

Matthew felt as uncomfortable as Kiku looked. Alfred glanced up at him, a questioning smile on his face. "Have you ever stared at someone just for the sake of looking?"

Matthew shook his head. Ever once and a while he found himself watching Alfred but... not for longer than a few seconds at a time, maybe half a minute. He couldn't imagine staring for thirty minutes. Alfred looked at one of the ludicrous baseball posters. "You never get used to it."

Kiku made a soft sound. "Perhaps because we were not meant to look at each other so intimately."

Alfred lightly pinched his cheek. "Oooh that's deep Kiku. I like that."

Matthew wished Alfred would take his arm away from Kiku's shoulders. "Alfred-kun, I think that is quite enough."

"Hey, have you never looked deep into the eyes of your boyfriends? It's cool if Mattie knows, right? I mean, if not I won't talk about it."

Kiku blushed, and while he seemed exasperated, did not look offended. "So long as he does not talk about it to anyone else. He is your boyfriend after all and thus I shall trust him."

Alfred gave Matthew a grin as if the two were conspirators in on something. He felt utterly lost. "Ol' Kiku here has himself two boyfriends. Their pictures are on the self next to honorable Okasan."

Matthew looked at the mild boy in surprise. How had he gotten two boyfriends? No, not that he wasn't pretty and perhaps he could be very nice but... He seemed so... traditional. "Um..."

He looked at the shelf, more out of a nervous attempt at politeness than anything. Both the boys were handsome and seemed to have a certain friendliness to them. Matthew's eyes slid to the arm around Kiku's shoulders and he couldn't help but think Alfred would fit in among them easily. He shook the thought from his head. "U-uh, I see. That's..."

As he floundered to find a closer for his sentence he was saved by a gentle knock on the door. "Kiku, I brought you and your friends drinks. May I please come in?"

Alfred slid his arm from Kiku's shoulder and sat on the bed. Kiku wore a look of vague tolerance. "Hai, come in Mei-san."

She opened the door, carefully balancing a tray on one arm. Matthew was quick to go forward to help her, taking the tray with three glass bottles on it. "O-oh! Thank you very much. Um, can I get the three of you anything? Are you hungry? There are some leftovers from last night, or snacks, or I can cook something if you'd like."

Kiku smiled distantly. "Thank you very much Mei-san, that is not necessary."

She gave everyone an awkward but cheerful smile. "Right. Well don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything!"

Mei let herself out. Matthew looked down at the three bottles. They had a strange shape to them. He'd never seen anything like it. Kiku stood and glanced over them. "...Alfred-kun, do you want the strawberry?"

Alfred sat up straighter on the bed. "What flavors are there?"

"Strawberry, Peach, and just normal Ramune."

"Yeah, I'll take the strawberry. Unless you want it Mattie? What flavor do you like?"

Matthew looked at the foreign drinks. It seemed Alfred wanted the strawberry so he wouldn't take it and he had no idea what 'normal' Ramune tasted like (let alone what it even was). "I...I guess I like peach?"

Japan nodded and took two of the bottles away. "You may set the tray down."

Matthew looked around then placed it on the first empty surface he found. Then he stared at the drink. How... was he supposed to open it?

"Hey, come sit next to me Mattie! I bet you've never dealt with one of these before! I was so confused the first time Kiku gave me one. I'll show you." Alfred pat the bed next to him. Matthew gratefully took a place next to him and copied his instructions. He had never gone through so much trouble to open a drink but it was kind of fun. And it was actually easier than twisting a cap off. "Make sure to drink with the bottle turned this way. See how there's a marble in the top part? That keeps it from spilling all the way out. Though I wouldn't advice testing it. The results are iffy."

Japan slid his gaze over to the two of them. "I would prefer not to have an incident like last time."

Alfred shrugged good-naturedly. "I said I was sorry. You're the one who didn't say it wouldn't work very well!"

"Hmmm."

Alfred turned to Kiku. "By the way, you never answered my question about gazing into the eyes of your lovers."

Kiku glanced at Matthew, cheeks rouged with a blush. He indicated for Alfred to lean over and he whispered into his ear. Matthew drank the ramune, pretending not to be feeling left out. The drink was sweet. As Alfred chuckled beside him Matthew glanced around the room as if he were more interested in that. He didn't want to look at them. It wasn't just that he was jealous of their obvious closeness—Alfred had told them how long they had been friends which made their own time together seem pitiful—he was also unhappy to see Alfred paying such close attention to someone else. Up until now Matthew had only really seen Alfred use that expression of total attention on him, the one that suggested the speaker was the only one in all the world who mattered. It was probably because he was selfish but he didn't like seeing it turned on someone else.

Alfred finally leaned away from Kiku and slipped an arm around Matthew. It sent a pleased shiver down the Canadian's back. "Don't let Kiku's proper act fool you Mattie. Kiku is a total pervert. He's just shy around people he doesn't know."

Kiku protested. "Alfred-kun!"

"Sorry, sorry. I'm still gonna ask you about your sex life later."

Matthew flushed and took another sip. Why did Alfred need to know or talk about that anyway? He wasn't... discussing their sex life with this boy was he? The thought sent him into a panic and he clutched Alfred's thigh. "Hm? Something the matter Mattie?"

Matthew opened his mouth but was too embarrassed to ask. He would do it later in private. "N-no. Um, I like this. Wh-what is it called again?"

Kiku answered. "Ramune. They aren't in regular stores but you can get them at Asian markets."

"Ah, I see."

There was a slight pause and Alfred began to drum his fingers on the bed. Kiku took notice and spoke. "May I ask how the two of you met or would you consider that too prying Williams-san? Alfred-kun has told me a bit about you but very little."

The words sent soothing relief through Matthew. If that was true he probably hadn't been discussing their sex life. "O-oh I don't mind. Alfred, you can tell it. You do it better than I do."

Giving Matthew a squeeze Alfred launched into a somewhat overblown account of the first day they met. Matthew leaned his head on Alfred's shoulder and listened just as attentively as Kiku. He loved Alfred's somewhat fantastical version of their first meeting. It was cute. Alfred had a talent for making things sound better than they were.

The rest of the time random things were discussed. Matthew tried to jump in whenever he could but it was hard for him. It was doubly hard in this case because Kiku had such a piercing gaze, as if questioning the validity of every single word that came from his mouth. The worth of it. Overall he felt out of place and wasn't entirely sure he came out of the encounter liking Kiku. Not that he would say that out loud. He could hardly insult Alfred's best friend.

Still, it was an immense relief to him when Alfred finally stood, cracking his back. "Hey, it's been all sorts of fun but I think we should get going before Mei starts having a panic attack over trying to cook for all of us. Are... things okay with...?"

Kiku shrugged one shoulder which Alfred knew meant 'same as before'. He nodded. Kiku's dark eyes turned to Matthew. "It was a pleasure to meet you Williams-san. Perhaps we can spend time together again in the future. I would like that."

Matthew made a weak smile appear. "O-oh yes! We should. Um, it was nice to meet you too."

"See ya later Kiku! We're having that talk soon, seriously."

"Impertinent men get nowhere in life Alfred-kun."

Alfred laughed loudly at that and waved. "Whatever you say."

Matthew said a very soft, "Goodbye, thank you for having us."

Kiku waved and turned to his computer before they were fully out the door. Tramping down the stairs, Alfred paused at the front door. "Bye Mei! Thanks for letting us invade your home for a while!"

Mei appeared after a moment. "O-oh you're leaving? Well thanks for giving Kiku company. Always a pleasure."

She gave them warm looks that made Matthew's heart ache. It was moments like that he wished he knew his mother better...

"Thank you very much," he managed to say before Alfred had him out the door.

Alfred gave him a questioning look. "So, what did you think of him?"

Matthew's eyes flickered to the house. "W-well, he was...interesting."

"Mm, that's not even the half of it. Sorry if he ever made you uncomfortable. He's just awkward, that's all. More so than even you!" He gave a strand of Matthew's hair a playful tug.

Matthew swatted his hand away lightly. "Hey! Um, y-yes I... I wasn't uncomfortable...er, well more rather, I'm always a little uncomfortable around new people."

Alfred raised his eyebrows. "Oh? You seemed pretty comfortable around me."

Matthew gave him a gentle smile. "You're special."

Alfred paused and gave Matthew one of his warmer smiles. "No. But you are."

He leaned in and kissed Matthew's cheek. "A-Al..."

Alfred beamed at him. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Matthew's face fell. "Er... I don't know..."

Somehow Papa had convinced Arthur to let him keep coming over and seeing Alfred but he still wasn't overly eager to be in his presence. He could already feel those disapproving eyes scorching into his skin over the dinner table as everyone tried to pretend he hadn't seen them having sex. It was too much for him.

"Oh come on," Alfred pleaded. "If it's Arthur don't let him bug you. He's just a jerk. Ignore him."

Matthew shook his head. "N-no I'm supposed to help Papa with the cooking tonight."

Alfred grabbed his arm a little more tightly than was comfortable. "Oh come on, I'm sure Papa wouldn't mind. In fact he'd probably encourage it! It won't be a big deal."

"I...I'm sorry Alfred, not tonight. How about another time?" He gave Alfred a pleading look.

Alfred stared at him for a moment then let go of his arm. "...Yeah alright. I understand. Sorry."

"A-Alfred, I-"

Alfred smiled at him. It was a smile Matthew was starting to become familiar with. The smile that seemed to suggest he had just failed a test he wasn't aware he was taking. "No worries Mattie. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"...I'm really sorry Al. Next time, I promise." Matthew reached over and took his hand, squeezing it.

Alfred squeezed back then let it slide from his grip. "Don't be sorry. I just sprang it on you. Be careful alright?"

Matthew gave him a look of uncertainty bordering on despair. "...Yeah, alright. I...Can I call you later?"

Alfred reached up and brushed a lock of Matthew's hair back, tucking it behind his ear. "Of course Mattie. I'll be looking forward to it."

That reassured Matthew somewhat. "Okay... Have a good night."

"You too." Alfred gave Matthew a brief kiss and touched his cheek. "Be seeing you."

Matthew nodded and backed away from Alfred slowly. He felt like he should stay. Felt like he should say to hell with it and have dinner with him no matter how awkward it was. Instead he turned and walked away. He had to meet Papa at his work.

Alfred watched him, hands shoved into his pockets. He walked up to his house, empty and hollow. For a moment he almost turned right back around, see if maybe he could get a dinner out of Mei. Neither she nor Kiku would really mind even if Yao would. Sighing softly he entered the house, slamming the door behind him.

With slow, trudging steps he pulled himself up his staircase and into his bedroom. He threw himself on the bed listlessly then looked up. Something caught his eye through the window. Pausing, he finally pulled himself up and walked over to it. He stared for a long time, thinking. After a while he started digging through the contents on top of his desk and picked up an inconspicuous square of red, nothing more spectacular than a paint sample. He tucked it into the corner of the window. Reaching over to the cord for the blinds, he lowered them slowly until he was left in the dark.

* * *

Translation:

Okasan - Mother

**AN: **Hmm this is definitely one of those stories that has a slower pace.


	4. Chapter 4

A new chapter~ Got a little stuck motivation wise on this but it is finally here!

* * *

Arthur sipped rather bland tea as he walked around without any real aim. His shift had ended, a rare early day, and now he didn't know what to do with himself. Alfred wouldn't be home from school yet and he hated sitting around in their empty house. It felt empty enough with Alfred there never mind when no one was around. He sighed softly and wondered if he should try to do something. Offer to take Alfred out tonight? They hadn't eaten out in...

As he paused to try and recall the information—a bad sign in itself—a voice suddenly called out to him. "Arthur! Arthur Kirkland, correct? I would recognize those eyebrows anywhere!"

Arthur whirled around with a scowl to see who dared mock his eyebrows. Opening his mouth to sharply retort he suddenly paused and closed it. Furrowing his brow he stared at the man who was cheerfully waving at him. It took him a moment but he finally placed him. "...Francis right? Matthew's father?"

Francis put a hand to his heart. "Oh, I am wounded. Am I truly so unmemorable?"

Shrugging, Arthur felt the tension leave him. "Sorry. We only met the once and I was a bit... off my senses at the time."

Francis chuckled. "Ah, no worries, no worries. C'est la vie, oui? I am so surprised to see you! What are you doing out here? On patrol after all?"

Arthur snorted. "Hardly. I got off and now I'm trying to kill time. I work so much that it's actually a bit of a burden to have free time. I never know how to fill it."

"Oh but that is terrible! Come, I am on break but you must have lunch at my restaurant. It is a small thing and I am still working on getting regular customers but those who come say it is magnifique!"

When was the last time Arthur had been invited to do something? "Er, I'm not sure about that. Not that I don't appreciate it but-"

Francis grasped his hand. "Do not try to give me that monsieur! You told me yourself that you have nothing to do and so I shall give you something to do. And as I am in charge I may join you and no one can say anything about it."

He laughed flamboyantly as he dragged Arthur behind him a short distance into a discreet doorway that he would have walked right by without a second glance. It was cool inside while the atmosphere came off as warm. A few people sat scattered here and there. Francis pushed him down at a table for two. "Wait here and I will make you something to die for!"

"B-but you don't even know what I like-" Arthur started to protest. This Francis was a regular one-man storm.

Francis winked at him. "One bite of anything I bring out and you will fall in love, trust me."

Arthur sat back with a slight scowl on his face. What an egotistical man. It didn't help that he felt terribly guilty and embarrassed about one of his scones making Francis choke nearly to death. And he had been so confident that batch had turned out well...

All there was to do was look around. A friendly (and very attractive, he noted dryly) woman came out to pour him water and share some platonic friendly banter. Then more waiting.

Finally Francis came out and put a beautiful plate before him. All Arthur could do was stare for a moment. Not only did it look too good to eat it smelled heavenly. "Bon appétit!"

Francis watched him intently as he took the first bite. Arthur stared at him. "...You... You French! And your fancy foods and...and..."

"But you like it?" he asked with a pleasant smile.

Arthur took another bite in response and Francis chuckled. After pouring him a glass of wine without his usual spiel on how it would enhance the meal—Arthur hardly seemed the type to vaguely care—he sat back, satisfied by his reaction. There was something about Arthur that he rather liked. Perhaps it was a desire to squirm beneath his hard, prude outer layer.

"You know it has always been my dream to own a restaurant and to be the head chef. I would have liked to do it in the romantic city of Paris but...I suppose you could say I had some family problems I wanted to escape. The kind you have to cross an ocean to get away from."

He paused and smiled wistfully. "But that is hardly interesting. Let us see... Ah, I moved to Canada and tried restarting there. I had almost gotten it too but then I was blessed with a better miracle, my dearest Matthieu. Needless to say money got a bit tighter after that but it did not bother me so much. Honestly even if I had gotten a restaurant at that point I would have surely lost it. I was so lost myself back then. Ah, and then came my beautiful Angelique! My angel. Between them I reached a point where I could truly hope to make something of myself but... being a single Papa is quite expensive. As I am sure you are quite aware, eh Arthur?"

Arthur realized for the first time that he had stopped eating while he listened to Francis speak and quickly speared another piece of meat. "Mm, yes. It is rather pricey. One of the reasons I started working so much in the first place."

Francis poured himself a glass of wine and swirled it before taking a small sip. "I started saving up money again whenever I had it. Where we lived was expensive and Matthieu wasn't having the easiest time. I thought about moving and then one day on a whim decided why not travel to the dream country? Perhaps a bit foolish. I cannot say it is the best country I have lived in, and far from my favorite, but I have attained two of my dearest wishes after all so it must have just a touch of the magic people think it does. I now own my own restaurant and it seems it may very well succeed. And of course Matthieu is no longer lonely. He thinks the world of your son you know. Talks about him all the time."

Arthur chewed thoughtfully then swallowed. "I have already given my permission for them to see each other if you are trying to make a point."

"But you see Matthieu has confided that he feels like you must hate him and is worried about being in your presence. Neither he nor I mean offense, believe me. I was thinking perhaps if our families spent more time together it would ease that awkward little hiccup, oui?"

Arthur's face flushed and he gave himself a moment to think over his response by taking a drink of wine. It tasted bitter and dry. He wasn't used to drinking wine. "...I hold no grudge against your son. Really I do not doubt that it was Alfred who initiated that behavior. And in all honesty Alfred has been better behaved since spending time with your- Oh... Hmph, now that I think about it maybe that's why he blew up at me over dinner the other night."

Francis raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

Making a face and shaking his head, Arthur told him. "We were eating in our usual icy silence when he suddenly blew up at me, blaming me for, oh I don't know, all of his unhappiness, global warming, the end of the Inca Empire. Just about everything that has gone wrong in all of history."

Francis gave him a look of disbelief. "Did he really?"

"No, of course not, but sometimes it really feels that way. I can never do anything right. Maybe something happened with Matthew and so it was of course my fault. Tell your son he can come over whenever he wants. I have no problem with never acknowledging that awkward first meeting."

Francis leaned his chin on one hand. The man before him was so awkward and odd. It was cute. "Perhaps we can do one better? Tonight I am afraid I will not be ready but perhaps tomorrow night both you and Alfred can come over for dinner? The Bonnefoy household would love to have you both!"

Clearing his throat, Arthur started to look around nervously. "I-I work full shift tomorrow. A lot of the time I end up working late too. I don't know-"

Francis reached over and took one of his hands, running a thumb over it lightly. "Now now, no need to be shy! I do not mind a late dinner. That works for me as well. Alfred can come home with Matthieu and then you may join us when you get off. I will not take no for an answer and trust me when I say I am a _very _persistent man."

The nervous, stricken expression that appeared on Arthur's face was so wonderful Francis wanted to eat it up. He had a feeling he could easily entertain himself for hours mercilessly teasing Arthur given the chance.

Arthur wilted somewhat, both annoyed and uncertain. It would be rude to brush him off, especially if he was the father of Alfred's... special friend. But things like dinners and social gatherings were usually tiresome for him and he felt out of place. It didn't seem he would be able to talk his way out of it though. "...I will see what I can do."

The words left Francis absolutely beaming and already the menu for tomorrow night was forming. "I am very happy to hear you say that! Please, finish your lunch. Relax, enjoy. Kill as much time here as you wish. I do not mind in the least. And do not worry about the cost of your meal, it is on the house. Unfortunately I do have to get back to work or my subordinates may mutiny."

He chuckled as he stood, offering Arthur another warm smile. "It must be fate that our paths crossed this day."

Arthur watched him walk back towards the kitchen. He slowly ate what was left on his plate. It wasn't that he disliked Francis, he just didn't quite... know how to handle him. He simultaneously made him feel at ease and very on edge. It was obvious he was a bad influence but he didn't seem to mean any ill will and had a genuine love for his children. With bitterness he couldn't help but think they probably loved him very much despite a hardly ideal personality and lifestyle. Arthur set down his fork.

When Francis had a moment to break away again, see if Arthur was still around, he found the table empty. Beneath the wineglass was a twenty dollar bill. Francis couldn't help but smile. That was hardly enough to cover what he had made for him. Even if he had overpaid it was somewhat insulting to his hospitality. Picking up the bill he kissed it lightly before tucking it away. That was alright. The reluctance only made the chase that much more exciting.

~.

Matthew watched Alfred's face apprehensively as he studied his house. It was his first time coming over and while Matthew knew that Alfred wouldn't care if he lived in a dumpster, he couldn't help feeling nervous. The house was small, just big enough for his family to cram together in. Angelique had been on beautification patrol and had started to plant flowers along the front of the house.

Francis came up and put his arms around the both of them. Making a special dinner was something he took very seriously and so had left work early to pick the two boys up then get started. "So tell me Alfred, what do you think of our humble abode?"

Alfred grinned brightly. "I think it's great Papa!"

"Wonderful! And just wait until you see the inside. It is even better!" He dragged the two of them towards the house. "Now how about you give him the grand tour while I start dinner?"

Matthew could barely agree before Francis was bustling towards the kitchen. "Let's see, well through here you have the living room..."

The living room, a glimpse of the kitchen before they were shooed away (it looked to be the best equipped room in the house), a small dining room, a bathroom that was apparently shared by all three of them ("You can't believe the chaos during the morning"), and then the bedrooms. Matthew merely pointed out his Papa's and sister's room. It would be rude to open them up without permission. The furniture was a bit sparse but there was excellent use of space and everything was very tastefully decorated. A bit messy but very home-y.

Feeling self-conscious again, Matthew stopped in front of a door. "This is my room." Fidgeting slightly he opened it and let Alfred in before closing it behind them. "It's... well, it's home."

Alfred looked around. The bedroom was what he expected more or less. Lots of books, a poster of some hockey team, a hockey stick shoved into a corner (no doubt there were some ice skates tucked away somewhere), a few family pictures including a pretty woman Alfred assumed was Matthew's mother, and everything was very neat unlike his own room.

"I like it. Very nice." Alfred plopped onto the bed and kicked off his shoes. He bounced on it a couple times. "Hey, hey! The bed doesn't creak."

Matthew flushed deeply at the devilish grin Alfred flashed him. "Yes but I am not exactly given much privacy. The door doesn't lock and Papa and Angelique have a habit of popping in whenever they please."

Alfred reached out and hooked his fingers in the belt loops of Matthew's pants, pulling him closer. "That may be true but Papa is busy right now and your sister won't be home for a little while right?"

"Actually the bus should be dropping her off pretty soon. She's in Jr. High and gets off the same time we do. We would have picked her up but she insisted on riding with her friends instead. And I really don't want to traumatize her." The last thing he needed was a repeat of what had happened to Arthur with his little sister.

Alfred pouted up at him. "Fine, fine. No sex. Can we still have just a bit of fun? Hm?"

He unhooked his fingers and slid his hands beneath Matthew's shirt, rubbing his sides. Matthew couldn't help but melt into the touches. Alfred scooted back a bit on the bed and pulled Matthew forward until he was straddling him. Feeling just a little sick from paranoia Matthew leaned in and met Alfred's lips in a soft kiss.

The kiss gradually deepened and became more heated, tongues roaming across one another. They left each other breathless. Alfred's hands continued to slide along Matthew's chest and sides. They rubbed his back lightly as Matthew gripped Alfred's hair, glasses almost slipping off and bumping against the other's. His hands finally came down to cup Matthew's ass, squeezing shamelessly. Matthew blushed and moaned into Alfred's mouth. If they only had a little more time...

Alfred pulled away from the kiss, hands still working. "We are making time," he kissed Matthew lightly, "to have sex," another kiss, "in the very near future. I'm dying here."

He pressed his lips up against Matthew's again, nibbling the bottom one lightly. Matthew sighed softly and began to rub the back of Alfred's neck to show his approval. It felt like it had been a while since their last time.

There was suddenly the sound of a door being slammed and a female voice yelling something. Matthew pulled away sharply. "Th-that's my sister!"

He struggled out of Alfred's grip and straightened himself out. Alfred chuckled. He was so flustered and red it looked like they had done more than just made out. But he certainly hadn't been lying about one thing, just moments after the initial slamming door, his own burst open and a young girl all but threw herself into the room. "Hi Matt!"

She hugged him fiercely then almost pushed him away, turning to examine Alfred. She tilted her head and hummed thoughtfully. Angelique had black hair that was pulled back into two ponytails with red ribbons and brown eyes as well as darker skin. While Matthew took after Papa, she obviously took after her own mother. Other than having fine features there was little resemblance.

Angelique finally nodded, as if satisfied. "So you must be Alfred. You're Matthew's boyfriend right?"

Alfred grinned as Matthew winced. "Sure am. And you must be his little sister. He never told me you were so pretty."

The compliment pleased her very much and she grinned back. "He was probably worried that if you knew that you would leave him for me. You can call me Angel or Angie if you like. Most people do."

Matthew gave an indignant squeak. "Don't be so full of yourself, it is very unbecoming for a girl!"

She twirled around. "Oh, but it would be alright if I were a boy?"

The two of them stared each other down and Alfred watched for a moment. Finally he laughed and stood, abruptly lifting Angelique into the air. She shrieked, first from shock and then with delight. "What a vibrant personality! Poor Mattie. Do you know all his buttons? Share them with me, okay Angie?"

She giggled shrilly. "Carry me like a princess and I'll tell you what he was afraid of until he was thirteen!"

"A-Angelique! Don't you dare!" Oh damn it was cute when Matthew got all upset like that.

Alfred set her down then scooped her back up a la princess bride style. Delighted beyond words she slid her arms around his neck. "Quickly, run to my room and I'll tell you all kinds of stories about him!"

"A-Al don't! Come on, it's not funny!" He reached out to grab Alfred's arm but he was too fast.

Alfred ducked around him and ran out of the room towards Angelique's.

"Quick, quick, put me down!" Alfred obliged and she hurried over to the door, pushing hard against it as Matthew tried to open it.

"Cut it out Angelique! You're being annoying!"

"You're annoying! Go away, I'm talking to Alfred!"

"Let me in this second Angelique!"

Matthew pushed harder on the door and she grit her teeth, bracing it with her entire body. "N-no!"

Alfred was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Very useful. "Alfred! Would you stop laughing? It isn't funny!"

Francis's voice cut over the chaos. "Mon Dieu, what is going on out there?"

Angelique's voice became surprisingly loud as she yelled through the door to their father. "Matt is being mean to me! He doesn't want me to hang out with his boyfriend! Tell him I can!"

"Matthieu, be nice to your sister. Angelique, how about you come help Papa in the kitchen?"

"I am not being mean to her, I just-"

Matthew's voice, which was quite soft, was easily overpowered by his sister's. "Make Matt do it, I suck at cooking!"

"You can only improve with practice mon petit chou."

"Please Papa, make Matt do it! I helped last night right? I promise I won't tease Matt anymore, but I don't want to help!"

"Oh, light of my life, angel of my soul, you break my heart! You do not love your Papa?"

Matthew stood against the door, forehead pressed to it as he waited hopelessly for his sister to cave. Sometimes she could act so bratty. It didn't help that it usually got her what she wanted and that Alfred was playing along with her.

Alfred finally calmed himself and put a hand on Angelique's head. What a completely different atmosphere than what he was used to. "If you help Papa I'll go out and help too. Sound good?"

She stared at him then smiled warmly. "Well, okay... I guess so."

Angelique took his hand and opened the door, Matthew nearly tumbling onto her. "Jeez Matt, way to be in the way. Alfred and I are helping Papa. You may come too."

Matthew adjusted his glasses and looked at Alfred in confusion. Alfred simply smiled and shrugged, clasping Matthew's hand with his free one. Still a little confused about what had happened Matthew stumbled after the two of them.

Once they hit the kitchen Angelique released Alfred's hand and ran to her father, throwing her arms around him. "Papa, we came to help! Give me and Alfred something easy. Make Matt do the hard stuff."

Francis laughed. "Suddenly so many little helpers! Alright then, I can find something for everyone."

He proceeded to divide out a few tasks. The kitchen was too small for all of them to work comfortably in at once and so Alfred and Angelique chopped things in the dining room as Matthew assisted his father. Alfred was alright at the task but he moved slowly. Angelique was truly impressive, chattering away as her hand easily guided the knife quickly and precisely through a variety of vegetables.

Francis glanced at the two of them from time to time, smiling and shaking his head. Finally, as he was picking out some spices, he spoke quietly to Matthew. "I am sorry to split you up. I'm sure you would much rather be with Alfred. In all honesty I would have thought Alfred would have gotten tired of Angelique by now. But non, he sits there and listens to her in a way neither you nor even I will most of the time. He doesn't look bored or annoyed or like he's ignoring her. It is truly impressive."

Matthew looked up from the meat he was cutting for a moment towards the dining room then smiled to himself. "Oui, Alfred is... he's quite amazing. I've never met anyone who listens so patiently and understandingly. It's like he really cares. About anything. No matter how silly or if it's..." He waved his hand thoughtfully. "Une broutille. Vous savez?"

"Hmmm an excellent quality in a man. Or anyone really." A moment of silence passed. "So you have been using protection, oui?"

Matthew blushed deeply. "Papa! I told you already, we usually-"

Francis cut in, tone mildly amused. "Usually will not save you mon petit."

"It's not like either of us can get pregnant and neither of us have anything to catch from each other. And we _usually _use protection. Honest."

Clicking his tongue, Francis took over cutting the meat as he shook his head. "It would make me feel better if 'usually' was 'always'. I am not saying anything against either of you but it is much safer. And of course I understand that it is somewhat awkward and doesn't feel nearly as good. But that's what extra thin-"

"Papa, please."

"Alright, alright. And if you find it cuts into the romance I can tell you various ways on how to make it a romantic part of-"

"Papa! Enough already! You're embarrassing me."

Angelique popped her head into the room. "We finished cutting up all the vegetables. What's Matt's problem?"

Alfred came in a moment later with the vegetables. "Where should I put these?"

Francis told Alfred where to set things down as Angelique teased her brother about his flushed face. Finally Francis rubbed his hands together. "Okay children, I can take it from here. Out of the kitchen as Papa cooks! Play nicely together please."

The three left the kitchen and after another small argument they ended up on the couch in front of the television watching cartoons. During a commercial break Angelique slipped off to the bathroom and Matthew sighed. "Sorry about Angie. I hope she's not being too annoying. She's just excited to meet you. And she loves tormenting me."

Chuckling softly, Alfred leaned over and kissed his cheek. "My poor Mattie. I don't think she's annoying. And it must be kind of fun to have a sibling, even if it is sort of irritating sometimes."

"Well...I guess so. Sometimes she can be really sweet and fun." He pressed a little bit closer to Alfred. The feeling of anxiety over Alfred's first visit to his house and meeting with Angelique had faded. Alfred seemed to be comfortable in his surroundings and hadn't made any negative comments. If only he felt so comfortable in Alfred's house after the awkward first meeting with Arthur.

Matthew licked his teeth and stared at the colorful cartoon on the television, hugging Alfred's arm tightly. They hadn't discussed the incident of his refusing dinner the other night. And it had made him feel very awkward asking Alfred over afterwards on Papa's behalf even though he had seemed more than happy to. "U-um, Alfred. About... the other night. Um, maybe-"

Angelique suddenly returned, crowding on the other side of Alfred and copying Matthew, much to his annoyance. Alfred didn't seem to mind in the least. "This sure is a friendly family. So affectionate. I should make both of you my brides and then I can have the lot of you to myself."

He laughed and Angelique giggled as Matthew made a face that was most certainly not a pout. "Al, don't say weird things like that."

Alfred laughed again and kissed his forehead. "Sorry, sorry. You know you're the only one I want as my bride."

A flush of heat traveled through Matthew. "Th-that's..."

"Aww, no fair Alfred. I would make a way cuter bride than my brother."

"Oh you think so? Both of you should have a competition. I shall marry whoever wins. And go!"

Matthew punched his arm and Angelique stuck her tongue out at her brother. And Alfred grinned, all the while wondering what it must be like to have such a warm family.

~.

Francis looked at the clock and frowned slightly. Everything had just finished cooking and the table had been set by a grumpy Angelique. All that was left was to allow a small window for cooling and to serve. And still no sign of or word from Arthur. He walked out of the kitchen. "Ah, Alfred, do you think something could be the matter? Shouldn't your father be here by now?"

Alfred looked up, his smile fading a bit. "...I doubt he'll come if he isn't here yet. Just wait, Arthur will call any minute now telling you why he can't come. It's better that he doesn't, he'd just curdle the atmosphere anyway."

The words were surprisingly venomous to Francis, who might well die of heartache if he heard his own children say such a thing. "I am sure that isn't true."

Alfred shrugged. "Whatever you say Papa."

Frown deepening, Francis returned to the kitchen as Matthew stared uncomfortably at the television and Angelique looked up from her half painted nails curiously. Well, Matthew had told him that Arthur and Alfred had problems. And Arthur had told him on their first meeting that he had a variety of issues with the boy. He just couldn't understand why. Alfred seemed very polite, kind, and easy going. It was hard for him to believe Arthur had such a difficult time with him. And that Alfred disliked Arthur so much.

All he could do was carry on and get the dinner ready. Once everything was on the table his cellphone rang. He picked it up, voice bright. "Bonjour! You have reached the Bonnefoy residence."

A quiet, slightly muffled voice spoke. "Er, hello? Is this Francis speaking?"

Ah, here was Arthur. "Yes, this is he. Where are you? I was starting to get worried."

"Er, just a second I'm having some- Watch it! Er, I'm having some trouble hearing, let me get to a quieter location."

Francis went to stand in the doorway of the living room. The three children looked up briefly and Francis mouthed to Alfred _'Your father.'_

Alfred rolled his eyes. Just then Arthur spoke again. "Right, sorry about that. Listen-"

Suddenly Alfred began to speak in a flat voice. "I won't be able to make it. I'm terribly sorry but work just won't let me go. I hope you understand but what can one do?"

The fact that Alfred's small speech was almost a clone of what Arthur said over the telephone deeply troubled Francis. "Ah...but that is alright. If you show up a little late-"

"Er, no I...I'm sorry to waste your time and any effort you took on my account but tonight is not a good night. Maybe another time..."

All trace of a smile disappeared from Francis' face and he ducked into the other room, voice lowering to a slight hush. "I see. I suppose if that is the case... but may I just mention that Alfred repeated nearly verbatim what you just told me as you said it?"

There was a soft sigh on the other line and a pause of silence, some sort of background noise he couldn't quite identify the only sound.

"...You can still get here while we are eating if you left now I am sure."

Another sigh. "I don't..."

"You are a very stubborn man Arthur. I admire that but when it comes to your son don't you think-"

The next thing he knew he was listening to the dial tone. "He hung up on me. How rude those Englishmen are..."

Francis drummed his fingers on his arm then walked to the living room, clapping his hands sharply. "Dinner time!" The three got to their feet and headed towards the dining room. "Do not forget to wash your hands."

Alfred paused next to Francis. "Not coming, am I right Papa?"

"...Non, it seems not. This happens often?"

Smiling softly, Alfred shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah. What can I say? The world is filled with sunflowers."

The words, so optimistic, struck Francis as terribly odd. "What?"

"Oh... just something someone told me once. I've found it to be...quite true." Alfred slid past him and Francis watched him with a perked brow, not sure what to make of it. But really, it was no wonder he and Arthur had so many problems if things like this were common occurrences.

Matthew looked at Alfred with concern as they sat at the dinner table. "Are you okay?"

Alfred raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Eh? Of course. I didn't want Arthur here anyway. I'd much rather enjoy you and your family without him."

And what could Matthew say to that? Francis didn't seem to know how to take it at first either but Alfred was cheerful and didn't act bothered in the least. Matthew let it drop, knowing it was just how Alfred was. But it wasn't quite so easy for Francis. No, even as he carried on the friendly banter with his children and Alfred it bothered him.

It greatly amused Alfred that all of them had wine with dinner, even a small glass for Angelique, and Francis acted as if it were perfectly alright. He even demonstrated the proper way to drink it for Alfred. No, it was definitely better Arthur wasn't there.

Dinner and dessert were finished and none could eat another bite. Alfred praised the food highly, telling Francis a few horror stories of Arthur's cooking and of his own meager talents. They all talked for a long time before Francis determined it was time to take Alfred home. After all, if Arthur couldn't do it...

Pursing his lips at the thought, he put a hand lightly on Matthew's shoulder as Alfred was putting his shoes on. "Matthieu, please allow me to take Alfred home alone."

Matthew looked up at him, a bit confused as to why. "Eh? Oh...um, alright Papa."

Francis pet his hair. "Thank you. Say your goodbyes."

Nodding once Matthew went to Alfred, still wondering why Papa didn't want him to go with them. Probably something about Arthur... Alfred was saying goodbye to Angelique and he waited a bit awkwardly. Alfred's eyes met his and he smiled warmly. Matthew returned it weakly. "U-um, I won't be going on the ride with you. Papa...um, he wants me to clean up. But I will see you tomorrow."

Alfred tilted his head and Matthew held his breath, hoping he wasn't completely transparent in his lies. "I see. Alright then. Thanks for having me. Let's do this again, eh? I like it here a lot."

"And he likes me," Angelique inserted before trotting off when Matthew gave her a warning look.

"Yes, we should! Um...I really liked having you here."

Alfred leaned close, voice very soft. "But let's also go somewhere more private in the near future hm? Somewhere that has locks on the doors..."

Matthew blushed and Alfred smirked slightly, leaning in to give him a small kiss. Matthew just barely reacted in time to kiss him back before he pulled away. Francis walked in tugging on a light jacket. "Alright lovebirds, I hope you have said your farewells, difficult as it may be to part." He laughed lightly and put a hand on Matthew's shoulder for a moment. "Ready Alfred?"

Alfred nodded and waved to Matthew. "See you later Mattie! Angelique!"

Matthew waved and watched the two leave. That had been really nice even if he hadn't gotten as much alone time with Alfred as usual. Maybe...he would have to make an effort to go to Alfred's house and actually stay next time. It was only fair and it was obvious that things were tenser than he had thought between Alfred and Arthur. Maybe he would only make it worse but on the other hand he might help ease tension. It couldn't hurt to try. For Alfred he could try...

~.

The world flit by outside the window. There was an easy silence between Alfred and Francis as they drove along. When they were close to his house Francis finally broke the silence. "So Alfred...It is normal for your father-"

Alfred cut in, tone sharp. "He is not my father, he is my adoptive guardian. There is a difference."

The words took him slightly aback. "...Oui. Arthur then. It is normal for him to skip out on things?"

Snorting loudly, Alfred continued to stare out the window. "Yeah... Not the most reliable guy. But I don't really care. I don't need him."

The words were so cold, automatic. They gave Francis an odd feeling of déjà vu that he did not care for at all. "Does he truly work that hard?"

There was a pause and Alfred peered over at Francis for a moment. "Yep, that Arthur is a workaholic. It's sort of disgusting really. Never there when you need him."

"...I see. So he works late? Most of the time?"

A wry smile twisted Alfred's lips upwards. "No not most of the time. Just when it matters."

As Francis digested the words Alfred took off his glasses and cleaned them, looking the epitome of bored. "Don't worry about it. I'm not asking you to feel all sorry for me or be all angry at him. I'm just stating the facts as they are and we have gotten on as we are for years now."

Francis tapped the steering wheel. Before he had a chance to speak again they were pulling up in front of Alfred's house. It was very dark. "...He does not seem to be home yet. Alfred, would you like to spend the night at our house? I will even wait for you to grab a few things if you like. It wouldn't be a problem."

"Huh? Oh no I'm fine. He'll be home soon I'm sure. Thanks for the offer though, I really appreciate it." Before Francis could protest Alfred had the door open and was out of the car. "Thanks for having me. You're the best cook ever! Hope to come again soon."

After a brief pause Francis smiled. "...Whenever you like. Really, you are always welcome at my home."

"Thanks Papa! I'll take you up on that sometime soon. Thanks for the ride too." With that Alfred slammed the door and walked towards the dark house. Francis watched him uncertainly, lingering even once Alfred was inside to see if he changed his mind. It felt wrong leaving him here alone but he was all grown up after all. Something was bothering him but he couldn't put his finger on it. All he knew was that somehow he was having a cœur à cœur with Arthur very soon.

When a light went on in the house Francis finally pulled away. There was little he could do at the moment. Still...Perhaps he would talk to Matthew about it. See if he had more of a perspective on the whole thing.

Alfred watched Francis drive away and turned the light off, making his way to his room in the sudden darkness. He knew it fairly well, having snuck in after hours more than a few times. Once in his room he stripped down to his boxers and slid into bed, placing his glasses safely aside. Then he sighed into the emptiness of the house. So different than the atmosphere of Matthew's house. He hated it here.

~.

It had been difficult to fall asleep, Alfred tossing and turning before falling into a light doze. Some unknown time later he was awoken by the sound of a slamming car door. He blinked in the dark and listened carefully. After a pause he heard a car drive off. Taxi.

Figured.

Alfred quickly turned on his side, facing away from the door. His body was tense, annoyance making him ultra sensitive to the noises he heard from within the house. As he finally heard his bedroom door creak open he bit his tongue, closed his eyes, and held his breath. He hated this most of all.

The sound of unsteady steps across the floor. A pause. Then weight on the bed. "Alfred...?"

The name came out slightly slurred, the smell of alcohol lingering. Alfred pretended to twitch then resettle into 'sleep'. He felt a hand shakily brush through his hair and then the worst part. Sniffling. A moment later Arthur was crying, feebly trying to hold back sobs. Alfred grit his teeth as he began to speak in what he supposed Arthur thought was a whisper. "I'm sorry Al, I am. One drink, thought to myself just one little drink and I'll go. I will try my best, just need that one drink. But I couldn't stop. I tried, I'm so sorry Alfred I'm a failure."

The words were all slurred and painfully pathetic. And still Arthur carried on. He was _sorry._ Next time he would try harder, really he would. He wouldn't go near a bar again. Wouldn't touch a drink. All for Alfred. God did he really think Alfred was sleeping through this bullshit?

Finally the sobbing winded down and Arthur pet Alfred's hair one last time. "Goodnight. I'm sorry. Truly very sorry."

There was the sound of footsteps wavering across the floor and the door closing again.

Fucking drunk.

Arthur wasn't so bad really. It wasn't like he drank everyday and he was neither a mean nor violent drunk. The problem was that when he started he couldn't seem to stop and then he got all sappy and sentimental. And he only seemed to drink when he should have been there for Alfred instead. It hadn't started out that way but that's what it eventually boiled down to.

Alfred couldn't stand it when Arthur was drunk. It was the only time he apologized but the words didn't mean a damn thing if he wasn't sober. Not a goddamn thing.

He could have told Francis the truth. That his "father" hadn't come to dinner because he was probably out drinking in some pub. According to Arthur stopping to get just one little drink before the dinner. Perhaps to work up his nerves with liquid courage. Then he simply couldn't stop. Probably called a couple drinks in when he had the wits left to make excuses.

_'It's okay Arthur,' _Alfred thought to himself with only a touch of bitterness. _'I keep everyone's secrets. Even yours. I...am very good at keeping secrets.'_

_

* * *

_

Translations:

C'est la vie – such is life

mon petite chou-literally: my little cabbage but can signify something like 'sweetie'

Une broutille. Vous savez? – A trifle (trivial matter). You know?

cœur à cœur – heart to heart


	5. Chapter 5

Ah~ I loved working on this chapter. So much. It was quite fun and wrote itself out quite nicely. It also demanded I finish it before anything else so there ya go.

I will just throw this out there as we get some more characters in the story, just about everyone in this series has problems. A lot of them have big problems. It's all a part of one of the over-arching themes of this story which will come out more as things progress~

**Warning: **Condoms in this chapter. Lots of them.

* * *

The desk in Alfred's room was interesting. It always had things piled on it that changed about every time Matthew came over. Sometimes it might be clothes, either clean or dirty. At others it was papers or school projects. One time it was a huge alien toy affectionately named Tony that had since been moved to a different location. In the lull between Alfred and he, Matthew sipped at a soda and looked over the mountains of pens, homework, and candy wrappers. He reached out to pick up a small card. A sunflower was painted on it. It seemed to be a permanent resident of the desk along with a red paint swatch and a small American flag. Before he could pick up the card, perhaps ask about it, Alfred spoke.

"So...You want to do it?"

Matthew nearly spit the mouthful of soda he had just taken out all over Alfred's desk, face flushing bright red. He swallowed hard, coughing. Alfred smiled at him, looking amused and potentially satisfied at his reaction. Matthew wiped his mouth. "D-do what?"

Alfred stretched out on the bed, glasses practically flashing mischievously. "Mm, I wonder... Well, I suppose it all depends really. We could paint our nails and talk about how Suzy broke up with Brad. Maybe do our homework. Or you know...have sex."

Still blushing, Matthew set his soda down. "I...W-well, um..."

"No worries, Arthur won't be home until late tonight and this time I promise that's true. I double checked and everything because you were coming over. So what do you say my delicate maple leaf?"

Matthew scrunched up his nose at the nickname but made his way to the bed as Alfred raised into a kneeling position with a small smirk on his lips. Why did he have to look so attractive when he was smug? Matthew crawled onto the bed, leaning forward to shyly kiss Alfred. "...Yes."

Alfred kissed him back immediately, pulling him closer. They began to make out heatedly with all the vigor known to hormonal teenage boys. The next thing Matthew knew Alfred had him on his back, grinding against him playfully. Matthew moaned into his mouth, arching up to meet his movements eagerly. While Alfred was definitely more outgoing and verbal about sex, Matthew was no prude. How could he be with someone like his Papa as a father? Even if he was quiet and shy about it he was definitely as horny as Alfred was. It really had been a while since their last time.

Alfred broke their kiss, moving to nuzzle Matthew's neck. As he began to suck on the spot his hand found its way under Matthew's sweatshirt and t-shirt, stroking soft skin. Matthew clutched at Alfred, closing his eyes. "A-ah, before we get too...too far um, I...I want to use a condom."

All activity stopped immediately and Alfred leaned up. "A condom? Why? We haven't used a condom for like...I can't even remember the last time we used one."

"W-well..." Matthew blushed, knowing this would probably sound silly. "Papa has really been emphasizing that we use one all the time...Um...I'm really sorry. And it's not like I'm saying this because I don't trust you or anything! I know you're clean and I know you aren't sleeping with anyone. I just...it matters to him so I want to respect his wishes."

Alfred sat back, sighing heavily and running a hand through his hair. "Well shit, Mattie. I wish you had told me before, I might be out. I mean, I haven't exactly had a reason to restock since we stopped using them. Fuck."

He got off the bed and started digging through one of his drawers, then another one. And another. As far as he could remember they had started having sex without them because they had been horny and he had run out in the first place. Still, now that he thought about it he should have _some_. He vaguely remembered picking up a small pack before he and Matthew had decided to do without them. He cursed loudly. "What happened to my stash? I should have at least a few back ups! Bet you anything Arthur threw them away. Shit! Guh, the store is so far away!"

Matthew felt a pang of guilt. "I...I'm really sorry Alfred! Um, i-it's not that big of a deal. I mean we haven't been using them. I can wait-"

Alfred shook his head immediately. "No, it's fine. If it's important to you then we'll get some. Let me just think. Arthur probably doesn't know how to properly use them let alone have any, Kiku isn't home...Oh hey, that's it! Come on, we're going to pay a little visit real fast. Quick, think of a naked 90 year old nun!"

Matthew blinked, a bit confused on what was going on. "Wh-what? But...really it's okay."

"No it isn't, you don't have to say that. You want condoms, I will get you condoms. I will be your condom prince Mattie. Now come on, hurry!" He clapped sharply and Matthew got up, straightening his clothes and thinking of anything that would get rid of his hard on if they were going into public.

Wishing he had just kept his mouth shut, Matthew followed Alfred down the stairs, out of the house, and across the street opposite to Kiku's house.

A man was in the driveway of the house they approached, half buried under a car hood. "Hey Ludwig!"

The man tensed and pulled away from the car engine, turning around to face them. Matthew hoped Alfred wasn't going to ask for condoms from this tall, stoic man who looked strong enough to break him like a twig. Ludwig looked somewhat irritated by the distraction. "Hello Alfred. Can I help you with something?"

Matthew noted the heavy German accent. Alfred smiled at him cheerfully. "Nah, I'm here to see Gilbert. He's home, right?"

Ludwig wiped his cheek with the side of his hand, spreading a black smudge that was already there. "Ja, he's inside."

With that, apparently satisfied that he had accomplished all obligations towards the two boys, he turned back to the car and went back to work. Alfred grabbed Matthew's hand and pulled him towards the front door, entering without knocking. There was immediately a great cacophony as three large dogs came bounding forward to jump on them. Matthew cringed backwards and Alfred started to ruffle one of the dog's ears. "Hey Aster, hey boy!"

"Shut the fuck up you stupid dogs!" A voice called from the other room.

Alfred took Matthew's hand again, which shook slightly, and held it out for the dogs to smell. They calmed after a moment of thorough sniffing. "These are Ludwig's dogs. The German Shepherd is Blackie, the Doberman is Berlitz, and the Golden Retriever is Aster. So long as you don't make any aggressive actions they're very friendly. Now come on."

Pulling Matthew past the dogs, which followed after them still sniffing away suspiciously, Alfred brought him deeper into the house and closer to the voice. The place smelled like dogs, testosterone, and wurst. Matthew in no way knew how to feel about it. The worst shock was yet to come.

They entered the living room. White hair peeked out over the top of a couch. Beyond it was a television that had a muted video of something very sexual and very disturbing playing. Matthew flushed with embarrassment and he immediately averted his gaze.

"Hey Ludwig, your ass would look great in these leather-" The man turned and stopped short. "Hey Alfred! How's it going? And who's the look-a-like?"

Alfred walked closer and Matthew followed very reluctantly. "Hey Gilbert, this is Mattie. Mattie, Gilbert. Mattie is my boyfriend."

Gilbert turned around on the couch, leaning over the top. "Oh yeah? Huh, I thought that happy ending kid across the street was your boyfriend."

Alfred snorted loudly. "No, no, Kiku is just a friend."

Matthew felt a bit jealous and irritated that this guy had assumed Kiku was Alfred's boyfriend. He grabbed his sleeve a bit possessively. Alfred didn't seem to notice and Gilbert merely shrugged. "Ah, my bad. So what brings you here? You kids want a beer?"

Alfred shook his head. "No thanks, not today. Er, you didn't want one did ya Mattie?"

Matthew quickly shook his head. He didn't think he wanted anything from this man, who he decidedly disliked based on first impressions.

"Well, suit yourselves." He handed a magazine he had been looking at to Matthew. When Matthew looked down at it he saw it was for weird things like leather outfits, sex toys, and who knew what else. He dropped it as if it had burned him and Gilbert cackled loudly. "Goodness, he's an innocent one isn't he?"

Alfred rolled his eyes but didn't seem particularly disturbed by any of this. "You're just mean. Give him a break, hm? Not everyone is a pervert like you."

Gilbert laughed again. "Talking about perverts, so I had a client yesterday, this woman who was just getting into the scene, right?" He paused and gave a sly smirk to Matthew. "Being a Master is my career of choice. Better than a mechanic like Ludwig. So boring. Anyway, so this girl right? Gott I hate fresh meat. She had no idea what she liked, had some kind of weird daddy complex, and I swear she used her safe word fifty times. If she ever tries hiring me again I'm going to give her a safe word like Worcestershire or Alleinvertretungsanspruch. See how many times she can say that eh? Oh, I have to tell you about this client I had last weekend. Weirdest kink ever!"

Matthew cleared his throat, not at all comfortable with this conversation. "A-actually do you think I could get some water or something?"

Gilbert gestured with his chin. "Yep, help yourself."

Matthew left the room, glad to be away from Gilbert and that video that his eyes kept getting pulled back to. It was so embarrassing. He definitely did not want condoms from this creep. Honestly he expected a nightmare when he reached the kitchen but it was surprisingly clean. The fridge was decently stocked (particularly with beer but with edibles as well) and when he started looking through cupboards for glasses they had things he hadn't expected in the least. Powdered sugar, flour, vanilla extract. He didn't know if he found it soothing or creepy.

Finally he located a glass and filled it at the sink, drinking it down in nearly one go. He couldn't remember Alfred ever really talking about these neighbors. Then again, Alfred didn't talk about other people much. He might mention them when it was relevant but he rarely brought them up himself. Matthew drank another glass of water, idly petting one of the dogs, Aster was it? The other two dogs intimidated him a little bit. This house was way too manly.

Reluctantly he returned to the living room where Gilbert was thankfully not talking about his client with the weirdest kink ever. Unfortunately he was talking to Alfred about condoms. Alfred smiled at him. "Hey, do you have any preferences in condoms? Gilbert has just about anything."

Gilbert grinned smugly. "Yep. Extra thin, ribbed for his pleasure in this case, flavored, colored, glow in the dark, extra lubricated...Or maybe you're a brand man? Have a certain kind you like? I'm all ears kiddos."

Matthew turned bright red. "I...I don't know just...normal kinds." He was even worse than Papa! All Matthew wanted to do was leave. "Wh-what kind do you usually get Al?"

Gilbert got up and Matthew was surprised to see that he was shorter than them. "No worries, I'll make you a fun pack!"

His laughter could be heard down the hall and Matthew began to speak in a soft voice. "Alfred, I don't feel comfortable here. Is this necessary? I mean, he's really strange."

Alfred hugged him. "Aw, it's alright Mattie. I know he is pretty weird but he's not a bad guy. We've hung out tons of times and he's really interesting and he's met a lot of cool people. Has some hilarious stories, too. He's just into a different lifestyle that's all. His brother is too, though he does it as a hobby rather than a career."

The dogs ran to the door again, barking sharply then whining happily. A moment later Ludwig walked in, speaking affectionately to his dogs in German. He glanced at them, saw the TV, turned as red as Matthew had, and hurried over to shut it off. He turned back to them and cleared his throat. "...I apologize for my brother and anything he said or did."

This was directed at Matthew. After all, Alfred had been coming over long enough there was no apology big enough to excuse everything he had heard his brother say or seen him do. Berlitz nuzzled Ludwig's hand and he started to pet his head absently. "Is there, er, anything I can get for you?"

Matthew could sense how uncomfortable Ludwig was with his presence there. He sympathized, knowing what it was like to have embarrassing relatives. "N-no, I'm fine. Sorry for intruding."

Alfred smiled and linked his arm with Matthew's. "We're just waiting for your brother to get something. We'll be out of your perfect hair soon."

Ludwig grunted. "If you say so."

He headed for the kitchen, the dogs trailing loyally after him. Matthew leaned against Alfred. "So...you're really friends with these guys?"

"Mm, well not so much with Ludwig. Though I can pretty much fix anything that's wrong with a car thanks to him. Gilbert yeah."

Matthew pursed his lips. "...Has he shown you a lot of this...stuff?"

"Stuff? You mean the BDSM? Well, yeah I guess so. Not really my cup of tea to be honest with you but it's interesting." He kissed his temple. "Why, did you like what you saw?"

The Canadian colored and glared up at him. "No, I did not."

Alfred chuckled. "I would be willing to try it out if you did. Just saying."

"Absolutely not," Matthew huffed. "I have no interest whatsoever."

Before Alfred could make another smart remark Gilbert returned holding a small, surprisingly discreet box. "Here's the goods. Remember to play hard and always have a safe word."

Alfred took the box as Gilbert cackled at his own brilliance. "Thanks a lot man. I owe you a favor."

"Anything to get a friend laid." He smacked Alfred heartily on the back and smirked at Matthew, who looked at the floor.

Ludwig came back in, cleaned up a bit, snapping angrily at his brother in their native tongue. Gilbert responded in a calm, joking tone. Ludwig yelled again and Matthew winced. He was so loud and scary sounding. Gilbert calmly patted his brother's cheek and Ludwig glared at him before moving to the couch, turning on the television and pushing a few buttons so it was the news and not some weird sex video. He opened a beer, immediately surrounded by his dogs again.

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "My brother, always worried. 'You fool, these are minors. Not only are you a bad influence but you're going to be arrested for perversion or something.' Such a silly guy eh? As if the awesome me could ever be arrested. I'm not doing anything wrong, you hear me Ludwig!"

"Shut up you idiot! Don't talk just to hear your own voice!"

Gilbert grumbled then smiled. "So, you kids should go enjoy those."

Matthew was relieved. "Yes, we should get going I think."

He started to tug at Alfred's arm when Gilbert reached out and tugged on Alfred's other arm. "Actually, mind if I snag your boy toy for a second? It won't take long. Who am I to deny a good sex romp eh?"

Alfred looked at Matthew inquiringly. "Is that alright with you?"

Perhaps if Matthew was more assertive he would have told him no, it wasn't okay. He wanted out of that house and he wanted Alfred in bed, away from these strange siblings. The words died in his throat and he smiled weakly. "Yeah...sure. I'll just be at your house."

Alfred tilted his head then smiled, kissing his cheek. "I'll be there really soon."

Gilbert grinned. "Thanks. See ya later...Mattie was it?"

"Yes...goodbye." And with any luck, they certainly would not see each other anytime soon. He waved and left the house with hunched shoulders as Gilbert tugged Alfred off somewhere. Matthew took a deep breath of fresh air as he stepped outside. He dug his hands in his sweater's pocket. He never should have brought up the stupid condoms.

As he approached Alfred's house the absurdness of Gilbert, of his career, of his stash of condoms and sex videos and magazines hit him. He began to chuckle and then laugh. How silly. Did people like that really exist?"

"What are you laughing about?"

Startled by the unexpected question, Matthew nearly tripped. He stopped dead and looked around. In the yard next door, a large pair of scissors in hand, a tall ash-blond man smiled at him. He had an accent too. Russian maybe? This was his first time seeing Alfred's neighbor on the left side.

Matthew blushed. He hadn't noticed anyone there. "O-oh um... I... w-was just thinking aboot-"

"Because you know, people will think you are crazy if you laugh when you are all alone like that." The man cut off the top of a half-dead sunflower and giggled. It sent a shiver down Matthew's back.

"O-oh. I...um, y-yes I...um yes." What was he supposed to say to that?

The man's smile widened and he held out the dying flower. "A comrade for Alfred's friend. You are...Alfred's friend?"

Matthew didn't particularly want to take the flower with half its petals browned and center nearly looking rotted but it seemed rude not to. Reluctantly he walked over and took the flower. "Um...th-thank you? Uh, y-yes I am."

Unlike Alfred he felt uncomfortable just saying 'I'm actually his boyfriend'. Besides, Alfred seemed to have a talent for knowing when to introduce him as a friend and when to introduce him as a boyfriend. Matthew preferred to play it safe.

The man cut another flower. "They will all be dead soon. A shame, da?"

The sunflowers were pretty well almost finished. Quite a sad lot, what remained. "Yes...well it is almost winter."

Violet eyes regarded him almost coolly. "...What a boring answer. You are not particularly interesting, are you?"

Matthew opened his mouth and nothing came out. Had he just been insulted? "Uh..."

The man's cheerful smile never wavered. "Have a nice day Alfred's friend."

Rapidly cutting a few more flowers and letting them lie where they fall, the man turned away and went back to his house without a backwards glance.

Staring in disbelief, Matthew finally blinked and walked slowly towards the house. That...had been odd. He looked at the dead flower and frowned. This wasn't turning out to be the best day. He definitely should have kept his mouth shut.

Sighing softly he walked into the house and threw the flower away in the kitchen trash, rinsing his hands. Just because he had taken the flower didn't mean he had to keep it. A comrade? What was that even supposed to mean?

~.

Alfred sat on Gilbert's bed, a variety of condoms splayed out behind him. Gilbert's room was weird, filled with things that would probably make Matthew pass out from embarrassment. Against one wall was a bookshelf filled with nothing but diaries that Gilbert had been writing since he was ten years old. Alfred had tried to read one once, but it was all in German. Too bad. Even his blog was in German.

"So, what's up Gil?" He liked Gilbert but right now he was feeling a bit impatient to get back to Matthew.

Picking up a pair of handcuffs and fiddling with them, Gilbert cleared his throat. "I've been thinking about telling Ludwig that we're half-brothers."

"The two of you are half-brothers?" That wasn't something Alfred had ever heard before.

"Ja, Mutter didn't want him to know. Of course it was too late to hide it from me but...I never minded."

Alfred's face became attentive. "But now you do?"

Gilbert twirled the handcuffs on his finger. "...No. Well, it's not that I care. It's just...if I tell him... Maybe..."

"Maybe he'll be more open to your feelings?" Alfred prompted gently.

Gilbert quickly scoffed, tossing the handcuffs aside. "Don't put it like that! I'm not some chick all doe eyed in love. Half-brothers isn't so bad as full brothers right? It's a thought."

'Well, how do you think Ludwig would feel about it?"

"I don't know. Probably upset. Maybe. It's so hard to tell with him. Unless he's angry he controls his emotions pretty well. It's just getting hard to hide it. I know it's fucked up, the way I feel about him. I dunno. I should leave it."

Alfred neither agreed nor disagreed, merely let the silence sit. And that's what Gilbert liked best about Alfred. He could bounce all his crazy ass thoughts off of him without being judged or lectured or told to get professional help.

After a moment he laughed. "Ludwig...would probably not like it much. After all, how heart breaking would it be to find out you were not one hundred percent related to the awesome me?"

"Mm. It's something you should definitely think about carefully."

Gilbert wiped his mouth. "...What if I told him we weren't related at all?"

Another deep silence. "Even I'm not that much of an asshole. Oh Alfred, how lucky you are to be young and in love with someone who looks exactly like you. Wish that was my lot in life."

Alfred threw a condom at him. "No way, Mattie is way cuter than I am. We don't look that similar."

Gilbert snickered and ruffled his hair. "Sorry to waste your time. Go get yourself a piece of ass while the getting is still good, ja?"

Alfred slicked back his hair and stood, lightly punching Gilbert's arm. "You've never wasted my time. Thanks for the condoms. Very much appreciated."

"Never a problem. You kids have fun." Gilbert winked and gave a thumbs up which Alfred returned.

On his way out he said a quick farewell to Ludwig and hurried towards the house. He didn't want to keep Matthew waiting too long. If he was even still in the mood. Oh he hoped he was. As he reached his house he vaguely noted that Ivan had dead headed his sunflowers. He didn't allow himself to dwell on it.

"Mattie! I'm back!" He burst into the house and started to search him out.

Matthew hurried over to him, smiling slightly. "Alfred...Um, I-"

Alfred threw his arms around him and kissed him. Matthew resisted a moment then kissed back, wrapping his arms around him. So what if some creep had said something weird to him? It's not like he had to sound like he was whining and bring it up right now. Alfred had said he had weird neighbors and today his point had been proven twice.

Once they were thoroughly breathless, Alfred pulled away, softly kissing Matthew's nose. "I'm sorry about that. But we have the goods if you still want to..."

Matthew tightened his grip and nodded, blushing softly. "I do."

They kissed one more time before separating and stumbling up the stairs like a pair of kids. Alfred closed the door behind them and pulled a condom randomly out of the box Gilbert had given them. He tapped the packet lightly against his lips. "So who's gonna wear it?"

It wasn't really like the two of them took note of who had been dominant last, merely switched off depending on what felt right at the time or who felt like it most. Though Alfred had to coax Matthew into it when they first started, so shy and inexperienced. And their last time, the very embarrassing experience that it was, Alfred had sort of played both roles.

Matthew sat on the bed, tugging his sweatshirt off and upsetting his glasses, which he pulled off and carefully folded. "Um...I don't mind if you wear it."

Alfred raised an eyebrow, kicking off his shoes. "Are you sure? These are your condoms dear heart."

Blushing softly, Matthew nodded. "Yeah... And they're ours."

He bit his lip softly at the use of the word 'ours' but it was true. Alfred froze and looked at him a moment, an odd expression crossing his face before he broke into a smile. "...Ours. I'll make sure to hide them better."

He removed his glasses and placed them on his desk then went towards the bed. Matthew reached up and cupped Alfred's face, pulling him closer for a kiss. As their lips met they lowered onto the bed, Matthew's legs hanging over the side. Alfred began to rock his hips and Matthew tightened his grip on him.

Alfred sat up and tugged his shirt off, throwing it away carelessly before attacking Matthew's shirt. He had it off a second later, hands sliding across Matthew's chest. He let his thumbs flick over Matthew's nipples, cocky grin in place. The Canadian squirmed beneath him, sensitive as always. Alfred loved it. After a moment he leaned in and grazed his teeth over one lightly.

"A-ah! Alfred!" Matthew arched up against him.

"Feeling kind of impatient? What do you want to do Mattie?"

Trembling, Matthew reached up and pulled Alfred down, kissing him sloppily. "N-now, please."

Too much tension had built up, their short adventure just aiding in building the desire. All Matthew wanted was to feel Alfred inside him, being close to him, doing things no one had ever done to him.

Grinning softly, Alfred ran his fingers through Matthew's hair, so much softer than his own, and sat up. "Alright darling, want to help me with this?"

He placed the condom over Matthew's belly button. Matthew rolled over, pulling himself up to his knees and grabbing the condom. He reached forward and unbuttoned Alfred's jeans, pulling them and his boxers down. Alfred kicked them the rest of the way off, letting them fall to a heap on the floor. Blushing softly, Matthew peeled the condom open and leaned forward. He gave Alfred's cock a few small licks, sucking lightly on the head for a moment before taking him further into his mouth. The moan Alfred let out satisfied Matthew quite a bit.

His lover fully hard, he pulled back and put the condom into place. "Th-there, all ready."

Alfred stroked his hair again, caressing his cheek. "How are you so fucking cute and sexy at the same time Mattie? It drives me crazy."

Matthew's blush deepened and he didn't respond. Alfred started to push him back against the bed, this time going the correct way. He all but ripped the other's jeans and boxers off, taking an extra moment to pull his socks off, as he had for himself. He preferred for them to be fully naked unless there was a reason. No point in being lazy.

Cursing under his breath, Alfred suddenly realized he needed lubrication. Making a quick search of his room he found some, thankfully—he would have died if he hadn't had any. He coated his fingers and smiled softly at Matthew, who was all flushed and looking thoroughly ready to be fucked. It was such a turn on it hurt. "Ready?"

Matthew nodded shyly, spreading his legs ever so slightly. Alfred finished the job for him, sliding a finger in. Matthew closed his eyes, wincing and trying to relax. Alfred made quick work of it, doing as little prep as possible with it still being enough that Matthew wouldn't get hurt.

Replacing his fingers with himself, he slid in gently, slowly. Matthew gasped and clutched Alfred's arm, chewing his lower lip. It was a bit uncomfortable. It really had been a while. He knew it would go away soon.

Alfred kissed Matthew, murmuring against his lips. "Ready?"

Matthew's only response was a nod. Alfred pulled out a bit then rocked back in, shivering slightly. "Oh god, Mattie, you feel so amazing."

At first Alfred's thrusts were shallow, slow. As Matthew began to adjust they deepened and sped up until they had a good rhythm going, bodies meshing together desperately. Alfred grabbed Matthew's leg, lifting it to get a better angle, going deeper. Matthew whimpered and ground his hips up against Alfred's. He wrapped his arms around the other's neck, back arching up off of the bed. "Oh s'il vous plaît, Alfred. Oui, je veux plus. S'il vous plaît me donner plus!"

Alfred leaned in and licked Matthew's neck, nibbling his earlobe. "Parlez vous American por favor."

Matthew snorted and pulled Alfred' face closer, crushing their lips together in a frantic kiss. If he was going to be saying ridiculous things he might as well put his mouth to good use.

Alfred smiled against Matthew's lips then kissed back just as fiercely. Matthew broke away as he came closer to climax, breathing heavily, nails digging into Alfred's shoulders. "Oh A-Alfred! Nn, Alfred...Yes!"

Matthew threw his head back, his body shaking as pleasure peaked and then left a weakening afterglow. He hung onto Alfred's back weakly as Alfred finished, grunting loudly as he came. He collapsed onto Matthew, snuggling against his chest. "Oh fuck Mattie, that was so good."

With fingers that still shook slightly, Matthew started combing through Alfred's sweat-dampened locks. "Yes...It was amazing Al."

Alfred ran his fingers idly down Matthew's chest and abdomen. "Even with a condom." A small laugh escaped Matthew and Alfred chuckled. He nuzzled the Canadian, softly kissing the slightly salty skin. "I missed being close to you like this."

Matthew smiled softly down at Alfred. "...Me too."

"Sometimes I wish we could stay like this forever. But that's..."

"Impossible?"

Alfred looked up at him. "Oh, I was going to say unsanitary."

Matthew blinked then began to laugh harder. "You're so strange sometimes Alfred. But I love you. So, so much."

Alfred took one of Matthew's hands and kissed it softly before lacing their fingers together. "I love you too, Mattie."

They were silent for a long moment, merely stroking one another from time to time. Matthew finally spoke in a soft voice. "I'll have dinner here. W-with you. Whenever you want me to."

"...Really? Will you really?"

Matthew squeezed his hand. "M-mmhm. Really. I...I love you and...and I'll just have to get over my phobia of Arthur."

For a second Matthew thought Alfred was laughing. And then with a start he realized he wasn't. "Al, are you...are you crying?"

Alfred pressed his face against Matthew. "Sorry, I'm just really happy."

Somewhat distressed by this strange reaction, he began to rub his back soothingly. "Please don't cry Alfred!"

Matthew frantically tried to quell his boyfriend's crying, perplexed by its very unexpected arrival, and Alfred smiled softly as warm tears slid down his cheeks.

And for the moment the dead sunflower was quite forgotten.

* * *

**Term Note:**

a Master - Male Dominatrix

**Translations:**

Alleinvertretungsanspruch - Exclusive Mandate

Mutter - Mother

Oh s'il vous plaît, Alfred. Oui, je veux plus. S'il vous plaît me donner plus! - Oh please, Alfred. Yes, I want more. Please give me more!

Parlez vou American por favor – Speak American please (French then Spanish - and Alfred is just being an asshole here as the U.S. has no official language)

**AN: **Lunarkitty15, I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter of Holiday to Hell~


	6. Chapter 6

Hellu~ Oh man, I have been so busy you guys! Moving into the dorms is a pain, but it's better than living at home -laughs- This chapter is like watching one big train wreck.

* * *

"Hey Arthur, Mattie is coming to dinner on Thursday." Alfred leaned against the door frame, arms crossed and looking in a direction that wasn't anywhere near Arthur.  
The Englishman glanced up from his paper, taken a bit off guard. He couldn't remember the last time Alfred had bothered to tell him anything. "Oh, that...friend of yours. Very well."

'That friend.' Alfred scowled. "Y'know, Papa was pretty disappointed you didn't come to dinner the other night. Bet he doesn't have a very high opinion of you anymore."

Arthur flushed immediately, hiding it behind the newspaper. "And why should I care what that man thinks of me? He hardly has a sterling past! And I wish you wouldn't call some random man 'Papa'. I know you deliberately do it to irritate me!"

"You don't know why I do anything," Alfred muttered angrily before storming away.

Lowering the paper again to glare at the spot Alfred had just stood, Arthur crumpled it up out of frustration and a lack of any proper channels to dispose of said frustration. That child was so damned ornery! He tried to straighten the paper out again rather unsuccessfully. As if he cared what that damned Frenchman thought of him.

Alfred went up to his room, the anger seeping away gradually. He was so excited for Matthew to come over for dinner. It would be one of the first times someone had done something purely for him. For his benefit and not their own. And he hadn't had to ask... Of course he wasn't ever supposed to ask, really. It was one of _his_ rules. But sometimes he couldn't help it. But Mattie had offered himself so it counted. It counted. It counted completely.

Alfred glanced out the window and paused. He began to rub his arm. The dead headed sunflowers... He bit the inside of his lip. More time, more time, he needed more time. Walking over to his desk he grabbed the red paint sample and stuck it in the window. Fourth consecutive time in a row.

It didn't matter. Matthew had asked to come to dinner at his house because he loved him.

Alfred closed the blinds.

Because Matthew said he loved him.

~.

Arthur rubbed his eyes as he sat in his car. What was he doing here? Not again... And so soon after the last time. Why did he have to be so weak? The engine grumbled at him, asking him to make a decision, 'Are you going in or are we leaving?'

Arthur stared at the bar, hating it, absolutely everything about it. Hated it because it made him hate himself. Hated it because it made him weak with all its tempting wares. Sighing heavily Arthur turned the key and the engine died.

'You can leave now,' A voice whispered urgently. 'Put the key back in the ignition, pull out, go home. Go home sober and for once have some goddamn dignity.'

And then twice as smooth, twice as seductive, 'But what can one drink hurt? Just one this time, no more. A single drink never hurt anyone.'

"Just one drink...This time I'll only have the one drink." Arthur opened the door, inviting in all the chill of outside. It had gotten colder lately and the sun was starting to set earlier and earlier. Winter was just around the bend. As Arthur stepped out of the car he pulled the collar of his coat closer. In the mixture of neon lighting and a few weak parking lot lights that occasionally flickered Arthur could see his breath.

Slamming his car door shut, Arthur heeded the sirens call and stepped into the bar. The interior was more inviting than the outside of the bar. It was impossible to loathe the inside. Here there was the familiar smell of alcohol, greasy foods, and cigarette smoke. Here the people didn't question or even pay much mind to anyone else. Here he was not judged, and here there was no shame. That came once he left and was once more faced with the outside.

Arthur walked over to a free stool. Now it was stifling and he unbuttoned his coat. Two stools down three young men spoke rambunctiously about a game on the television. He mentally corrected them that no, that was not in fact football they were watching. It was _American _football. Because God knew the damned Yanks had a love affair with doing absolutely everything wrong just for the sake of it.

A bartender walked over, gave a nod to the familiar face. "How goes it Arthur? The regular I take it?"

"Yes, thank you." A moment later a glass was in front of him. Whiskey, on the rocks.

"Shaken, not stirred," he said to himself with a wry smile before taking a drink. That pleasant burn, the immediate flush of heat, a welcome feeling of comfort. The feeling was reinforced as he took a second sip, a third. If his brothers knew how much he drank these days they would be furious.

Arthur raised his hand quickly for another without even thinking about it. The promise of just one drink had been left outside with the feeling of shame. They would both be collected to take home when he walked out the door. For now they were far away.

The second drink came fast. That was the advantage of being a polite regular that didn't cause problems. Sure he tended to fall into a weepy mess but he never started fights. And he tipped well. For all of that he received good service.

Licking his lips, he started to raise the glass when someone was suddenly taking the stool beside him. "Well, fancy seeing you here mon ami!"

Arthur froze and the drink was returned to the bar with a clunk. "F-Francis? What are...uh, what are you doing in a place like this?"

He winced as Francis's smile widened. "I could ask you the same thing. Ah, but I suppose there is much stress in your field of work even in a desk job. Nothing wrong with unwinding with a drink or two."

His eyebrow arched elegantly as he regarded the drink in front of Arthur. Arthur flushed, feeling immediately defensive. "Exactly! This is...it's just my first drink. I just stopped for a quick drink, that's all. I pay my taxes, I can get a drink after work if I please!"

Francis reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, tapping one out. The bartender came over but Francis waved him away as he lit his cigarette. He took a slow drag and released it into the air expertly before turning back to Arthur, who reminded him a great deal of an angry hedgehog. "No one said you couldn't mon ami! I was just thinking out loud. But what a coincidence we happen to be here at the same place about the same time! It is fate!"

Arthur gave him a hard look. "And pray tell, what _are _you doing here if you have no intention of drinking?"

Francis chuckled then took another drag. "Mm, Arthur dear, sometimes we must make fate work in the ways we want her to. It is much more convenient than hoping she does what we wish her to, non?"

"...So you're saying you're stalking me." Arthur was even more weary of this man than he had been before.

"Stalking? What an ugly word! Following with the intent of cornering and holding a very important conversation with I can see but that is a wee bit over dramatic don't you think? Really Arthur."

"Holding an important-? What are you going on about you daft fool? How long have you been following me, anyway?"

Francis shrugged. "Only today. I left work and happened to drive by your place of employment. What another wonderful bit of fate you were getting off at that time! I followed after you because I wanted to talk to you. Admittedly it was somewhat a whim as it did not occur to me it would most likely have ended up at your home and that wouldn't do. Not at all. Ah, and I lost you for a bit, but then as I was driving by I saw you had pulled over at this charming establishment. Fate strikes again! It has provided me with the perfect opportunity to speak to you in private. This moment was meant to be Arthur!"

Arthur stared at him, hardly believing what he was hearing. Francis was out of his bloody skull! "And what is so important to talk to me about that you felt you had to stalk- sorry, allow fate to intervene and follow me here?"

The sarcasm laced words did not make Francis so much as bat an eyelash. "I want to talk about your son, Arthur."

A chilling, withering look appeared on Arthur's face. "...Oh? What about my son?"

"I am sorry to say, and forgive me if this sounds like I am prying, but the two of you have some serious issues that need to be worked out. Alfred said to me that you have a tendency not to show up places when he needs you. When it is important. I find this most upsetting Arthur." Francis shook his head sadly.

Anger churned in Arthur's stomach, coiling like a snake. "No offense Francis, but it is hardly any of your business. There are times when I'm terribly busy and I do my best to-"

Francis reached over and tapped his cigarette over Arthur's glass, ash alighting atop the alcohol. "Was it not a drunk driver that was the cause of Alfred's parents' death?"

The inquisitive look on Francis's face infuriated Arthur further, made him sick. "What does that have to do with anything? I...I've never driven while intoxicated! And I hardly need a- Need some man whore judging me on the most presumptuous assumptions!"

A pause of silence followed and then Francis chuckled lightly. He took another drag of his cigarette, billowing smoke like a dragon. Who had ever heard of a French dragon? Francis reached over and put a hand over Arthur's, tightening his grip when the other tried to pull away from the touch. "S'il vous plaît, Arthur, do not get me wrong. I am not judging you. I am the last person to judge another as you have kindly pointed out. I am merely concerned with your relationship with your son. Surely you wish for him to be more than just your ward?"

"Of...of course! He's not some ward he's...He is my son!" The_ (American) _football fans looked over their way, disgruntled by the noise, then turned back to the game. Arthur lowered his voice. "He _is _my son and...and...I just don't know what to do anymore."

Arthur buried his face in his hand. He was too sober to be getting emotional but things had become frayed past the point he could tolerate it any longer and had been like that for longer than he'd like to admit. "Who am I bloody well kidding? We haven't talked, really talked, in years. Alfred hasn't seen me as a father figure for near four years now. If he ever saw me as one at all... It's hard, alright? I don't know how to talk to him and he doesn't much care to talk to me. But I don't need you barging in and suddenly thinking you can tell me how to magically fix everything. You who knows nothing about the situation, about Alfred, about me!"

Giving Arthur's hand a gentle squeeze, Francis spoke soothingly. "I am not doing anything of the sort. I was merely hoping to give some friendly advice, perhaps see if there was nothing I could do. Even just offer a shoulder or an ear?"

Arthur gave his hand an irritated look and snatched it away. "I don't need those things! All I need is-"

"Why are you so resistant mon ami? I am just here trying to help. Matthieu tells me things and me? I cannot help but be a little concerned. I am in no way judging you or saying I am a better parent, do not misunderstand me. I only wish to help you if I can."

Who was this presumptuous man? Thinking he could help Arthur when they barely knew one another. And why the hell was he so concerned with Alfred? For his son's sake? Who knew...that might be it. All Arthur knew was it irritated him. And all because it had gotten to the point where he _did _need help. It was a bloody mess.

"I really don't need your help, thank you very much. Alfred and I have some communication issues but it's hardly something you can do anything about." Arthur went to take a drink of his whiskey and scowled as he remembered that Francis had tapped ashes in it. For a second he was tempted to drink it despite this and forced himself to push it away.

Francis watched him out of the corner of his eye, letting silence hang over them for a while as he attempted and succeeded to blow smoke rings that floated away. To a better place, he mused dryly. Arthur twitched to buy a new drink but couldn't quite bring himself to do it while Francis was there. As if he would give himself away by taking even the smallest sip.

When Arthur was close to snapping to break the silence Francis spoke again. "You know...You are right. There is nothing I can do. Nothing at all to make either of you talk to each other. But there is something you can do. You know what that is mon ami? Talk to him. You said he acts up. That is a cry for attention, not rebellion. After all, if you're so distant what is there to rebel against?"

Arthur glared at him. Francis was really starting to get on his last nerve in the worst possible way. "Oh, you know this for a fact? You're the expert?"

Francis looked at him for a long moment then smiled and shrugged. "My mother was addicted to tranquilizers and medical cocktails she liked to concoct. My father was...well, not the best. I think I at least have a slight knowledge on the subject."

Arthur stared at him, unsure what to say. Sputtering over the unexpected revelation he finally spit out, "Are you trying to compare me to a...a drug addict?"

The words made Arthur cringe inwardly immediately. Such an offensive thing to say. As Francis stared at him with those bright blue eyes of his Arthur felt unease creep along his spine, carefully winding its way around each vertebra. A nervous, irrational fear that the word alcoholic was written across his forehead made him twitch uncomfortably.

Francis finally shrugged and smiled easily, putting his cigarette out in the whiskey. "Of course not! I was merely bringing up my own personal experience. I did so many things...So very many things I regret now Arthur. If only she had seen me." He looked wistful, almost bitter in the most tragic sense for a moment. "Talk to him. Alfred will appreciated it more than you know. And it's easier than you'd think. Over dinner tomorrow bring it up. Make him talk to you Arthur! About anything at all so long as it's about his life."

Arthur grasped at straws and finally caught one. "Tomorrow...Isn't your son coming over tomorrow? I am hardly going to have that kind of confrontation in front of him."

"Is he? I suppose he is...Well, I will tell him to reschedule. Dinner can happen anytime, oui? Use the time to talk to Alfred. You will not regret it, I promise you." Francis offered him an open smile. It pissed Arthur off.

"Why do you care so much? It's not even like it's any of your business." And he sure as hell wasn't Alfred's 'Papa' even if he called him that.

"Ah, well...I can't help but worrying when my dear Matthieu worries. And I do so very much like Alfred. He is a good boy. Polite and friendly...I saw what your son can be. Don't you want to see that side of him too? Because of you...I also want to help because it matters to you...Oui?"

The statement stole Arthur's words yet again. Francis was a word thief, leaving him speechless so often. He hated it tremendously. "...I think you're pretty bloody nosy and pushy. And I expect you to cover the cost of that drink you ruined. It wasn't cheap."

"Of course, of course." Francis reached up and gently patted Arthur's cheek. "Anything for you mon cher."

Giving the other man a look that could kill, Arthur pulled back. "I know enough French to know I don't want you calling me that."

"Oh no? You wound me to my deepest core! Very well, mon ami. I shall keep it at that for now." Someday he would use the other whether Arthur wanted him to or not.

Scowling fiercely, Arthur stood. It seemed that Francis would never leave of his own free will and so Arthur would. At least he had gotten one drink. It was hardly enough to prevent him from driving. And while he still itched, was just _dying _for another drink, it had eased the urge to a tolerable level.

"I will be on my way now. Goodbye Francis," Arthur said in an irritated, clipped voice as he dug some money out.

Francis lightly put a hand on his arm. "I said I would cover the cost of your drink."

Arthur's cheeks began to burn as they were stained with embarrassment. The worst part was that Francis looked rather like he knew the truth and was playing dumb. "Leave it and consider it a very good tip. Good night."

Throwing the money on the table, Arthur could not have left sooner. Francis watched him go then picked up the full glass of Whiskey. He swirled the contents so that the ice clinked against the edge of the glass and his cigarette sunk lower. A sigh escaped him and he set it back down distastefully. "Oh Arthur. I do hope things aren't as bad as they looked tonight."

Arthur stormed out to his car, struggling to unlock it then having an equally difficult time getting the keys in the ignition. Stupid bloody wanker, stalking him and acting like he knew absolutely everything about raising a child. He noticed his hands were shaking and he clenched the wheel to make them stop.

Taking a deep breath he buckled his seat belt and started the car. The radio flickered on and he immediately hit the button to shut it off. The sudden lack of sound was just as startling as the burst of music had been. Rubbing his eyes, Arthur quickly backed out of his spot and turned onto the main road. His eyes jumped to the rear view mirror repeatedly to make sure he wasn't being followed, every flash of headlights making him tense. Arthur dared not even stop at another bar. If that idiot showed up again... He had really wanted that second drink, too.

~.

Matthew stared at his father in disbelief. "What do you mean I can't go to Alfred's house tomorrow night? You already said it was alright!"

"I know Matthieu, and I am very sorry but you cannot now. Just reschedule. It can even be for Friday night. I don't mind, it simply cannot be tomorrow night." Francis gave Matthew that look that meant he was very serious about it.

"But...but...Papa, ce n'est pas juste! I told Alfred I would be there for sure tomorrow and he was really, really happy about it! You can't just expect me to suddenly cancel on him!"

"I know it is quite short notice and for that I am sorry, but I just so happened to run into Arthur tonight and we had a nice little chat and he's going to try and talk to Alfred tomorrow night. He can't very well do it comfortably while you're there, can he mon petit?"

"Well...Well why does it have to be tomorrow? He's had years to talk to Alfred and he hasn't-"

Francis cut him off sharply. "Matthieu! S'il vous plaît être raisonnable! And really, what kind of thing is that to say? You only know Alfred's side of things."

Matthew rarely got upset at his Papa, embarrassed all the time sure, but this...This was one of the rare times where his father's meddling and know-best attitude really got to him. "What, and you had a long heart to heart with Arthur in which he spilled everything to you? I'm sure you just shoved him into doing it. You always do weird things like this! I know you're trying to help but you're just going to make things worse!"

"I am going to do no such thing. I know what I am doing and those two need to communicate with one another! And so if I gave them a little push, so what? If that's never going to happen otherwise then so be it! I shall shove them if I must. Tell him you have to cancel for tomorrow night and then reschedule for as soon as you wish. And absolutely do not tell him why. Arthur won't stand a chance if he's expecting it. It's only dinner Matthieu, I am sure he will understand."

Matthew glared at him for a long moment. This wasn't fair at all, not to him or Alfred. Papa did have a tendency to step in because he thought he knew everything and Arthur... Well, Arthur had messed up with Alfred, badly. Of course he thought they should try and talk and work things out but it wasn't fair to just spring it on Alfred like a trap. "If things go really badly I'm going to tell him this was all your doing!"

With that he stormed off to his room, slamming his door behind him loudly. Angelique came out of her room, looking at Matthew's door with upraised eyebrows then sought out Francis. "Papa, Papa, did something happen? Why is Matt all angry?"

Francis reached over and stroked Angelique's hair. "Nothing mon ange, don't you worry about it. We were just having a bit of a disagreement. Don't bother your brother about it, hm?"

She began to twist the end of one of her pigtails around her finger. "Oh...Okay. Um, Papa? Have you seen my phone charger? I really, really need it soon. My phone is going to be dead by tomorrow for sure and I can't find it anywhere!"

Gasping, Francis struck a dramatic pose. "Oh non! La tragédie, l'horreur! What shall Angelique do without her cell phone?"

Giving him a very sour face, Angelique harrumphed. "Well if my phone shuts off and I get into an accident and can't call the police and then I die it won't be so funny I'm sure."

Chuckling softly at his daughter's wonderfully simplistic crises, Francis shook his head. "That is quite the dramatic story but I will keep an eye out for it. You know, if you hadn't insisted on that fancier phone and had just gotten the same kind as your brother you could be borrowing his charger right now."

"Pft, whatever. Matt's phone is lame. I'm going to my room to look again." Angelique turned, back straight with all the self-righteous dignity of a thirteen-year-old girl.

"Your homework better take precedence over looking for that silly charger young lady!"

"It's done," she whined before finally escaping back to her room to tear it apart just one more time to look for it.

Francis rubbed his temple and went to pour himself a glass of wine. Children... It seemed they could be blessings or terrible headaches, and quite often were both at the same time.

~.

The next day at school Matthew was oddly quiet. He was always quiet in general, but there was a distinct discomfort to his silence. While Alfred noticed it offhand, usually would have asked about it, he was in too good of a mood to quite bring himself to. He doubted it was anything too bad if Mattie didn't spit it out directly.

And poor Matthew, he felt so sick, so guilty, he had a hard time bringing the problem up with Alfred. He had _cried _when Matthew said he was going to come over for dinner for god's sake. How could he just... Matthew was unbelievably upset and frustrated with Papa. He didn't know Alfred the way Matthew did. He didn't know that this was more than just dinner. And while Matthew himself didn't quite know why it was more than just dinner, he knew it was.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and Matthew jumped. Alfred laughed and threw his arm around him. "You're so spacey today. If you aren't careful you're gonna trip! What's the matter, freaked out over Arthur still? You really have nothing to worry about, I promise."

Matthew built up his nerve, pulling Alfred away from the flow of students heading to after school activities, home, or wherever their young hearts lead them. "A-Al, I have to tell you something! Papa, Papa he-!"

As Alfred looked at him curiously, nodding a bit to encourage him, Matthew's will started to falter. What would happen if he went home with Alfred? Would Arthur decide not to talk to him? Would he sit through it? Either way it was sure to be uncomfortable. But what if he didn't go and Arthur didn't even bother trying?

"Yes? What about Papa?" Alfred tilted his head inquiringly.

"Um...P-Papa said...I mean he...wants me to...h-help out with some things tonight so I can't come!" The words were blurted in a rush and Matthew almost gasped. No, no that wasn't what he had meant to say! Flustered, he sputtered a bit as he watched Alfred's face fall. "I-I mean I- I can come over-"

"Another time right?" The words were soft and oddly cutting. Alfred did not look mad, look upset. Merely gave Matthew that smile again...The one suggesting he had just failed something. That smile made Matthew sick to his stomach.

"N-no! I mean, I can...It's not like that Alfred, I can-"

Alfred cut off his babbling. "Papa needs your help right? If it can't be helped, it can't be helped. No big deal."

As he shrugged Matthew felt a pressure on his chest...panic maybe. It was a big deal, he knew it was. "Whatever it is I'm sure it's not that important. I mean, maybe I can come over and eat and then leave a little early. That could-"

"I said no big deal Mattie. Don't feel like you need to push yourself so hard. Nothing to get stressed over. Just dinner...That's all. We'll reschedule. Right?"

Even as Alfred smiled Matthew could feel the distance growing between them, sense the detachment from the other. He was upset, really upset. "But I-"

"But what? You can't help it. Let's maybe try for this weekend or early next week. Sound good to you?"

No, it didn't sound good at all... Now that Alfred had gotten into this defensive state he wasn't likely to accept any of Matthew's excuses. He had really messed up and he prayed silently for the last five minutes to do over again.

"I...I can..." Matthew hugged himself, feeling like an idiot, feeling pathetic. "Yeah okay. C-call me tonight. We can pick a new night and...and talk." About whatever might have happened with Arthur.

"Mm, right. Will do. Well, I'm going to get going then Mattie. Talk to you later." Alfred leaned forward and kissed Matthew on the forehead. With a smile and a wave he quickly turned and started to walk away.

"B-bye!" Matthew watched him go, feeling like he should go after him. He felt frozen, stupid, useless. Papa wasn't right about this, he just wasn't. Matthew had an idea that it would be a disaster. All he could do was hope Alfred forgave him for this. Maybe...maybe it was in his head and he was the one blowing this out of proportion... He hoped so, God he hoped so.

~.

As Alfred got closer to home he stopped and just stared at the sky for a long time. At the last moment Matthew had chosen someone else over him. Whether he was telling the truth or whether he had just freaked himself out, he had put someone over Alfred. It's not like Alfred expected to always and forever be the top person in Matthew's life... He wasn't even asking to be that person frequently or even every so often. Just once...One show that Matthew had done something purely for Alfred and that he was the only person he was thinking of in that instant...

Alfred sighed loudly and miserably made his way home. He'd get through it. Maybe Mattie couldn't help it. They would talk, would choose another day...It wouldn't be the same but it was something at least. Though he would have to pretend that it didn't hurt as much as it did. But he was good at hiding things.

Entering his house Alfred felt extraordinarily pissed off at no particular thing so much as the house overall. Sometimes he wished this place would just burn to the ground or get swallowed up in an earthquake. This house had ruined everything.

Trudging upstairs Alfred hid away in his room, blinds closed. For a while he thought about things, lots of things. Eventually he slid to the edge of the bed and hung over the side, peeking under it. After some groping and stretching he reached a box. It was covered in dust which he let happen on purpose. Taking the lid off, he peered into a box filled with old papers. Not interesting or eye catching in the least. Nothing even the proudest parent would look at for the sake of it. Honestly he was amazed Arthur wasn't so incredibly violating in privacy that he wouldn't have gone through it page by page anyway to find the book—the very boring looking book with a bland cover—that was hidden at the bottom.

Pulling it out, Alfred stared at it like an adversary. Reluctantly he cracked it open, eyes scanning the pages. Rather than typed text, after the first few false pages of boring teen fodder there was pages added in, all handwritten. The lettering was a bit clumsy but far better than his own. The pictures were put in nicely though. Overall a pretty well crafted item. Reading it depressed him. By the time Arthur came to tell him dinner was ready he was in an even worse mood.

Quickly putting the book back under the papers then shoving it far under his bed, Alfred got up and headed towards the door. For a moment he paused, hand on the doorknob. Why bother? What was the point of going downstairs at all? He could avoid Arthur altogether... With a sigh he opened the door. He was hungry. He'd eat then escape back to his room.

Acting spectacularly unhappy to be where he was, Alfred slumped into a chair at the dining table and began to put food on his plate. Arthur looked at him sharply as he always did but didn't say anything. Good. All he wanted was to eat and get away from him.

For a while it went according to plan. The two ate in silence, barely acknowledging the other's presence. Though it was odd, Arthur wasn't even being naggy. Oh well, it was for the best.

Alfred was mid-bite when Arthur finally cleared his throat and spoke. "...So your...friend didn't end up coming after all."

It didn't sound like a question. What the hell was that supposed to mean anyway? Alfred lowered his fork and stared hard at Arthur across the table. A few moments later he swallowed what was in his mouth and spoke. "No, he couldn't make it. And he's my boyfriend, Arthur. He's my boyfriend, not my friend! We're in a relationship, we whisper sweet nothings to each other, we regularly fuck, so stop calling him my fucking friend! It really pisses me off! Just because you have a problem with it doesn't mean you can ignore it away!"

Instead of exploding at him Arthur took a deep breath and spoke as evenly as possible. "I...I'm sorry. Your boyfriend. Really, that sort of language isn't necessary, though."

Alfred was taken off guard. Had he just apologized? "...I don't see why the fuck I shouldn't talk this way."

Cringing only slightly Arthur met Alfred's eyes. "Okay. I can look that over for now. It's just not...It's not pleasing to the ear. But we won't argue it one way or the other. Tell me...How...How are things at school?"

This was getting stranger and more awkward by the second. "...School. Why? I haven't been in any fights recently, gotten so much as a warning for anything as piddly as tardiness, and my grades are just peachy. So what's up?"

This was why it was so exhausting for Arthur to try and talk to Alfred about these sort of things. "I would just like to know. Are you...enjoying your classes?"

"They're classes. Why are you asking me this shit? Seriously Arthur, what is going on?"

Arthur looked down at his plate and took a calming breath. "Nothing is 'going on' I am merely trying to hold a conversation with you. I do not think it would kill us to attempt it from time to time, mm?"

Alfred's look of irritated confusion started to melt into anger. "...You have got to be kidding me. Don't try that with me. We haven't had a conversation or an attempt at a conversation in ages unless you want to count our screaming matches. What is this anyway? How dare you try to pretend to be vaguely interested in my life out of nowhere! Who do you think you're impressing anyway? Sure as hell not me!"

Arthur slammed his hand against the table. "Would you stop that? You always act like I never try, like I never have tried! I've tried so bloody hard it hurts! You...Why can't you meet me half way? Why won't you tell me anything?"

Alfred's hands clenched into fists. Arthur wasn't just bossing him around, he was trying to get at him, the reasons why. _Please, please make me tell you._

"I don't meet you half way? Give me a break! You're the one who's always working, skipping out on functions and meetings and anything else that is important to me! Then you always expect me to do things like call you dad. As if I would! You haven't earned the title!"

"Whenever I try to reach out to you, you push me away. It's frustrating Alfred! I've tried to be your father but you don't want me to be! I'm doing my best Alfred, so tell me where I went wrong?"

_Please make me tell you, please, keep yelling, keep begging, just make me say it. Don't give up. Break through my defenses. Prove it, prove that you care. Prove it, prove it, make me say..._

"Well? Do you have no comments? Nothing? Talk to me Alfred, please!"

_Please...Please...Make me confess..._

"Talk to you? You want me to talk to you?"

Arthur looked up, green eyes beseeching. "Yes! Anything! Let me into your life, even a little!"

_Please love me...Remember a time when you still loved me._

"And what do I have to say to a fucking alcoholic like you?"

_Please? _

Whatever spark had started to appear in Arthur's eyes died. "...I don't know why I bother trying. Honestly I don't. It's obvious there's no one else in the world you'd rather talk to less than me."

Alfred felt whatever had been welling up inside him, hope or anticipation or something else, disappear. Of course...Of course he knew it. Whatever Arthur's reason for making this attempt, it was shallow at best. For show, nothing more. There was no depth to his pantomime emotions. A sunflower through and through.

"Fuck you."

Arthur stood abruptly, mouth opening. A tense moment passed and then Arthur closed his mouth, the anger still lurking beneath the surface. Shaking his head he muttered, "You can clean up tonight."

And with that he left the room. Alfred stared at his plate, anger and frustration building. He hated it here. He hated it so much. Violently shoving his plate away, Alfred stood and walked to the front door, leaving the house and stepping into the cold without so much as a sweatshirt.

He pulled out his phone, hitting buttons with shaky fingers. "Please...Please pick up Mattie."

~.

Where was it? Matthew looked around his room frantically. Where had his cellphone gone? There was a good chance Alfred would be calling soon and he couldn't find it anywhere. Frustration clenched around his heart in something that was nearing panic. This was so bad. Where had he put it? He could have sworn that he had put it down for just a minute but where?

Matthew systematically checked each room, even the bathroom, and still could not find it. Finally he got desperate and knocked on Angelique's door.

"Come in!" Matthew all but threw the door open. Angelique was on her bed, a math textbook opened out in front of her. She tapped her pencil against a notebook as she looked up at him. "Hey Matt, need something?"

"Angie, have you seen my cellphone? I've been looking for it everywhere." His eyes roamed the room as if he would see it.

"Eh? No, haven't seen it, sorry bro. You should be more responsible."

Matthew rolled his eyes. He wasn't in the mood for this. "Could you call it for me?"

Angelique shook her head. "Sorry, my phone died ages ago and I still haven't found the charger. Too bad Papa isn't here, you could use his."

This was one of the only times not having a house phone was obnoxious. Francis preferred all his calls go directly to him and as they all had cellphones he couldn't see supporting the cost of a land line too. Usually it wasn't a big deal but now...

"Mm, well please let me know if you remember seeing it somewhere." Matthew left the room to go look everywhere again.

Angelique waited a moment then pulled out the cellphone hidden beneath the pillow she was propped on, quickly dialing a number. "Hey, sorry about that...Yeah he's gone. No it's fine!...Haha totally...So what were we talking about- Oh wait just a sec."

Incoming call? Angelique looked down at the cellphone. Alfred was calling. Ooh, too bad. She really liked Alfred a lot but of course he would be calling for Matt and she had some serious stuff to talk about, like how Amy had totally just stolen Nicole's boyfriend for revenge of the time Amy had taken _her _boyfriend that Nicole had totally already dumped for the guy she was dating who Amy had just stolen.

"Sorry Al, Matt can talk to you in the morning." She pressed ignore then put the phone back to her ear. "Sorry about that! It was my brother's boyfriend...Ew! Of course I don't know if they've done it yet! I don't want to know that, you're so freakin' gross! Pervert...Mmhm, sure. Anyway, back to Amy and Nicole!"

Angelique giggled, stifling her voice as Matthew desperately searched for his missing cellphone in vain.

~.

"U-um, hello, you've reached Matthew...Matthew Williams Bonnefoy and- Angie cut it out! And um, if you could please leave your name and um, number...That would be appreciated!"

There was a beep and Alfred pushed the end call button. He stood in the cold for a long time waiting for the phone to ring, for Matthew to apologize for not picking up immediately. The thought to call back occurred again and again but his fingers wouldn't do it. He wanted Matthew to contact him. To show that he cared enough to be the one to call back.

It was really cold. Alfred watched his phone get blurrier and blurrier through the tears that welled up in his eyes but he refused to let fall. Finally he decided he was done waiting. Taking off his glasses, he wiped his eyes impatiently and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. Feeling misplaced anger towards his phone, he turned it off and shoved it in his pocket.

So now what? His teeth were beginning to chatter but he didn't want to go back inside and Matthew wasn't even a comforting voice on the other end of a line. Alfred could probably go to Kiku's house but he wouldn't. He never did. By the time he decided where he was going he realized he was already headed in that direction, towards the backyard of the other house next door.

It only took a moment to climb over the fence. Of course he could have opened the latch but habit and ceremony dictated he climbed. He wasn't worried about being spotted. It was night and it was a new moon. It was so dark he could hardly see.

Finding himself in front of that door after he had avoided it for so long, had finally felt like he was escaping its hold bit by bit, was a painfully disheartening thing. With a deep sigh Alfred knocked, the act oddly painful from the stiffness of his chilled hand.

There was a moment of waiting, but only a moment. Ivan never made him wait too long. The door creaked open, warmth and an odd mixed smell of foreign food, vodka, and something musty wafting out. Alfred stared hard at the ground then slowly looked up at the taller man, meeting his violet eyes.

"It has been a long time since you have come to see me."

"...Yeah."

"But, of course, I knew you would come back sooner or later. Please, come in Alfred." Ivan stepped back and, hugging himself tightly, Alfred stepped in. With a pleasant smile, Ivan closed the door behind him and put a hand on the back of his neck, caressing it gently before leading him further into the house.

* * *

Translations:

Ce n'est pas juste! - It's not fair!

S'il vous plaît être raisonnable – Please be reasonable

mon ange – my angel

Oh non! La tragédie, l'horreur! - Oh no! The tragedy, the horror!


	7. Chapter 7

Why did he even bother to try anymore... Why?

Arthur took a deep drink from the whiskey bottle and all but slammed it back down. An alcoholic... So maybe he was. It had been an on again off again problem for him since his late teens. For a while it had really eaten away at his life... And then he had gotten himself straightened out, got his life back on track.

A good deal had been thanks to Alfred's father, his roommate for three years at the University they had both attended and his personal savior. The man had possessed a way of speaking, reaching someone, touching the very core of a person. Sometimes Arthur saw a glimmer of that in Alfred but it was only in flashes. Alfred kept himself so locked up from him.

It hadn't always been that way. When Alfred had first come to live with him, Arthur had been completely sober with no lapses. Any drinking he had done was with his brothers, who carefully monitored how much he drank and were quite violent about cutting him off should he try to drink too much. It had been working out so well. So well...

This bloody country. Why had he decided to move here? A part of him had truly thought... Perhaps the child he loved so dearly would want to return to his homeland, the place where he was born, where his parents had grown up. Now he couldn't even remember what had put the idea in his head. It was one he deeply regretted.

For some reason he might never know, a distance had gradually grown between the two of them and that chasm had allowed his siren to whisper sweet nothings in his ear until he had weakened, had become its slave once more. It disgusted him and he knew he should get help but forever persisting were thoughts like 'It won't happen again', 'Next time I'll only have one drink', and 'I'm not even close to as bad as I was before, I don't have a problem _yet_'. Shameful... disgusting...

Tears welled up in Arthur's eyes and he wiped at them. He loved Alfred so much and yet he could never seem to escape that hideous, persistent thought, '_I've already lost him._'

Tonight seemed to do nothing but reinforce that. This was all that damned frog's fault! That bastard...Francis... Why had he listened to him? Preaching at him, acting like he was the end all of parenthood. And worst of all he had let Francis kindle within him that vague, stupid hope that maybe Alfred didn't hate him. That just maybe he wanted Arthur to be part of his life. That had certainly been slammed back in his face. No, he would never listen to that man again so long as he should live.

Picking up the whiskey and taking another drink, Arthur walked over to his desk and pulled one of the bottom drawers open. Inside was a photo album, the cover a pale, fading blue. He pulled it out and sat down, the bottle within easy reaching distance. He flipped through the well worn pages, staring at photos taken years ago in England. When things had been alright between the two of them...

Even in some of their earliest photos, when Alfred's smile had been absent completely, there would be the smallest details that Arthur had poured over lovingly. The small hand clutching at his sleeve or pant-leg, the way he clung to him, or shyly peeked at cameras from behind him. As the smile gradually returned and the shyness burned off the affection only increased. And where had that all gone?

Arthur had no bloody clue. But he could feel it like a weight on his heart. That bond he had thought to have grown so strong, without his knowing when or why, turned out to be quite delicate indeed and had simply snapped.

~.

Following Ivan further into his home, Alfred kept his eyes on the larger man's back. There was nothing in this house he hadn't seen a thousand times before. And if there was something new his eyes would jump to it almost instinctively, as if sensing its unfamiliar presence. They ended up in a kitchen that was almost identical to the one in his own house. It seemed sparse though, and lacked that infuriating over obsessive cleanliness Arthur insisted upon when he was around.

Moving aside some junk mail, Alfred hauled himself onto the counter. The first time he had sat there he had been so small he needed Ivan to lift him up onto it. How tall he had grown since then... And yet the Russian almost seemed to tower over him as much now as he did then. "Did I interrupt your dinner?"

Ivan glanced at the sink, which contained at least a week's worth of dishes... which still did not amount to much considering they were that of one man. "You know I do not like to eat late. Are you asking because you are hungry?"

Alfred shook his head and glanced away. "No... I was sort of eating dinner and... well, I'm not hungry anymore."

"I see." Ivan opened a cupboard and pulled out a half-full bottle of vodka. He opened the cap and took a drink. His eyes slid to Alfred again and he shook it. "Do you want some?"

"Mm... That brand you get is weird, I don't like how it makes my lips tingle."

"So you do not." Ivan started to put it back.

Alfred straightened a bit. "I never said that."

Turning to look back at him again, Ivan shrugged then brought him the bottle. Irritated by how much his hand shook, Alfred took too big of a swig and coughed. He hated doing that in front of Ivan, who seemed to drink vodka as easily as water. Ivan gently pried the bottle from his fingers without waiting to see if he wanted to try again.

Just as Alfred had complained his lips started to tingle. God he couldn't stand that feeling. "...Arthur and I got into a fight again."

Not looking at him, Ivan put the bottle away. "Mm?"

Alfred looked down at his hands, studying them. "...I dunno, it was weird this time though, because... Out of nowhere he was acting like.. like he actually cared y'know? It was...weird. Been a long time since he... Well I mean he didn't really, he gave up pretty quick but..."

"It is expected that Arthur will attempt such things from time to time. Society all but dictates that to put up the appearances of a caring father figure he must do such a thing. But of course that is all it is for, appearances. After all, he hates you."

Alfred slowly rubbed his arm. "I know..."

Ivan crossed the small space and brushed a hand through Alfred's hair. "And yet you continue to let yourself be hurt over it. I suppose it is hard for you."

"I don't... It just annoys me! I couldn't care less about him or what he does! I wish he would stop pretending is all, it's really..." It gave him too much false hope.

"It does hurt you, though." Ivan ran a finger gently down his cheek. "It is only natural. You are capable of deeper emotions than that so it is inevitable that you will suffer in silence as the sunflowers of this world think only of their own needs."

The words were familiar and oddly comforting. Not so much for their content as the worn feeling they had, like a book that has been read again and again. "It did...it does...hurt." Alfred wanted to avoid Ivan's eyes but knew he would be lectured if he did. Instead he did the next best thing, shifting the topic from himself. "You dead-headed the sunflowers..."

"Da...It was time. I gave one to that new friend of yours. Did he like it?" Ivan's eyes seemed to flash.

Face paling, Alfred stared at him. "You...You've met Mattie?" He inwardly cringed as the nickname fell from his lips and his heartbeat seemed to go into overdrive. "Er, h-he... he didn't mention it...What did you, um, say to each other?"

"You do sound so very nervous Alfred, is something the matter? All we did was talk about, let me think... I was just warning him that people might think he was crazy if he kept laughing to himself for what appeared to be no reason. And we talked about sunflowers. He confirmed that the two of you are friends... You are just friends, da? I am going to say I have seen the two of you together enough that he is the reason you do not come to see me anymore."

Alfred could hear the blood pounding in his ears. "Just...friends. I mean... Sorry about that I've been busy and, er, yeah, we're just friends-"

"You know, Alfred, I notice that you always close the blinds when he comes over."

Alfred's mouth felt dry. "...There's no particular reason, I just close them."

"Da? Alfred, I know you have some strange and occasionally questionable taste in companions," such as that revolting Gilbert, "but I found your friend to be quite boring. Nothing like you. He is not even particularly attractive."

Biting the inside of his lip hard, Alfred tried to take a subtle and calming breath. "Some people say we look exactly the same."

"And those people are obviously blind."

"...How can you say he's...he's uninteresting out of curiosity. The two of you couldn't have spoken for very long."

Ivan shrugged. "His response to the death of my sunflowers was along the lines of 'it cannot be helped, it is almost winter'. What a typical response. Honestly, Alfred. He is a sunflower, you can tell just looking at him. Do not tell me you think you will find some sort of salvation in him."

"I...I'm not allowed to have friends? He-"

Ivan reached up and grabbed Alfred's chin, meeting his eyes. "Please do not think you can ever keep things from _me, _Alfred. Do not even dare to make such an insulting assumption. I have endured your infidelity time and time again. Starting with that Kiku boy. It is only natural someone as young as yourself should desire to experiment with different partners and I silently allow it. Yet you always seem so hopeful in sharing your body. What do you think you receive from any of them but meaningless pleasure? It is a lie, they give you nothing and only take. They take your sympathy, your kindness and compassion, your body, and in return they give you empty words and burdensome secrets. That is all they ever do Alfred, why will you not admit it already? They are sunflowers. We...We are above their petty, empty lives. Only I can truly understand you, truly love you. Alfred dear... Call off the bet and submit to me."

Alfred had made a mistake. He shouldn't have come here. What was he thinking? That moment of weakness, of needing someone that understood... "He...He's different. Matthew isn't like that."

The grip on his chin tightened. "Then why are you with me and not with him right now?" A sting of tears came to Alfred's eyes suddenly and he bit his tongue. It didn't matter, Ivan didn't need him to answer. The silence was all he needed. He loosened his grip, stroking Alfred's cheek once more. "People like that...they say lots of things. And the sad part is half the time they actually believe they mean it. But it is in their actions that we see the truth, da? If you do not wish to call off our bet, that is alright. There are only a few months left at this point. Alfred... Why do you wish to hurt me so in the meantime? Surely you will not say you hate me?"

"No," Alfred whispered softly. "I don't hate you. I just want..."

Ivan's hand slid down Alfred's chest slowly. "I know what you want. I just do not understand why you wish to obtain it in such a way. You do realize if you win it would mean I will be perceived as a criminal, da? They would not understand, not like you do. They are blind. Or is that it, you want me to be arrested due to their ignorance?"

"No...That's not it, I..." He shifted as Ivan started to unbutton his pants. Hand trembling he reached over and rested it on Ivan's head, fingers gradually brushing through his hair. Ivan wasn't in a good mood. "...Are you terribly upset about your sunflowers then? Every year... I swear. I keep telling you, they're just going to dream for a while. And then they'll wake up in the summer."

Pausing, Ivan looked up into Alfred's eyes, his smile seeming to grow. "That is a beautiful answer." He leaned in and kissed Alfred softly. "You are different. Why must you always waste your energy on the others when I have told you this time and again? How much must I say it, there are two kinds of people in this world. Sunflowers and..."

"Gardeners," Alfred murmured. He knew. It was all but carved into his heart.

"That is right. And the latter are so very difficult to come by. " Ivan finished unbuttoning Alfred's pants, pushing his shirt up to trail kisses down his stomach.

"I-Ivan wait, you don't need to- I don't... That's not necessary." Alfred's hands flitted uncertainly over the other's head.

Pausing to look up at him, Ivan licked his lips thoughtfully. "Tell me what has been going on in your life. Tell me how have you been feeling, what have you been thinking. The things that you do not say to anyone else. I miss the sound of your voice."

With that he went back to his task, stroking him through his boxers. For someone who protested so much he certainly came alive rather quickly under his ministrations, the older man mused cheerfully. Ivan started to tug down Alfred's boxers, making direct contact.

Swallowing hard and biting back a moan, Alfred turned his head to look at a picture on the wall. It was a mosaic sunflower that Ivan had received from his younger sister as a gift perhaps five years ago. A little after they had made each other's acquaintance.

Voice shaking slightly, Alfred started to speak. His thoughts, his observations, his feelings...the ones that remained locked up tight in his throat, waiting for someone to ask to hear them. The only time he usually ended up releasing them was around Ivan. It felt good, was a relief to get to say some of them. Mixed with the physical pleasure as Ivan's warm mouth began to brush against him, it created a surreal feeling, a twisted euphoria.

But he kept the things about Matthew, both the beautiful and the painful, firmly to himself. He had given Ivan other people before, given him the very ammo he would later use to rip them to shreds, words that dripped like poison into Alfred's ear. He would not allow the same to be done to Mattie, who was completely his. Who, despite being as disappointing as all the rest, was still far too pure in Alfred's mind to be allowed to be dirtied by his or Ivan's tongue.

A tear slid down Alfred's cheek uninhibited, slipping over his chin to trickle down his neck with the light beads of sweat that were forming there. '_Why didn't you answer the phone?' _

As Ivan began to suck Alfred's words became punctured by small hitches and noises. And still he persevered, eyes filled with the image of the sunflower. When was the first time Ivan had ever done this? Mm, a little after his fifteenth birthday, that's right. Because that's about when he started messing around with Kiku. He had learned from someone after all...

The flow of words were abruptly cut off as Alfred let out a soft cry, fingers clutching at Ivan's hair as his body tensed. "N-n-..."

Calmly walking over to the sink and spitting, Ivan rinsed out his mouth then dampened a cloth. He brought it over and began to dab at Alfred and a spot on the floor after a quick examination. Alfred watched him through lowered lids, stomach churning uncomfortably even as his groin continued to tingle pleasantly.

Giggling, Ivan nuzzled Alfred's nose affectionately with his own. "It did not take you long."

Alfred's face flushed and the pads of his fingers dug into the sharp edge of the counter. "Hmph..."

Ivan kissed his lips lightly and reached up to caress his neck. "You had a lot to say. Look at what you are doing to yourself, repressing all of that in hopes that someone will for once not disappoint you. It breaks my heart that you abuse yourself in such a way when I am always here to listen to you. Youth is such a folly...But it does make you endearing I suppose." Ivan kissed him again, another affectionate gesture. His touches spoke of nothing but fondness and possessiveness.

"You should tell me something, too." Alfred wished Ivan would stop kissing him. He tasted too much like that vodka he didn't like. But despite everything he was always morbidly curious about the things Ivan had to say.

"Oh?" Ivan put a few steps between them and looked around the kitchen as if it held some golden piece of knowledge. Violet eyes finally settled back on sky blue. "Yao and Mei are getting divorced."

A shock went through Alfred and for a moment he was taken out of his own misery by the unexpected statement. "Divorced? Really?"

"Mm, Yao was talking to me about it about...oh, two weeks ago. Maybe three. They intend to wait until Kiku has chosen a University. Once he has moved out they will go through with it but they do not want to...how did he put it, disrupt his learning environment with such stormy conditions."

"No way... I wonder how he'll feel about it?" Kiku wasn't overly fond of either of them—though Alfred had always felt he was very unfair to Mei who did her best—but they were still like his parents. Maybe he wouldn't care but it was hard to say with the quiet boy...

Ivan reached over and pressed a finger to his lips. "Remember, it is a secret."

Alfred shook his head almost impatiently. "I know, I've never blabbed anything you've told me yet."

Or anything else really. Alfred was a treasure trove of blackmail material and so was Ivan. Perhaps even more so than himself. He knew _adult _secrets.

"Still...that's pretty crazy. Guess I can't say I'm surprised really. They do fight all the time... I feel bad for Mei. She's nice."

"She is pathetic." There was not a note of sympathy in Ivan's voice.

That was perhaps where Alfred saw the greatest distinction between the two of them. Ivan might consider them on the same plane, as 'gardeners', but Ivan was calculating and cold with his knowledge while Alfred was generally sympathetic even if he didn't always actually care about who he was talking to. Sometimes Alfred speculated over whether Ivan had once been more like he was and people had stolen more and more of him until there was simply no sympathy left to give to any of the 'sunflowers'. He was too afraid of the answer he might receive to ask.

"Mm...I guess Gilbert is actually Ludwig's half brother." The words were out before he realized what he was saying. But Ivan was the only one he could talk to about that kind of thing. Still, it was a bad idea to bring up that particular name.

Ivan's smile became a great deal colder. "I do not care about that German idiot. I find him repulsive. If I ever so much as suspected you of letting him have his way with you I would break his neck. But I know you are much smarter than that, da?"

"I wouldn't sleep with Gil... And he's not that-" Alfred closed his mouth as Ivan's expression further darkened. There was no point in it really. Best just not to mention him at all. "Okay, okay, sorry I brought him up... Mm... I feel better now."

Ivan reached up and stroked his hair. "Do you? I am glad."

Alfred's gaze wandered almost drunkenly as he tried to avoid eye contact. "I...guess I could go back to the house. Just avoid Arthur."

By the smile that twisted Ivan's lips again they both knew he would not be leaving that night. He cupped Alfred's cheeks. "Do not think I am going to let you go so easily now that I actually have you here. We should make up for lost time."

After a pause Alfred gave him a tired smile. "I guess I can stay for a little longer."

Even he didn't know why he bothered pretending anymore.

~.

Matthew hugged a stuffed polar bear that had been a gift from his mother when he was little. It was a bit worn but had been his companion through every rough patch he had suffered since he received it; from scraped knees to desperately lonely nights when friends were nothing more than a pleasant dream.

He had looked everywhere a thousand times, where had his cellphone gone? He had promised... He had promised Alfred he would call. Now he had broken two promises. Alfred was sure to hate him. And if he had tried to call it probably seemed like Matthew was avoiding him. Why hadn't he just gone to a neighbor's house to use their phone? Even if he had seemed crazy... It was far too late for that now.

Tomorrow Matthew would just apologize like crazy, explain everything. And hopefully... hopefully he would forgive him. Sniffling against dingy fur, Matthew pulled his bear closer. "Please forgive me Alfred...Please."

Matthew started crying softly, muffling the sound almost completely. He had mastered the art of it long ago. He didn't know what he would do if Alfred hated him when he loved him so much that it almost hurt. He wasn't sure he could take it. At the very least he hoped that the talk with Arthur had gone well, but if not...

From somewhere in the house there was suddenly sound in the former silence. Papa must be home. A part of Matthew couldn't help but wonder whenever he was out late if he was working like a dog to make ends meet or if he was with someone. Both were equally likely, no matter how much Papa tried to hide it. Whether he smelled like someone else's cologne or perfume the next day, Matthew always noticed.

Matthew wiped away the tears to at least try to make out the numbers on his digital clock, wondering if he should borrow Papa's phone. Ah, but it was pretty late now. Alfred would probably be asleep. Which he should try to do, really. The sooner he went to sleep the sooner the next day would come and as terrified as he was at least he could see Alfred.

With the remnants of drying tears on his cheeks, Matthew snuggled his polar bear and closed his eyes. He would hope for the best. It was all he could do.

And so with great difficulty Matthew finally forced himself to fall into sleep's troubling embrace.

~.

A gasp escaped Alfred's lips as Ivan removed the fingers he had been using to stretch him. "I think that will be good enough. I hope your body is still used to me, it has been a long time."

Alfred craned his neck, looking over his shoulder at Ivan as he panted softly. "Try not... to be too rough."

Ivan trailed his fingers along Alfred's back lightly, enjoying the way the muscles moved beneath the skin as it arched, shoulders shifting at the touch. "Perhaps I should not be, as punishment for your ignoring me."

Holding his head in that position was giving Alfred a crick in his neck and he looked down at the beige pillow in front of him. "I would prefer you didn't... Please?" Bruises... Bruises were bad. "Please don't..."

Making a thoughtful sound, Ivan began to press into Alfred, grabbing his hips and pulling him back against him. Alfred cried out and clutched at the sheets, breathing heavily as his body tried to adjust to the sheer size of him. Alfred had never quite understood the sentiment 'bigger is always better' ever since his first time with Ivan. Even now he found it uncomfortable despite the preparation and lubrication. He let out another grunt as Ivan pulled out and pressed back in. "Too fast?"

"J-just...give me a-aah a second..." Taking steadying breaths, Alfred tried to make himself relax more. Ivan began to stroke his lower back and hips soothingly. Chest still heaving, Alfred finally nodded his head once then let it hang.

Fingers still dancing along Alfred's skin, Ivan began to rock his hips again, slowly at first but quickly increasing the pace. He couldn't be too nice to Alfred after all. It was so hurtful when he avoided him, no matter how determined Alfred was to win their bet. He couldn't understand why. After all, Ivan was so very willing to provide Alfred with all the love he would ever need. Real love, not the shallow words and actions offered by other suitors. For some reason the youth seemed to have trouble grasping that concept, though he understood Ivan's life philosophy quite well.

It didn't much matter in the grand scheme of things, no matter how frustrating it was. Once he had inevitably won, Ivan would never allow another to tempt his Alfred with false love ever again. He had already done a brilliant job of breaking what few bonds might have once been strong enough to keep Alfred from being his. The two of them belonged together and Ivan would assure that nothing got in the way of that.

The sounds Alfred made, mixing with the creaking of the bed and his own harsh breathing, were beautiful. Soft gasps, deep moans, half-sobs that sometimes melted into the sound of his name. Oh Ivan loved it best when his name was forced from those lips.

This body that he ravaged with such intense lust belonged to him and he knew its each and every weakness. Where to touch, to lick, to bite. He could, and did, make Alfred sing to the heavens whether he wanted to or not.

A fine sheen of sweat coated their bodies, making it harder to grip Alfred. Ivan abruptly pulled out and flipped Alfred over, pushing him onto his back. Alfred stared up at him, looking a bit dazed. Ivan ran a hand lazily down his chest before grabbing his thighs and entering him again in one abrupt thrust. Alfred's head snapped back against the pillow and he cried out. It was truly a beautiful sight.

Ivan stared intently at Alfred's face as he writhed and arched beneath him. Letting out a sound that deliciously resembled a whimper, Alfred weakly reached up and put his arms around Ivan's neck, grinding up against him. "Ah- ah! Ivan!"

With a final roll of his hips Alfred came, fingers clutching at damp skin. Smirking a bit Ivan continued to press relentlessly into him until he reached his own orgasm. For a moment he remained suspended over Alfred then slowly lowered himself, resting his head against the other's chest.

Alfred stared at the ceiling, fingers automatically moving to stroke through Ivan's hair. Resigned sorrow filled him and he hated himself intensely. All he wanted was to be tangled cozily in a blanket with Matthew. His body was already starting to ache.

Ivan started to cover his chest with small, lingering kisses. He paused above Alfred's heart and licked the spot before sucking on it. Alfred looked down at him in alarm. "What're you doing?"

Sucking a moment longer, Ivan finally broke contact. "Is something the matter?"

"Y-you aren't supposed to leave hickeys..."

"Nyet, I am not supposed to leave hickeys in immediately visible places. No one should see you here easily... Why, is there a reason you do not want me to leave one? Perhaps you are worried about that 'friend' of yours seeing it? But I cannot help but wonder, if he is truly just your friend, why he would care even if he did?"

Alfred inwardly cursed and bit his bottom lip. Ivan was great at doing shit like this, backing people into corners. If Matthew saw it... Worry churned in his stomach. Then again, with the way Matthew was acting... "... He wouldn't, he's just a friend, like I said."

With that he let his head fall back against the pillow. Ivan laughed softly and resumed his work, not stopping until there was a large, agitated mark. Satisfied on multiple levels, he finally got off of Alfred and took his place beside him, wrapping his arms around the other's waist to bring him closer. "I have missed holding you."

Alfred was silent but pressed his face against Ivan's chest. In the end there was a certain comfort he got from the older man, who had acted often as a mentor and greatly influenced his way of thinking and viewing the world. As much as this man sometimes frightened him, and as powerless as he could make him feel, there was genuine affection on both their ends. Having been jilted by Matthew twice on the same day, once when he really needed him, it was hard not to want someone to hold him.

~.

The sky was a strange color. Like a muddled deep gray. Too early to be morning, too late to be night. A twilight zone of sorts, a lost hour that most dreamed away. Ivan slid from the bed, pulling the blankets over his young lover and leaving a small kiss on his forehead. He would return to him in time but he felt a restlessness and had to work it out of his system.

Walking completely in the pale darkness, Ivan found his way to the kitchen. Without turning on any lights he grabbed a pomegranate from a bowl then retrieved one of the largest blades from a knife block. Humming softly he began to cut off the top of the pomegranate.

This Matthew... Alfred did not talk about him much. That had never happened before. Oh he had not pushed the issue too much but it was... troubling. Yes, troubling. If that boy interfered with what he had spent years working on...

Ah, but he was a gardener and Matthew, no matter how bothersome he might be, was merely a sunflower. It was only proper that someone like Ivan should be well acquainted with the concept of nipping things in the bud.

Ivan lightly licked the edge of the knife as he reached down to dig out a pomegranate seed. He would watch and wait and see how things progressed. Perhaps the issue had already cleared itself up. Time would tell if Matthew was a sunflower that needed to be cut down for good.


	8. Chapter 8

Omg guys, school is kicking my ass so hard you don't even know. It took me forever to finish this between classes and homework -dies- Congrats to x-cheshire-puss-x for being my 100th reviewer. Umm I haven't heard back from my translators so I can't guarantee the translations are correct in this but they will be fixed once I hear back from them.

Also I really love everyone's different reactions to the characters! It's so interesting to see who people sympathize with and who they don't~

* * *

Arthur stared into the empty room. It really shouldn't have been a surprise that Alfred had never come home last night. He never did after their fights. And yet he always gave him the benefit of the doubt. Sighing heavily he closed the door and pulled out his phone. Maybe this time he would at least be able to locate him.

Glaring at his contact list, Arthur began to rub his temple. He had a horrific hangover. That shouldn't be much of a surprise either. He'd been drinking more than usual these days. No good, no good. Not that he had a _real _problem yet. Hitting the send button he leaned against the wall and waited wearily.

~.

Francis stifled a yawn, staring blankly into the refrigerator. The last thing he felt like doing was making breakfast let alone cooking all day. Especially after yet another long night of agonizing over expenses. He wasn't pulling in as many costumers as he had hoping he would be by now. There was nothing to it but to keep going forward, one day at a time.

Angelique squeezed past him, grabbing the milk. "Papa, you're letting all the cold air out."

With a small smile Francis shut the fridge door. "Sorry, I was hoping to make things a little more comfortable for the penguins I have hidden in the cereal cupboard."

"Sure Papa." Angelique rolled her eyes then reached over and opened said cupboard that had a distinct lack of penguins.

"Oh dear, they have escaped! Watch your toes my angel!" As his daughter groaned to herself about having such a weird dad, Francis's phone started to ring. Who called so early in the morning? Ah, the adorably grumpy Arthur apparently. "Bonjour! How are you this fine morning?"

There was an icy silence and then, "Not particularly well. I am merely calling to have you inform Alfred that I expect him to come home promptly after school. He is decidedly grounded."

Francis raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Grounded? Why, what has happened?"

Oh didn't he just sound ever so shocked. "Alfred was incredibly uncivil towards me during a fight we had. A fight that occurred thanks to your horrible advice! It was a total fiasco! And when I went to...check up on him sometime last night I discover he has run off again. I can only assume he went to your house."

It clicked into place in Francis's memory that last night was when Arthur was supposed to have had his heart to heart with Alfred. Which it seemed had gone up in flames. Though honestly Francis couldn't begin to imagine if it was more Alfred's fault or Arthur's. "I am terribly sorry to hear that! These things take time though, I am sure if you continue to try and be open with one another-"

"Oh shut it Bonnefoy! Stop talking as if you're the expert on parenting! I was far better off never having listened to you and I never intend to make that mistake again! I have no interest in your smug superiority. I just want you to tell Alfred what I have told you!"

Before Francis had a chance to respond to the unnecessarily nasty comment Matthew came in looking rather unrested and upset. "Papa? Sorry to interrupt but have you seen my cellphone? I've looked everywhere and-"

"Excuse me for a moment Arthur. Matthieu, did Alfred come over last night?"

Matthew looked at him, eyes widening slowly but surely. "...No, he didn't. Why?"

A sharp frown came to Francis's lips. "Arthur, Matthieu says that Alfred never came over last night. He isn't here."

There was a pause followed by a heavy sigh of frustration. "Where does that boy get to? I swear... Please have Matthew tell Alfred what I said if he bothers to show up at school then. I have to get to work. I don't have time for this. Goodbye and thank you for nothing."

Well that was one of the most insulting phone calls he had ever received in his life. And he had gotten quite a few. There was no time to dwell on that though. More importantly it seemed Alfred was missing.

Matthew looked at him, concern growing. "Was Arthur calling to ask if Alfred was here?"

Francis shut his phone and put it back into his pocket. "Oui, it would seem so. It appears their bonding conversation did not go very well and ended up in a fight. Sometime last night Alfred ran off and Arthur thought he came here."

Matthew ran his hands through his hair. "No, no, oh no, this is all because I didn't have my stupid phone! Where did it even go?"

Angelique, cereal getting soggy as she watched the drama unravel, found herself going a little pink. "...I... I mean... I borrowed it last night. I...I didn't think it would be a big deal. You almost never use your-"

Matthew rounded on her so fast it made her flinch. "You stole my phone and then you lied about it?"

She winced, not liking the sudden negative attention from her usually overly passive brother. Her tone was defensive but shaky. "Y-yes. I mean, I said I didn't think it was a big deal!"

"What is wrong with you Angelique? Do you even know what you've done? Alfred was supposed to call me last night if things went badly! Now it seems like I totally blew him off twice! If he hates me it's all your fault you! It better have been the most important phone call of your life Angie. You're such a bitch!"

Both Francis and Angelique were taken aback by the exclamation, the latter bursting into tears. "Matthieu! That is no way to talk to your sister!"

Matthew snorted loudly. "Don't you even talk to me either! This is your fault too Papa! If I had gone to dinner like I was supposed to this wouldn't have happened. You don't even know how important that was to him! You always think you're right about everything all the time! If Alfred hates me it's just as much your fault! I don't want either of you to talk to me!"

Matthew ran from the room to go find his cellphone, no doubt buried somewhere in his sister's things. Francis hugged Angelique and stroked her hair. "Shh, mon angel, do not cry. He was upset, he didn't mean it. However, that was very bad of you to do you know. Why would you steal his phone?"

"He never uses it and I just- I didn't think it would be a- a big deal! I didn't know Papa!" She pressed her face to his chest. A sick feeling was beginning in her stomach that she always got when caught in lies or mischief.

Francis knew he would have to come up with some punishment, though he grimly acknowledged the truth of Matthew's accusation against him as well. His intent had been purely good but it seemed he had not gauged the situation properly and a miscalculation that had hurt his Matthew occurred.

After a couple minutes of frantic searching Matthew finally found his cellphone peeking out from beneath Angelique's pillow. He quickly snatched it up and saw there was a voicemail. "Oh please, oh please..."

The pleasant robotic voice told him he had one unheard message. There was a second of silence and then the call was ended.

"No," Matthew moaned miserably and looked at missed calls. It had definitely been Alfred. He quickly redialed, holding his breath.

It went straight to voice mail. "Hey, this is Alfred F. Jones! ... Kirkland. If I let the phone ring I'm doin' my thing! Leave a message and I'll get back to you later."

Voice trembling, Matthew waited for the beep then spoke, "Alfred... Alfred please, please call me back! There's been a horrible... a horrible mix up! I'm so sorry, so, so sorry! Please call?"

He pushed end then pressed the phone to his forehead, sniffling softly as tears welled up in his eyes. He felt absolutely sick to his stomach. Would Alfred let him explain? Would he forgive him? Hopefully at school he could at least try to tell him what had happened. Matthew rushed to his room, shoving his shoes on and snatching up his backpack.

He rushed right on by Francis, who was trying to get his attention. "Matthieu, I-"

"I'm going to school now." Matthew's voice was distant, desperate.

"Let me give you a ride-"

Matthew slammed the door behind him. Even if he had to run to get to school on time he refused to have anything to do with Papa right now. Francis sighed. It's very rare that he had problems with Matthew, almost unheard of. It made it that much harder when it did happen.

~.

Alfred wasn't quite sure what it was that woke him up. The blinds were closed tightly, no chance of light streaming in. Silence hung in the room like a corpse. Perhaps it was the sense of wrongness of waking up in someone else's room. Or maybe it was just the dull throb in his lower back. It didn't really matter.

For a while he just lied there, not even bothering to try and find out what time it was or dragging himself from the comfort of the covers. For now he was alone but he was starting to remember far too clearly the events of last night and he clung to the blankets as if they could stave off the truth.

With a low groan he gingerly sat up, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again he did a quick scan of the room. His clothes... They were no longer thrown wherever they had landed last night. Ivan must have taken them. He did that sometimes, when he wanted to ensure Alfred didn't slink off while he was, say, in the shower.

The clock near the bed was not digital but traditional and it took Alfred a few moments longer than it normally would to figure out the time. He had missed his first few classes and it would be halfway through lunch by the time he got there if he left immediately. Was he even interested in going to school? Not a chance in hell. But Matthew... he wanted to see Matthew terribly. If nothing else just to see what excuse he came up with.

The door creaked open and Alfred looked over, his movements sluggish. Ivan stood in the doorway, head tilted to one side. A smile flicked to his lips as Alfred turned his gaze onto him. Closing the door gently behind him he walked over to the bed, sitting down. "Kak dela?"

Damn, how was he supposed to remember Russian after just waking up? Alfred thought for a moment then said with a somewhat clumsy accent the first appropriate answer he could think of. "Khorosho."

Ivan seemed relatively pleased with the response and held out a bowl towards him. "Khochesh' granat?"

"Uh..." The words fell apart in Alfred's mind, which was already resistant to the language to begin with.

When it became apparent that Alfred didn't know what to say Ivan pushed the bowl of fruit into his hands. "How do you expect to get along in Russia if you cannot even speak the language?"

Alfred shrugged one shoulder. This was not the first thing he wanted to talk about first thing after waking up. Especially on the morning after all that shit from last night. He was feeling depressed about the whole thing. "You would be there."

"Not always. Honestly, you are hopeless." The words are a purr, as if they bring more satisfaction than they should imply. "It is because you have refused to visit I have not been able to go over things with you. I doubt you practice on your own."

Instead of answering, Alfred began to dig out some of the small red seeds, eating them. They were a good ratio of bitter and sweet and stained the tips of Alfred's fingers red, like blood. Actually pomegranates freaked him out a bit. All those seeds, like a thousand red eyes. Watching Persephone as she doomed the world to winter.

As he ate Ivan watched him, still and silent, as if he were the most fascinating thing in the world. He never could read his face more than to get a vague idea of what murky things might dwell beneath the surface of those calm amethyst eyes. It unnerved him.

Once most of the seeds had been picked clean Alfred spoke, voice soft. "Where are my clothes?"

"Mmm... So long since we have seen one another and you think of your clothes. I put them away. Why?"

Alfred knew this was where he had to be delicate and word choice was vital. "I though I should probably go to school. I'm already pretty late."

Ivan coaxed the bowl from Alfred's hand and put it aside. He stroked the teen's cheek gently then put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back onto the bed. "I do not think such a thing is all that important in the big picture. You have suffered emotional and physical stress. It would be best for you to stay here. Besides, I wish to look at you."

Ivan liked to look a lot. Sometimes for an hour or more, just silently staring at him, as if each look was an intimate caress. Alfred had tried to understand it, much like he tried to understand many things the older man did. He'd tried it out on Kiku (like a lot of things) and had managed to make him relatively comfortable with eye contact between them. Still, he could not figure out how to invoke the magic Ivan got from it.

"I'll be fine. And I can always come back later." It was a thin attempt and Alfred knew already Ivan wouldn't go for it.

"There is no need when you are here now. Stay, rest, and we can practice Russian." Ivan did miss speaking it terribly and the occasional phone calls from his sisters didn't quite cut it.

Alfred brought his fingers to his lips and idly sucked on them, getting any sparse traces of juice. Ivan had been teaching him Russian ever since they had started their bet. He still wasn't very good and doubted some lessons now would amount to much by his eighteenth birthday. "Do we have to?"

Ivan giggled softly and leaned forward, kissing Alfred's forehead. "Do you wish to get your clothes back?"

A defeated sigh left Alfred and he shrugged. "Fine."

"That is the spirit! We do not have to start immediately. For now you may feel free to finish waking yourself up and maybe take a shower. I am going to go take care of the dishes for now." Ivan stroked Alfred's cheek again before standing, bowl in hand.

Alfred watched him, limbs heavy. He could probably find some of the man's clothes, throw them on, attempt to sneak past Ivan then escape back to his house to change. Yes, he _could _do that. But he knew he wouldn't. If he got caught the consequences would be too great. He would be at Ivan's whim until the other let him free again.

Ivan paused at the doorway, giving a final glance to the youth on his bed. Alfred looked lovely when he was brooding. He smiled quietly to himself. It was hard for Alfred but in the end he would come around. All Ivan wanted was for Alfred to see only him. That was hardly too much to ask of him.

~.

By the time Matthew arrived at school he was about ten minutes late to his first class, something barely noted by his teacher. He didn't share any classes with Alfred until the end of the day and so he kept the hope going that he would be able to catch him later, seeking him out desperately between classes.

Once lunch hit he hurried over to Alfred's locker, waited a while, then sought him out at the cafeteria and their normal hangout places. Where was he? Surely he had come? His heart began to sink more and more. Finally he spotted a casual friend of Alfred's that he had been acquainted to. He helped Alfred study around finals or something like that. It was worth a shot and Matthew timidly walked up to him.

"H-hey, um..." For a moment he couldn't remember a name and then he grasped it from some far strung corner of his memory. "Eduard?"

The boy turned, eyebrows upraised. Once recognition flickered in his eyes he smiled. "Oh. Hello, um, Matthew?"

"Yes, Matthew. I was wondering if you've seen Alfred at all today?" Even he knew how desperately hopeful his voice sounded.

Eduard shook his head, looking regretful at having to do so. "No. Well he wasn't in our history class anyway. I thought he might be skipping out but he hasn't done that in a while. Maybe he just didn't come today?"

Matthew sighed as any ember of hope was snuffed out. "Right... Thanks."

Alfred hadn't even come to school. This was worse than he thought. So what should he do? If Alfred didn't answer his phone and he was currently missing there was no way he could reach him.

"Is everything alright?" It was obvious to Eduard that something was wrong and he remembered how Alfred had been before he'd met Matthew.

"Please don't...worry about it." He smiled weakly and started to back up. "Thank you... he must not be here."

Eduard tried to say something but Matthew abruptly walked off. Eduard frowned and watched him disappear into the crowd. He hoped everything was alright.

Matthew found a quiet corner and tried calling Alfred again, a small sound of despair escaping him as it went straight to voice mail again. When it beeped his voice shook. "Alfred... Alfred I... I know I messed up really badly. Please, please when you get this call me? God I'm so sorry. So sorry Al-"

His voice cut off and he hung up. Matthew covered his eyes and struggled to keep from crying.

~.

Ivan returned upstairs once he had the dishes soaking in the sink and paused at the bathroom door. The hiss of the shower could be heard. With a satisfied smile Ivan returned to his bedroom and opened a drawer, pulling out Alfred's pants. He dug out the cellphone from the left pocket and turned it back on. Ivan had a certain hunch he thought was at least worth checking out. After a few moments the screen popped up soon followed by an alert saying Alfred had two new messages.

Humming softly, Ivan dialed for voicemail. There wasn't even a password to protect it. It was too easy. He listened through the messages that Matthew had left, smile turning to something more like a smirk as it went on. His suspicions were confirmed. He didn't have the full details but something had gone wonderfully wrong last night, no doubt what had brought Alfred to him in the first place.

Ivan cheerfully deleted both of the messages.

Now came the trickier part. After a bit of playing around he found Alfred's contact list, selecting the only 'Mattie' listed. In all honesty Ivan was not fond of cellphones and he despised the idea of texting. The buttons were often too small for his fingers to comfortably type things out. He would prefer a traditional phone call any day. But cellphones gave so much more information than most people seemed to realize and in this particular case it would be to his benefit. Working slowly, he typed each letter out carefully before pressing the send button.

_Stop calling_

Perfect. Satisfied with his work, Ivan waited ten minutes, fifteen... There was always a risk one would come later but when he didn't get a response in that time frame he deleted evidence of the text as well and turned the phone back off. In a moment it was slipped innocently back into the pocket, the pants carefully put away.

Ivan cocked his head to one side as he heard the faint sound of the running water being shut off. With a silence that was surprising in consideration of his size, Ivan made his way back downstairs to finish with the dishes. He was hoping that he had just bought himself quite a bit more alone time with Alfred.

~.

When Matthew's phone buzzed at the received text his English class had just started. Sinking low in his seat he discreetly pulled his phone out. No one so much as glanced in his direction. There were some benefits to being virtually invisible. His heart seemed to stop then tighten when he saw it was from Alfred. Chewing his bottom lip roughly he opened it.

At first he looked at it without really comprehending what he was reading. The two words just... they didn't make sense. Surely those words didn't belong right next to each other. Not when sent from Alfred. With great reluctance they became more and more comprehensive. Stop calling... Alfred didn't want to even talk to him, hear his reasons.

Hands trembling Matthew raised from his seat. Finally there were eyes drawn in his direction, lighting up curiously as if seeing him for the first time. When the teacher called to him he did not answer, did not even hear the words. All he knew was that he had to leave. Without a word he left the classroom, walking swiftly to the nearest bathroom.

A jockish type bumped him roughly as he was exiting and didn't bother to apologize, instead telling him to watch where he was going. He might as well have been speaking to the air. Matthew heard none of it, didn't even feel it. Delicate things inside him were cracking and he didn't know what to do.

No one else was in the bathroom and he took the farthest stall, locking it behind him. He leaned against the door, holding himself tightly. Did Alfred really hate him that much after last night? It was a misunderstanding, that was all! Something so stupid, something that wasn't even their fault shouldn't be the thing to ruin their relationship. Especially when up until now it had seemed so strong.

In his mind's eye a memory plays, a pretty woman who looked just a bit like him hands him a bear in replacement for a mother and Papa holds him afterwards telling him not to think about it. Matthew looked up and tried to blink away the tears that were starting again but it's too late. They roll down his cheeks and refuse to be stopped. Not so easily. It's never that easy, is it?

~.

Matthew melted into the crowd of students trying to escape from their daily prison or rushing off to clubs and sports practices. He let his hair fall forward to hide how red his eyes were. Even if he hadn't he doubted anyone would see. They never did.

He hadn't gotten far from the school when he was startled by a car horn. He instinctively looked up and saw Papa pulling closer to the curb. "Matthieu! Matthieu, get in the car please?"

Matthew tried to ignore him, walking faster, pressure building in his chest. Francis continued to follow him, pleading with him to get in the car. Finally Matthew abruptly made a move towards the car, almost falling into the front seat. Francis looked at his son, the red rimmed eyes. "Matthieu? Qu'est-ce qu'il s'est passé?"

Matthew had thought he had gotten it all out in the bathroom. It seemed not. He threw himself against his father's chest and began to sob into it. "Papa, il me déteste! Alfred hates me!"

"Chut... C'est impossible! Comment pourrait-il te détester? Didn't you tell him it was all my fault?" He would gladly take the blame, take it a thousand times more if it meant not seeing his little boy in pain.

Tearfully Matthew shook his head. "He wouldn't even let me explain! He just... Oh Papa! Je ne sais pas quoi faire!"

Francis fiercely hugged Matthew, ignoring the cars that honked at his sitting halfway in the road. All that mattered was comforting him. He stroked Matthew's hair and tried to think. "Right now... Right now I am sure Alfred is just very upset. You must have a little patience and then... Well, I am sure he will come to his senses. Who could hate you? You will see. Give it time."

There was still anger towards Papa but also a deep gratitude that he could cry to him like this, be comforted. All he could do for now was desperately cling to the idea that he was right, that once Alfred wasn't so upset he would listen to him. It was just so strange. Alfred had always been so patient, listened to anything no matter how inconsequential. To simply flat out refuse to hear even a single word from him? He really must be angry right now. It made Matthew sick to his stomach.

Francis tightened his grip a little more then released him, finally pulling properly out onto the street. "Do you want me to make something special tonight for dinner?"

There was a long pause of silence and then Matthew softly murmured, "Can we have pancakes?"

"Pancakes?" Francis smiled over at him softly. "Pancakes it is mon petit."

~.

It was dusk when Alfred discreetly made his way from Ivan's backyard to his front door wearing yesterday's clothes. His mouth and tongue were tired from practicing Russian. His body was sore. Every part of him was tired and all he wanted to do was sink into a cocoon of sleep and never come out again. Not unless he had managed to turn into something new first.

He made very little effort to be quiet, slamming the door shut behind him. It was no surprise when he heard from the other room Arthur's crabby voice. "Alfred? Alfred is that you?"

He made for the stairs, desperate to get to his room before he had to face Arthur. He had just reached the top as Arthur put his foot on the first. "Alfred! Where have you been? I demand you tell me!"

Alfred ignored him. He felt like stone, distant and unresponsive. He slammed his door shut behind him and locked it. A moment later the doorknob rattled and Arthur banged on the door. "Alfred! Open this bloody door or I'll-!"

There was more rattling of the knob. Alfred sat on his bed, turning his phone on and ignoring the racket from outside. Once it was on he waited for any alerts to pop up telling him he had missed texts or calls. When none immediately came up he told himself it was just because of the lag.

Arthur knocked on the door again, more to get his attention than to actually try to gain entrance. "If you don't want to tell me, fine! You are grounded! Do you hear me? Other than attending school I had better not catch you setting foot outside the front door!"

With his piece said, none of which much interested Alfred, Arthur loudly stomped off feeling more than a little ineffectual. Nothing he did or said seemed to make any difference at all.

Alfred hardly noted his leaving. He stared intently at his screen. Two minutes later and still nothing had popped up. He checked his text messages and voicemail just in case but neither had anything new. He swallowed hard, a sort of ringing sound in his ears.

Had Matthew never called back?

A stillness came over Alfred and he was lost for a while. Lost to his thoughts and to himself, chewing on his bottom lip until there was a mild copper taste. When he wandered back it felt like a long time had passed but a glance at his phone said a few minutes at the most. With something akin to disgust he turned it off and threw it aside.

Not even one call?

Alfred kicked off his shoes and curled up in bed, pressing his face against his pillow until he could hardly breathe. Had something happened to Matthew? Why wouldn't he call? Didn't he care...? Alfred clutched the pillow tighter, praying he fell asleep before the full implications of that sank in.

~.

"_Dad? Hey Dad? Dad?" _

_Arthur slowly turned his gaze away from the paper and smiled at the bright eyed child that stared up at him expectantly. "Yes Alfred?" _

"_When are you going to give the neighbor man his post? Its been sitting on the counter for a week now." Both their eyes slid to a letter that had been put in their mailbox instead of their neighbor's by mistake. _

_Arthur, not particularly fond of the Russian on their right, had found no reason to be anything but leisurely in doing anything with it even though it would have been easy to simply put it in his mailbox. "Oh yes, that. Don't you worry about it, I'll take care of it tomorrow maybe... Is that the time already? I really must get going. Be sure not to be late for the bus. I'll be home just as soon as I can tonight."_

_Arthur stood quickly, putting the paper down hastily. He finished off his tea in one gulp then hugged Alfred, who hugged him back tightly. "Ta for now." _

"_Bye!" Alfred watched Arthur scramble to get a few last minute items before leaving the house in a rush. _

_Alfred looked out the window. Weak light illuminated the day but it was most definitely shifting towards autumn and soon it would be completely dark at this early hour. Suddenly a figure in the next yard over caught his attention. Filled with restless energy, Alfred threw his coat and backpack on before grabbing the neglected piece of mail. He burst out the door then stopped short, watching the impossibly tall man mutter angrily to himself. With a bravery that exists only in children and the foolhardy he crossed the threshold. _

_He stood at the man's side for a long moment, seemingly unnoticed as he went about clipping off the dead tops of the sunflowers in his yard. His face was grim and as Alfred got close he suddenly realized what the man was muttering was not in English. _

_A little impatient at being ignored Alfred finally cleared his throat and gently tugged on the man's sleeve. The man froze and looked down at him, gaze unbelievably unfriendly. "...Da?" _

_Da? Alfred gave him a perplexed grin. What a silly sounding noise. "My name is Alfred. I live next door. I'm introducing myself because I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. Who are you?" _

_The man's impatience increased and he shrugged the small hand off. "I am a scary monster who eats children. Now go away." _

_That won a laugh from Alfred. "Oh? Well I'm not afraid of monsters!" _

_Ivan paused and looked at the child again, raising his eyebrow. "...That is foolish." _

_Alfred shrugged, hardly listening. He looked at the letter and read the name on it. "Ivan Bra-Bragin...ski?"_

_This only seemed to agitate Ivan further. He pointed the shears he held in Alfred's face. "You are saying it wrong! My last name aside it is not 'Eye-van' it is pronounced 'Eevahn'. I am so sick of hearing it so thoroughly butchered by Americans and- Where are you even from, England?" _

_In his years overseas Alfred had adopted a mild English accent which seemed to charm the pants off of his new teacher. "Mm, well I lived there for a while with Dad. Well, he's my second dad, see? At first I lived here then Mum and Daddy took me to live in England but they died so then I lived with Dad but now we live here. I brought you your post. They gave it to us by mistake." _

_Usually Alfred's frankness about his family situation invoked pity and kind words even though he didn't seek them out. Ivan's expression did not change in the slightest and he did not comment. His gaze slid down to the letter that Alfred cheerfully held out to him and he finally took it. It was junk mail. He used his shears to cut it in half and let the pieces flutter to the ground with the dead sunflowers. "Thank you for your effort. Now go away." _

_Ivan returned to his task, brows knit together in concentration or agitation. Whatever it may be, neither moods particularly registered to Alfred. _

"_Ivan?" He made extra super special care to say it the right way that time. Arthur said he was supposed to address adults by their last name but he didn't know how to pronounce it. "What are you doing?" _

_Jaw tightening, Ivan answered stiffly. "I am deadheading my sunflowers. Usually it means they will bloom again. This time of the year I do it because I am sad for them. They are dying now and will bear no new blooms once I have done this. Still, I wish to do something nice for them as they fade into death." _

"_It makes you sad?" Alfred didn't know much about flowers. In fact he generally ignored them. However, it seemed to legitimately effect this otherwise intimidating man and so now he was curious. _

"_Yes, I do not like when my sunflowers have to die." Ivan clipped another dead flower. It's browned petals scattered as it hit the ground. _

_Alfred considered the matter very seriously then drew from wisdom that only children know. "I don't think you have to be sad about it. They aren't dying. They're just going to sleep in the ground. They'll be dreaming for a while. And then they get to wake up again in the summer when it's nice and warm." _

_Ivan's eyes widened and he looked at Alfred and for the first time he actually seemed to see him. "...That is... Alfred, you said your name was?" _

_Alfred's smile widened and he enthusiastically nodded. He could sense just as much as see the sudden softening of the man before him. "Yep! Alfred F. Jones Kirkland." _

"_That is perhaps one of the loveliest sentiments I have ever been told. Thank you." Ivan looked over his remaining sunflowers and clipped one that was still a fairly vibrant yellow. _

_Though he didn't particularly like flowers Alfred took this one with a certain amount of pride. A token for a hero. While he didn't quite understand the significance of what he had said or done, he knew he had helped someone. "No problem!" _

"_...If you ever wish to, please visit me. I would not mind speaking to you more." What Alfred couldn't see was that Ivan had taken to looking at him as a scientist might examine a very peculiar specimen. _

_Alfred did his best to obey Arthur's rules but at the tender age of twelve he couldn't help but wish to start being a bit mischievous and the forbidden was particularly intriguing. And he really didn't understand what Arthur disliked so much about Ivan. He seemed alright to Alfred despite his initial prickliness. "I'd like that! Oh, but I'm not really supposed to talk to you... so it would have to be a secret if I did." _

_A slow smile crept across Ivan's face for the first time. When he spoke his voice was oddly sweet in comparison to how he had been speaking before. "That is alright with me. I am very good at keeping secrets." _

_A school bus began to rumble up the street and Alfred looked back at it. "Sorry, I have to go now. Got to run to the corner to catch my bus. Bye Ivan!" _

_Ivan raised a hand and waved goodbye, curiously watching the retreating figure, the sunflower an oddly bright splash of color on a drab background. Much as Alfred might prove to be in time. _

* * *

**Translations**:

"Kak dela?" - How are you?

"Khorosho" - I am well

"Khochesh' granat?" - "Do you want a pomegranate?"

Qu'est-ce qu'il s'est passé? - What happened?

Papa, il me déteste! - He hates me Papa!

Chut... C'est impossible! Comment pourrait-il te détester? - Shhh that cannot be! How can he hate you?

Je ne sais pas quoi faire! - I do not know what to do!

(Translations fixed)

**Symbolic Note: **

Pomegranates are perhaps one of the most symbolic of the fruits (I'd argue even beating out the apple). The specific reference I make in this chapter is to the story of Persephone who was raped then stolen by Hades and taken to the underworld. Life came to a standstill as her distraught mother Demeter went looking for her. Zeus finally demanded that Hades give her back, which he did, but he had tricked her into eating a few pomegranate seeds while there. This meant that she had to go back for a certain amount of time each year. Winter is essentially a representation of the time Persephone is with Hades.**  
**

**AN: **For Ivan's last name I know it would be more correct to have the y at the end but I started with an i and I'm just going for consistency I guess? -lazy-


	9. Chapter 9

Oh my gosh I want to punch myself right in the face for how incredibly long it has been since I last updated this. No, really. Wtf, me? (Also I believe it's been over a year since I started this story and have less than ten chapters to show for it. I am deeply ashamed of myself)

**NOTE: **I also would like to note that in the previous chapter, Matthew talks to Toris at the school. I changed this to him talking to Eduard (Estonia) because I discovered I need Toris for other things. It's annoying when back stories become clear late in the game -sighs-

* * *

When Alfred awoke his hair was a sweaty mess and he felt like he was suffocating. He sat up, filling his lungs with cool air. It made him cough. He slumped back against his pillow and stared at nothing for a long time, his hand absently stroking his sheets. His brow furrowed as his fingers traced along the cool plastic of his cellphone.

For a few more minutes he didn't move, then blinked and seemed to come back to himself. Feeling slightly numb he turned it on without looking at the screen. Who knew that finding one had no new messages could be so excruciating. Bitterness and hurt welled up and began to choke Alfred. Why wouldn't Matthew talk to him?

Just as he was about to throw the stupid thing across the room it began to ring. A jolt of adrenaline went through Alfred until he saw it was Kiku calling. Sighing softly he answered, forcing his voice to be cheerful. "Hey, what's up Kiku?"

"Hello, Alfred-kun. I was going out with Sadiq today. I thought you might like to meet him. Are you interested?"

Meeting Kiku's boyfriend... or at least one of them. Well, anything had to be better than sitting around and sinking further into his depression. "Yeah... sure, why not? I kind of have to sneak out, though. Give me a call when he's around so I can run out, alright?"

"In trouble again? Very well Alfred-kun. Talk to you soon." Kiku hung up.

Alfred sank back in his bed and let out a slow breath. Should he try calling Matthew again? Maybe. Something that Ivan had said to him last night came back to him suddenly. "_T__hen why are you with me and not with him right now?"_

The words stung sharply. Alfred didn't always want to have to be the one to make the effort, or to reach out to others. He'd spent so much time doing that. Would it kill someone to reach their hand out first? Matthew... well, he'd thought Mattie of all people might be the one to do that. Maybe he had been mistaken. Maybe Ivan was right and he would lose their bet after all.

Alfred found he didn't want to think about it right then.

Wishing he had said no to Kiku's invitation, Alfred forced himself out of bed and grabbed some clean clothes. He hurriedly dressed, using some body spray in lieu of a shower or any kind of deodorant. His fingers replaced the comb he was too lazy to find. If this Sadiq guy thought he looked like a total slob Alfred couldn't have cared less at the moment. He was trying to remember which picture had been of Sadiq when the phone rang.

It was Kiku again. "We are waiting outside, Alfred-kun."

"M'kay, be down in a sec." Alfred clicked his phone shut, tossed it onto the bed, snatched up a sweatshirt, then dashed from his room, thundering down the stairs. He heard Arthur calling his name just as reached the front door, slamming it violently behind him. It felt good, even if it was just misplaced aggression. He made a dash for a rather stylish car and slid into the back seat. "You might want to drive now."

There was rich laughter from the driver's seat and the car pulled onto the road, driving off at a speed that was definitely higher than the limit. Kiku turned to look back at Alfred. "Hello, Alfred-kun. This is Sadiq Adnan. Sadiq, my friend who you may call Alfred."

"Hello friend I may call Alfred." There was more of that pleasantly warm laughter and Alfred met the other's eyes in the rear view mirror. Vibrant green, he noted. It made him think of Arthur for a moment and he felt like sulking just a little bit.

Instead he shook the feeling off and flashed a friendly smile. "Good to meet you, Sadiq. I've been very curious about you."

"I am glad to hear it. Kiku has also spoken of you. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Alfred bet that Kiku hadn't talked about the other guy. What was his name, Hercules? Something like that. "Only good things I hope!"

"As if Kiku is capable of speaking of someone in any other way." Sadiq shot what was undoubtedly a look of fondness Kiku's way. A slight blush came to the smaller boy's cheeks but he did not respond.

Alfred wanted to snort but held it in. He obviously didn't know Kiku that well yet. His comments were subtle but could be amazingly cutting when he wanted them to be. Instead he laughed and things fell into silence. Alfred slumped back in his seat, noticing for the first time that it smelled wonderful in the car. Something like high quality cologne. It was probably coming from Sadiq. He stared out the window, not knowing where they were going and not particularly caring.

~.

Matthew wasn't quite sure if he was more touched or annoyed that his family was practically walking on eggshells on his behalf. Papa not only made pancakes for dinner but for breakfast as well. Angelique was deathly silent for the most part, occasionally making small comments to test the water. Perhaps it was a little childish but Matthew ignored her almost completely. Perhaps what she had done was a mistake, but it very well might be one that ruined his relationship.

And that only started to make him wonder how strong his relationship could be if one misunderstanding (or rather, a chain of them in rapid succession) was enough to knock the whole thing over.

The whole thing depressed him immensely and he sat in his room, holding his stuffed polar bear and checking his phone every five minutes to see if Alfred had called or texted and somehow he had missed it. It wasn't impossible, right? Part of him wondered if he should try calling again but after that message he had received... He felt sick. Very sick.

Francis paused by his son's room, watching him with a look of deep concern. It broke his heart to see him so miserable. It was an added misery that the whole thing was partially his fault. Even though he had punished Angelique for her hand in the mess (a sentence of two weeks grounding and the loss of certain cellphone privileges), he knew he was just as responsible if not more so. His meddling getting too deeply into other peoples' business again. It didn't help that this whole thing had really set him back with Arthur on top of everything. What a mess.

Matthew let out a sad little sigh that all but brought tears to Francis's eyes and he stepped into the room. "Matthieu... I am not sure if you are in the mood but would you like to go out and run some errands with me? It might do you some good to go out."

Matthew shrugged a shoulder. "I don't think I feel like going."

Francis walked over to Matthew's bed and sat beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders and giving him a squeeze. "Right now there are undoubtedly hurt feelings on both sides. Give him the weekend to cool off and think things through. Come Monday he will surely have calmed down enough to speak with you, I am sure."  
"Well what if he doesn't?" Matthew gave him a look that was somewhere between anger and despair. "What if he just hates me now and it's all over after this?"

Francis pressed a kiss to the side of Matthew's head. "Then it is not meant to be mon petit. However, I have more faith in your relationship than that. Don't you? Hm?"

After a moment Matthew nodded slowly, not quite sure if he was actually convinced. "Yes... I'd like to, anyway."

Stroking Matthew's hair, Francis let silence sit between them for a moment as a spectrum of emotions flickered across his son's face. Matthew finally put aside his bear and looked at his Papa. "Maybe I will go with you."

Francis smiled and brushed his finger's through Matthew's hair one last time. "Everything will surely turn out for the best, Matthieu."

Matthew didn't answer but he hoped this time Papa was right.

~.

Sadiq parked the car outside of a very stylish café that Alfred had walked by before but had never been in. When he got out of the car he felt the shortest tinge of regret at his wardrobe decision when he saw that Sadiq was actually quite stylish himself. It faded quickly. What he was wearing was good enough.

Other than that, at a glance, Alfred noted Sadiq to be tall, dark, and handsome. And older. Definitely older than them. The stubble was part of it but there was a certain air about him that suggested it as well. Alfred found an odd satisfaction in the fact that he also seemed friendly.

The three went into the café and found a table. A perky waitress came over and took their order. Kiku got some sort of latte, Sadiq ordered a Turkish coffee with a slice of tiramisu, and Alfred asked for the most 'normal' type of coffee they had so long as it was left black.

Once they were left to their own devices, Alfred turned his attention to lover number one. (Or was it two?) "So, tell me something about yourself."

Sadiq launched into the basics, obviously used to that request. "I'm a computer science major in my fourth year. I attend the university in town. I take sitar lessons in my free time which is how I met Kiku."

Alfred nodded. "Yep, I heard about that. So you've been seeing each other for...?"

"A little over two months now." Sadiq looked at Kiku for confirmation and received a small nod.

"That's great," Alfred said. And he meant it. "Honestly I was surprised when I heard about you. Kiku is such a shut in."

Sadiq smiled at Kiku. "Just a little shy, aren't you güzelim? All one needs is to give a little effort to get him talking."

Too bad it seemed that Hercules guy had figured that out at about the same time. "Definitely. That's how I got close to him, too. We've been neighbors for a long time now."

Was that a flash of jealousy? If it was, Sadiq smoothed it over well. "Indeed, so I have heard. I always wanted a long term friend like that. It never did happen."

Alfred was just about to tell him it could be over rated in the most delicate terms possible when the waitress appeared, dispersing their drinks and offering Sadiq his slice of cake with a very bright smile. It went utterly ignored and she walked off looking snubbed. There was a lull as they fussed over their drinks, finding them all a bit too hot to drink.

As they waited Sadiq pulled something out of one of his pockets, gently taking one of Kiku's wrists. "I got something for you, güzelim."

Kiku and Alfred watched on as Sadiq started to fasten a bracelet around his delicate wrist. It was made up of blue glass beads. About every other bead looked like it had an eye painted on it. Kiku tilted his head and examined it curiously. "Thank you. It's lovely."

"It's a nazar boncuğu, or more commonly called an evil eye charm. It will protect you from the ill intent of others." He brought Kiku's hand briefly to his lips and color tinged the Japanese boy's cheeks.

Alfred felt himself shiver and quickly took a drink from his coffee. It scalded his tongue and he did his best not to wince. "Hm, maybe I need something like that."

"Everyone could use one," Sadiq said, matter-of-fact. "I'll see if I can get one for you."

Alfred recognized that the words were meant to endear Kiku to Sadiq further but actually there was a part of him that really wanted one of them. He could use a charm like that. "Nah, it's fine. Pretty neat, though."

Sadiq nodded, just starting on his cake when his phone rang. He glanced at it and sighed. "I hate to be rude, but I have to take this. I'll be right back."

"Not at all, please take your time." Kiku gave him a nod of understanding and Sadiq stood, answering his phone as he started to walk off towards the door. Kiku's fingers traced over the beads around his wrist.

Alfred blew on his coffee. "So... Sadiq seems nice. And I assume you like him."

"Oh yes. Sadiq is wonderful. Very intelligent and surprisingly cute. You would not necessarily guess it looking at him but he really loves sweets and tears up over soap operas." By the look on Kiku's face, by his standards, these were some of the most desirable traits another human could have.

Alfred touched his tongue to the back of his teeth for a moment, disliking the burnt feeling on the tip of his tongue. "So are you going to stick with him then?"

Kiku blinked. "What do you mean, Alfed-kun?"

"Well, you also have that Hercules-"

"His name is Heracles. What about him?"

Alfred looked at him for a moment. "Are you going to break up with him?"

Kiku gave Alfred one of those blank stares he was so damned good at. "Why would I do that?"

"But I thought you liked Sadiq." Alfred tried to take a drink of his coffee, once again scalding his tongue.

"I do. But I am also very fond of Heracles. He is so calm and his love for cats is truly unrivaled. It is very sweet. I would like you to meet him sometime. You would certainly approve of him, as well."

Alfred sure hoped that Kiku liked them for more reasons than the ones he'd given. Two people at once... It hit close to home. But Kiku had all the control over his situation. "Doesn't it bother you at all? I mean... They both really probably care about you, right?"

Kiku tilted his head. It was not common at all for Alfred to question his actions. Usually they listened to one another, sparing words of understanding for one another if it felt the other was asking for them (which wasn't often) but rarely ones of disapproval. "But I care for both of them. So it should not be a problem, right? Is... something the matter, Alfred-kun?"

"What? No... Nothing's wrong. Sorry." On some level it bothered Alfred but he knew it was only for personal reasons. He also knew it made him a hypocrite.

Kiku was naïve rather than overtly cruel. Alfred knew him well enough to know that he wasn't purposefully trying to hurt anyone and that rather it was his inexperience making him act. Alfred would leave it. No doubt this would lash back on Kiku at some point but it was a lesson he had to learn on his own. No words Alfred could give him would be as effective as a real life experience. Besides, even if it was harder, the scars of knowledge left by past mistakes never faded, were never forgotten.

Rather than let that subject dwell, Alfred decided to turn to something new. "Kiku, I have a question. How would you feel if Mei and Yao got divorced?"

The question seemed to take Kiku off guard enough that his expression actually slipped to one of surprise for a moment. "That... Well, why do you ask?"

Alfred shrugged. He could hardly tell Kiku he knew they were in fact getting divorced. "They fight all the time. It's not unusual or anything for people who don't get along well to get divorced. It was mostly just asked out of curiosity. Would you prefer if they did?"

Kiku's face became drawn. It was clear the notion had never even occurred to him before. When he answered his words were carefully chosen. "I cannot imagine either of them being the type to do that but they are both adults. It is their decision, not mine."

Alfred couldn't help but wonder if that was a brave front or if Kiku was simply that indifferent to his step-parents. "True. Though it's funny how adults are considered to have all this authority. I dunno, I don't think they actually know what they're doing either. Sort of winging it."

"Hmm... So why are you in trouble this time, Alfred-kun?" Kiku regarded him with a flash of vague curiosity.

"Oh, that. Arthur and I got in a big fight and I didn't end up coming home until late yesterday. He's just pulling his usual 'parental' bullshit." Alfred shrugged it off, giving his coffee another try. This time it was cool enough to sip without burning.

"Ah. A shame. It has been a while since that has happened. I suppose old habits die hard."

Alfred snorted to hide the pain that welled up in his chest and patted Kiku's back. "You got that right. Those things are almost impossible to kill."

Sadiq returned to the table, his expression somewhat pensive. "That was so strange."

Kiku raised an eyebrow. "What was? Your phone call?"

"No, not that." Sadiq shook his head then gestured with his chin towards the window. "I was talking and as this boy and older man were walking by the boy paused at the window and did a double take. He was staring intently and I swear it was at the two of you. The older man asked him what was wrong and he quickly turned away, saying it was nothing, but... I swear he looked almost exactly like you, Alfred. Do you have a twin?"

Alfred's mouth went dry and his stomach clenched, expression becoming pained before he could hide it. "No... Not a twin."

Alfred's mind was racing. How had that looked to Matthew, with him sitting there with Kiku? Or had he cared at all? He hadn't had much of a reaction from the sound of it but then again Sadiq wouldn't know how to read Matthew's reactions like he could. Had he been upset? Indifferent? Scornful?

Taking a deep breath, Alfred smiled and shrugged. "There is a possibility it was someone I know, though."

"If it was Williams-san, why wouldn't he come in to say hello?" Kiku quickly identified him for Sadiq, "Ah, that is Alfred-kun's boyfriend. They do have a striking resemblance to one another."

"Maybe he was too busy," Alfred muttered, giving the first excuse that came to his mind.

Kiku stared at him a moment then decided it wasn't his business. "That is a shame."

With that the issue was dropped. Sadiq seemed to pick up on the sudden strange mood and tried to banish it with interesting stories about his classes and peers. He seemed shocked to discover that Alfred had never done hashish and insisted the three of them ("And your boyfriend if he'd like to come," he added charitably) get together to do so sometime. Sadiq and Kiku got lost in a conversation over their instruments and that was perfectly alright with Alfred. He was starting to itch with impatience. He had left his cellphone at home. All he wanted was to go home and see if Matthew had called.

Once their coffee was gone, Sadiq's cake eaten, and the bill settled (Alfred was glad Sadiq insisted on picking it up as he hadn't even thought to bring money) the three finally walked from the charming café into the nippy air.

The drive back was largely as silent as it had been on the way there. As Sadiq idled outside of his house, Alfred was grateful that Arthur didn't come barrage it in all his angry eyebrow fury. "It was really great to meet you, Sadiq. I would be glad to hang out again sometime in the future."

Sadiq had turned to address him, smiling. "I would like that. And it was nice to finally meet you after hearing about you from this one."

As he said the words Sadiq reached over and stroked Kiku's cheek casually to establish that he was the one with privileges to touch and Alfred was not. Alfred didn't begrudge him the gesture and hoped that he never found out about Hercules—no wait, Heracles. It was a nightmare waiting to happen.

Kiku nodded at Alfred, looking a little shy about the touch. Hard to believe how maidenly he acted considering he was definitely no virgin. "Have a good day, Alfred-kun."

"Yep. Thanks for the coffee, Sadiq. Talk to you later, Kiku. Bye!" Alfred got out of the car and waved as they drove away. He found it interesting that Kiku wasn't dropped off at his own house. Apparently they had some more intimate plans together. Alfred briefly imagined them getting off to each other playing their weird instruments and was mildly amused before he remembered his urgency to check his cellphone.

Entering the house cautiously, Alfred quietly shut the door behind him. Admittedly he was a little suspicious when he got to his room and wasn't ambushed but didn't think much of it until he went to grab his phone from off his bed. It wasn't there. A tinge of panic started to bloom inside him and he tried to keep it down. Must have remembered it wrong. Surely it was somewhere else. He checked all available surfaces, the floor, under the bed, and even in his bedding. It was simply gone. The panic had fully bloomed when a realization struck him suddenly. Arthur had taken it.

Jumping to his feet, Alfred ran from the room, first checking Arthur's room and then rushing downstairs. He found Arthur calmly sipping tea and reading the paper. Alfred's cheeks flushed with rage at the casual display. "Where is my phone?"

Arthur didn't look up at him, instead taking another sip as his eyes jumped down to the next line. "You're under restriction. You hardly need your phone."

Alfred felt another flash of anger and gritted his teeth. "It's important! Where is my phone?"

"I won't give it back." Arthur's eyes came up sharply to meet Alfred's.

"You're such a bastard! What am I even grounded for? Because I said something that was true? Because I missed my bedtime? Seriously, what is the big fucking deal, Arthur? You're hardly around as it is, it's not even like you can enforce if I choose to follow your orders of being grounded or not!"

Arthur set his cup down and it clanked unpleasantly as it hit its matching saucer. "You may not like it, but I am the authority figure in this household and you will do as I say! Don't you disrespect me in this manner! I will not have it, and I will not have you running around God knows where at night! It's very dangerous, Alfred, and I worry about you!"

"Oh, as if! You didn't even call to try and find me, did you?"

"It's not like you would have answered your phone if I had! I'm not unreasonable, Alfred. I tried to have an open conversation with you and you're the one who spat in my face. So what am I supposed to do with you when you won't talk to me and you won't listen?" Arthur was standing now, the paper fallen forgotten at his feet.

"You only want to listen to me when it's convenient for you. So why should I bother listening in return? I have no idea what you were playing at the other night but things like that, I don't want to deal with them. If you have to clear your conscious or pretend to be my father, try to make it involve me as little as possible. Now where is my phone?"

Arthur looked deeply wounded by the words and frowned as a bitter taste filled his mouth. "You can have it when I give it back to you. Until then it stays with me. I won't have you making anymore rendezvous with your friends."

Alfred really thought he could kill Arthur in that moment. It was so unfair of him to do this! "Will you at least tell me if I got any calls?"

"No, not as far as I'm aware," Arthur said huffily before sitting back down, picking up his tea cup.

It took all of Alfred's will not to smack the cup right out of Arthur's hand. He hated him so much in that moment he didn't know what to do with himself. With a sound of disgust he turned away and stomped upstairs, slamming his door behind him and locking it.

Throwing himself onto his bed, Alfred hugged one of his pillows fiercely. Maybe he was upset over nothing. Maybe Matthew hadn't even called. He wanted him to. So much that it hurt. This whole thing was a giant mess.

~.

Somewhere along the lines during their errands, Matthew had started to brood and Francis wasn't sure why. He gently tried to probe the issue but Matthew hadn't wanted to talk about it so he let it drop. Francis remembered what it was like to be so young. Honestly he had been much worse at this age. Then again, he'd also been dealing with a drug addicted mother and a neglectful father. Even if he was a miserable excuse for a parent he knew he was an improvement on that.

When they got home Matthew silently slipped to the sanctuary of his room and tried to work through what he had seen at the café. Why had Alfred been with Kiku? Was he simply getting comfort from him or had he actually been spending all that time he was unaccounted for with him? Was Kiku the reason Alfred didn't want to talk to him?

Confusion and hurt rose up and intermingled with an ugly streak of jealousy. In a time when he wasn't certain if Alfred even wanted to speak to him ever again, Kiku was casually hanging out with him in a public place. As much as he'd tried to ignore the rumors, Alfred did have a reputation. Had Matthew been thrown over for an ongoing affair with Kiku?

No, now he was jumping to far too radical conclusions. Besides, it was too painful to even imagine that was true for a moment. It was hard not to, though, and even more jealousy welled up as he unwillingly wondered if they were sleeping together even at that very moment.

That was too much for Matthew. Sitting up, he pulled out his cellphone as a wave of determination came over him. He was going to call Alfred one more time. If Alfred didn't want him to call, he could say it to him out loud to finalize it for good. Fingers trembling slightly, Matthew brought up Alfred's number and hit send.

The phone began to ring and Matthew's whole body was tense. Miles away Alfred's phone sat in the back of one of Arthur's drawers, the ringer set to silent. Matthew silently begged for Alfred to pick up, desperately wanting to hear his voice no matter what it said. He did get to hear it finally, but only when Alfred's voice mail picked up. Heart sinking, the temporary nerve seemed to leave him and he hung up.

Matthew collapsed onto his side, face pressing against one of his pillows. He grabbed his polar bear and hugged it tightly to his chest. The tears were slow in coming but once they started they lasted for a long time.

~.

Kiku sat on Sadiq's bed. He had his own apartment. It was small but Sadiq utilized the space well. Kiku's eyes traveled along one of the walls. Sadiq liked to collect masks and there were all kinds up on display. Some were plain, some very fancy, and there were so many colors and materials. It was always a delight to look at them.

There was the smallest buzz as Kiku's phone began to ring. He checked it and saw that it was Heracles. He answered, his voice soft. "Hello."

Heracles's voice responded with that sleepy tone it always had. "Mm... hey, Kiku. I was wondering... would you be interested in having dinner with me?"

Kiku looked at the door briefly to make sure Sadiq wasn't nearby. "I cannot do it tonight, I'm a little busy right now. But tomorrow would work for me. Would that be alright?"

"Ahh... yeah, that would be good for me, too. Okay. We can decide on a time tomorrow, then. I'll talk to you later, Kiku."

"Yes, that sounds good. I will talk to you later." Kiku hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket. That should be nice. Heracles always proves to be such a soothing dinner partner. He's just soothing to be around in general and Kiku liked that.

After thinking that over and how he would excuse it to Yao and Mei his thoughts eventually turned to that afternoon and Alfred. At first he wasn't sure why but then he worked it out. Something was off with his friend. The way Alfred had reacted when Sadiq had told him that someone who was probably Matthew was outside, the fact that Matthew (if it was him) didn't come inside, Alfred's question over whether it was alright with him seeing two people... Kiku couldn't help but wonder if there were some connections between these things. Something was certainly going on. Something wrong... Did the picture fit together?

It was during his musings that Sadiq finally came in, lacking everything but pants. He smiled warmly at Kiku, walking towards him. When he sat beside him no words were shared between them. Sadiq leaned in and began to kiss Kiku's jaw as one of his hands slipped beneath the hem of his shirt. Kiku flushed and tilted his head. As his lips were captured in a kiss, fingers stroking his bare skin, all thoughts of Alfred were swept completely from his mind.

~.

The sun was already getting low in the sky. Soon it would start getting dark in the afternoon. Winter was coming closer every day and Alfred felt an added layer of misery as he contemplated this. He hated the winter and the way it seeped deep into his bones and dusted the earth with a layer of death. Warm; he wanted to live somewhere warm someday. Not here, not Russia.

Alfred's eyes roamed his room and with a small sigh he hauled himself up. He walked to the window, fingers lightly pressing against the cool glass. The room across the way had a light on but it was empty. Withdrawing his hand, Alfred started to move away then noticed a notebook on his desk. He picked it up and flipped through the pages. There were some half-hearted math notes in the first few pages and the rest was blank.

More on a whim than anything he turned to one of the first empty pages then searched the messy desktop until he found a sharpie. The tip hovered above the paper for a moment and then he drew a large circle, giving it an unhappy face. He ripped the page out and set it in the window.

As Alfred glanced up a startled jolt went through him as he realized Ivan was at the other window, watching him. Ivan looked from him to the drawing then disappeared again for a moment. Alfred's heart was starting to calm from the unexpected shock when Ivan reappeared with his own notebook. He drew for a second then held it up. It was a question mark.

Hesitating for a moment, Alfred finally shrugged and wrote out 'Arthur', holding it up for Ivan to see. Ivan tilted his head and drew something else, this time taking longer. When it was finished he held it up for Alfred. It was another frowny face but had thick, angry eyebrows. Alfred snorted and suppressed a laugh, trying to hold it in. When he straightened up Ivan was smiling.

Taking a few deep breaths to further calm himself, Alfred tapped the sharpie against the desk. That had released some of the tension in his chest and he felt a little better. He turned the notebook to a fresh page and started to draw again. The two went back and forth for a while, communicating with single words and pictures.

As it got later Alfred found he was down to two more pages in the notebook. On the second to last he thought about it carefully then wrote 'X paper'. Ivan nodded then worked on his reply, finally turning the page towards Alfred. It was simply a heart. Alfred turned to his last page and thought hard about it before writing the word 'Bye' with a small heart next to it. Honestly it didn't look like much of a heart at all. More like a dented triangle. It almost made him laugh and seemed to amuse Ivan. Or maybe the older man was just happy with it. He waved then closed his blinds before throwing the notebook in one of the desk drawers.

Soon his problems would come crashing down again but that had been a pleasant reprieve, even if it had been a short one. It also reminded him of why he had initially been drawn to Ivan. In his strange little ways he was fun.

Across the way Ivan closed his own blinds, smiling to himself. Things were getting back on track nicely. Surely it would only be a little longer before that small bump in his plans would be smoothed over completely. It hadn't even been that difficult and he was glad for that. There wasn't much time left before Alfred would be his.

~.

_Alfred was a curious child and brightened at new discoveries. He was absolutely dazzled by the various wonders in Ivan's house that came from the exotic land of Russia. The few times he'd sneaked over (climbing the fence and knocking on the back door secret agent style), he'd found something interesting to occupy him each time. Ivan was a somewhat distant companion but captured his interest as well. _

_Currently he was preoccupied by a matryoshka doll, playing with the various layers of the strangely painted wooden women. He'd never seen something like it before. He also couldn't quite wrap his mouth around the proper name of it but that hardly mattered to him. It was easy enough to avoid calling it by name so Ivan couldn't correct him a million times. _

_Ivan watched him, occasionally telling him little stories or facts that came to his mind. Alfred was a surprisingly good listener, particularly considering his age. He still wasn't quite sure how he felt about the child but if nothing else he was a nice distraction from time to time. _

_The phone began to ring and Ivan turned his head, looking at the phone on the table beside the couch. There were very few people who called him and his usual smile turned to a hard line. Reaching over, he answered the phone. "Allo?" _

_The voice that answered was immediately identifiable before the name was given. "Ivan, it's Toris." _

_It was refreshing to hear a familiar voice in a familiar language. "I know. Do you have news for me?" _

"_Ah..." There was a long pause and it was all the answer Ivan needed. "I, um, I'm actually calling to check on you. How have you been?" _

"_Well enough. I hope you have been, also." _

"_Yes, I'm alright. Fairly busy but that's nothing new. I've seen your sisters recently. They're doing well." _

_The slightest smile came to Ivan's lips. "Oh? I am glad to hear that. I miss them and I do not talk with them as much as I would like." _

"T_hey miss you, too. Very much. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before... Well." Toris faltered and didn't seem to know how to proceed._

_The smile disappeared again. "Is he still ill?" _

"_Ill? No, I'm afraid not. His illness was so bad for a while I really did think it was going to be the end of him but... Recently he's gotten much better." _

"_No, of course someone like him could not be killed by something as common as an illness. If I did not want him to die so quickly I would wish something like a terrible, slow moving cancer on him."_

_There was something that wasn't quite laughter on the other end of the line then another pause of silence. "I'm sorry, Ivan." _

"_It is not your fault. I do appreciate all you did for me. All things will happen in good time." Too much time for his liking, but he had no control over such things, unfortunately. "It was good to hear from you, but I actually have a guest at the moment." _

_Toris sounded surprised but not unhappy to hear this. "Oh! A guest? You've made a connection?" _

_Ivan glanced over at Alfred, who was now watching him curiously. "Something like that." _

"_That's good. I'm glad to hear that. Take care of yourself, Ivan. I'll call you again sometime soon. And you know you can call if you ever need to." _

"_I know, thank you. Oh, there is one more thing." _

"_Yes?" _

_Ivan's voice became cheerful. "Do not touch my little sister or you will regret it." _

_There was a small choking sound. "I- I mean, that's-" _

"_Have a nice day, Toris!" Ivan gently set the phone back in its cradle. _

_Alfred got up on the couch, head tilted. "I like it when you speak Russian. It sounds weird." _

_Ivan noted that Alfred's own English accent was starting to fade. "It does not sound weird. It sounds as it should." _

"_Huh, well I think it's funny. But maybe English sounds funny to you," he added. _

_The small smile returned to Ivan's lips. "Would you like to see how it is written? I am sure you will find that strange as well." _

_Alfred nodded quickly. "Yeah! I want to see!" _

_Ivan got up to find a piece of paper and a pencil before returning to the couch. He used his leg to write a sentence on it then handed it out for Alfred. The boy stared at it blankly then frowned. He gave Ivan a suspicious look. "Are you trying to play a joke on me or something? There's no way anyone can read this!" _

"_Just because you cannot does not mean other people cannot. I know perfectly well what it says." _

"_Oh yeah?" Alfred gave him an almost indignant look. "And what does it say?" _

_Ivan lightly poked Alfred's nose with the eraser. "It translates to something like, 'This boy does not know how to read Russian'." _

_Alfred frowned at Ivan then at the language. It melted back into a look of excitement. "It's like a code! Code language, something like that?" _

_Ivan shrugged. "Perhaps, if you would like to think about it that way." _

"_I want to try writing some, hand over the pencil." Once he had it, Alfred slipped onto the floor, kneeling in front of the couch and setting the paper on the cushion as he attempted to copy the Russian letters. They were clumsy but it was an earnest effort. Alfred suddenly spoke, not looking up from the paper. "Who were you talking to?" _

"_Someone I knew in Russia. We... worked together sometimes." It was about all he would say of the man to anyone. _

_Alfred paused and looked up at him for a moment, meeting his eyes. "You seemed a little upset when you were talking with him. Are you alright?" _

_It had been a long time since anyone had asked him that. An even longer time since someone had asked him that and actually cared about the answer. The fact that Alfred had picked up on his emotions at all was... His smile softened, though he wasn't really aware of it. "I am alright."_

_Alfred paused for another moment then beamed at him, returning to the Russian letters. Ivan reached out almost gingerly and touched his hair for a moment before withdrawing his hand. His interest in this boy only seemed to increase over time. A question had started to form within him, not yet fully developed but coming closer to the surface. Was this boy another sunflower or was he capable of being molded into a gardener?_

* * *

Translation:

Güzelim – my beautiful one

**AN: **So angsty -laughs- Next chapter should have a slight improvement in mood. (I've only recently realized this is a melodrama -laughs-) Also TurkeyxJapan: MOST UNDERRATED HETALIA PAIRING EVER.


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